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xani's mom
10-23-2010, 03:20 PM
I am wondering how many of you have found it difficult to meet someone that you would like to share your life with? I was seeing someone when I first started getting sick I was seeing someone, and although he didn't make it clear that my illness was the reason he did not stick around long after the diagnosis. Since then I have not met anyone, the biggest reason for this is because there aren't a lot of random men showing up to my door, and I don't go anywhere. I feel as though if I did meet someone who falls in love with someone who can't participate in a lot of things. How will I ever meet someone who wants to deal with my drama? On the other hand as lonely as I sometimes feel, do I want to have to explain myself to another person? Those of you that have that person who is there in the middle of the night to help you through when you have a spasm, intense pain, upset stomach, or just simply can't sleep are so blessed. Did you meet these people before you got sick? On top of the illness I had to have a complete hysterectomy earlier this year so I could not even give a man children. Also if you start dating someone new at what point do you have to tell them that you are not healthy, you can't go out in the sun, a day at the golf course means 4 days in bed and all the great things that make SLE a complicated life?

magistramarla
10-23-2010, 03:58 PM
Hi Heather,
I can't give you any advice on this one, since we've been married 34 years today. When I've told Jeff that I feel guilty for slowing him down, he just replies that he remembers saying "in sickness and in health". I'm very, very lucky to have the love of my life!
I know that Rob found a lady who accepts his limitations - I'm sure that he can tell you all about their relationship.
I think that if you dare to "put yourself out there" and be honest with the guys that you meet, a gentleman may come along. The ones that run away weren't worth bothering with.
My daughter found a "sweet geek" after the divorce from her first husband. Steve said that he was resolved that he would probably be the guy who "picked up the pieces" after a jock or popular type had broken a lady's heart. He adores her, and is a wonderful step-father for my grandson. You need to find someone like that.
Good luck girl, I'm rooting for you!
Hugs,
Marla

xani's mom
10-23-2010, 06:43 PM
Marla-
You are very lucky. My hope is that there is someone out there waiting for me. I guess that the person I am and the person I was are so completely diff. I really don't know what I am looking for. I have always been the one in charge, so I was usually taking care of the person I was with. I don't truly know how to look for somebody that wants to take care of me sometimes. I am happy for your daughter, and stories like that do give me hope.
Thanx-Heather

rob
10-25-2010, 03:19 AM
Heather-Check your inbox, I sent you a P.M.

Rob