View Full Version : I was SO MEAN today..just fed up with Lupus!

09-27-2010, 09:13 PM
I think I snapped today. This weekend my parents were so hard on me about taking care of myself. I usually stay in the house and avoid sunlight but that gets so old. I felt good enough to just go to the pub and have a few drinks with my aunt the other night. My dad and mom both lectured me and got onto me about it. WTF? They even called my hubby to see if I was home and then tried to tell me that my hubby was mad at me. Well, if he was, he didn't get mad until my dad called him and got him all riled up. First of all, they don't live with Lupus, I do. Second of all, I just wanted to go out one time and it was only two hours! They said I need my sleep.. believe me...I KNOW! I get tired of everyone else jumping in if they don't like my decisions.
I just ignored them. I wasn't about to get upset and give them the satisfaction.
Today though I was achey and nauseated from the MTX dose before bed last night. I started throwing away trash and doing the dishes in a loud and angry manner. I scared hubby I'm sure. Then I got my stuff together and went back to bed after that.
I just get so tired of ppl who feel fine every day telling me how to live. If I wanted them to meddle I would call them and ask for an opinion.
Do you ever feel as if people stick their nose in your business a little too much??

09-27-2010, 09:30 PM
Good for you, Islablue!
We may have a disease, but we still deserve to have a life. I participate in life, enjoy myself and even go out to the Trident Room and have a few drinks on a regular basis, sometimes with "the girls", but more often with the hubby. I know that I'll pay for it the next day, and I'll spend the day on the couch vegging with the cats, but it's worth it!

09-27-2010, 11:52 PM
I can't do the booze no mo, but that ain't the lupus... old story. Anyway, *Warning: the following might be construed as "parent talk"*, just remember that they love you and want nothing but the best for you... but seriously, called your house and got between you and the hubby?...

09-28-2010, 06:21 AM

There was a time when my parents treated me like I was a child after first learning of my Lupus diagnosis. I finally had it out with them, and told them that I appreciated the concern, but that their overbearing way of showing that concern was doing more harm than good. I explained to them that the stress they were causing me was doing nothing more than causing me more flares. Both of my parents are outspoken, very strong willed people, and they can be incredibly overbearing and smothering at times. I just had to stick to my guns and tell them that they cannot treat me like a little kid. I told them I will live my life however I see fit regardless of having Lupus.

They asked me why I have to dig in my heels, and be so stubborn and independent. They asked where in the world did I learn this obstinate nature. There was a sudden silence, and I could see that they knew they had made a mistake in asking this question. I told them that I learned it from them. I reminded them of all the times they told me to think for myself, to be a leader rather than a follower, and to make my own decisions in life. Since then, we've had a very good understanding, and they don't let their concern become counterproductive anymore.

If you want to go out for a drink, I say go. I go out to my favorite watering hole for a drink or two with Karen and with other friends quite often. Live your life, you know your own limits. As much as stress is a known trigger for a flare, I believe in the opposite as well. Relaxing, having some fun, and forgetting about this crappy disease even for just a couple of hours, can do wonders for your health and attitude. We are going to get up most days and feel like hell, so we might as well have a little fun along the way. Try to talk to your parents, let them know you appreciate them, but that they are not helping the situation with their current attitude and actions. It may take some time, but you and your folks can find a balance.


09-28-2010, 05:37 PM
People stick their nose in my business all the time and I am 60 years old. Unfortunately, I'm afraid this goes on until the end of ones life.

09-29-2010, 04:10 AM
I'm seeing this from the other end. I just got back from my parents, my mom's 85 and dad's 93.

I wanted to say you need help now. It's very very hard not to interfere. But you have reminded me that it is their lives. But when is it right to interfere. How do you know when they are going too far.

You don't. You just hope and pray. So all I have to say is:

yes live your life, but remember you do have limitations

09-29-2010, 11:26 AM
Even when our children grow up we cannot stop being their parents and sometimes it goes overboard but you cannot stop love. Bonita

09-30-2010, 09:13 AM
I appreciate all the love and even kind advice that my parents give me. What I DO NOT appreciate and will not allow is them calling my husband and making him upset with me. He gets very upset when they call him and start getting nosey. We are all fine now and my dad is taking me to the Rheumy today. Hopefully they will understand from now on. Falling asleep now and I haven't had drinks in days. So I guess hangovers happen for Lupies with or without alcohol. :)

10-01-2010, 09:45 AM
I think that our kids think that we have lost our minds. We rented out our house, moved to Ca and my hubby went back to college. We are living like college kids and loving it. The kids seem to be worried about us and keep checking up on us. The youngest two girls call me every day and drive me crazy.
Sometimes I just have to remind them that we have a life!

10-01-2010, 03:08 PM
Hi Islablue,
You've got your match here mate where temper's are concerned because i get put out in seconds. The only trouble which annoys me is my hubby saying at 2am in the morning you should be in bed now because of the medication your taking for my epilepsey as it takes me 2 good hours to come round of a morning drugged up, he can't open his mouth these days and he's speaking to a lion and when he's on about rest i often say i'll dig my parent's back up because it's like when i lived with them.
Take no notice mate and secondly your hubby dow want to listen to it either it's your lifes together and you know what your doing.

Keep your chin up & i hope tomorrow is better for you. Terri x