View Full Version : Hi i'm a newbie and i don't have a clue

10-19-2005, 04:38 PM
Hello all. I'm new to this site and have never been to one like it before. I am 25, married, have 2 children ages 4 and 2. I was officially diagnosed with lupus in of the beginning of 2004 but i have all kinds of medical problems other than that. My rheumatologist says that i'm "special" because of all of my illnesses. He is the reason why i'm here. I have been sick for years but none of my crappy doctors could figure out what was wrong with me. My family and friends all think that because i don't look sick then i must be lazy. It's been really hard for me to deal with everything alone. My rheumy told me that if i couldn't a way to deal with the stress then he would have no choice but to hospitalize me, so here i am.

10-19-2005, 04:53 PM
Welcome, darkwings, you'e among friends and those who understand, who truly understand.

Visit another site - www.butyoudontlooksick.com - and look at the Spoon Theory. Print it out for your family and friends. It explains so much better than I've ever seen what our days can be like.

Visit also the many other posts here - you'll learn that you are not alone, that we have all "been there" and understand what you're saying. Stress is such a difficult thing, we all deal with it differently. If you can, talk to someone - a counselor, a social worker, a minister. Someone with whom you can "Let it all out" and who will help you find your path.

Give yourself space, give yourself the permission to go slowly and take time.

And give yourself a hug, dear, you deserve one!

10-19-2005, 09:21 PM
hello darkwing
i know what you mean about having a lot wrong. my mother never called me her prablem child i was her sick child. as far as being lazy i agree with hatlady. the spoon theory is the best. since i found it i feel 100 times better about things and i share it with everyone i can. its totally changed how i feel even about myself. i used to let the "world" tell me i was a lazy person but learned not to let them dictate to me who or what6 i am. it really helped with the stress level in my life.
take care and learn to just be who you are. it really does matter.

10-31-2005, 08:01 PM
Hi Darkwings,
I do hope you find understanding here. My husband doesn't think I'm lazy, but he thinks I'm depressed. It's much the same, isn't it. I'm new to this forum, but find it to be warm and welcoming. Hope you do to.