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kim,l
09-16-2010, 04:00 AM
well went back to gp today has ordered ct scan and back xray also bloodtest she is worried that i am having trouble with my liver so ordered liver function test as well as full blood count she is worried that mexotrexate is affecting my liver if the test is positive i will have to be admitted into hospital so i am hoping this is not the case i must admit i am a bit frightened i told her today that this disease is really getting me down i just look in the mirror and wonder where i have gone i was always independant, strong, could always find the humour in anythingnow i just do not know who i am anymore people used to respect how i handle my life now they just show pity i really hate ,hate this disease andi hate feeling so angry all the time i just want to be happy for a change. thankyou for letting me vent hugs kim l

tgal
09-16-2010, 04:29 AM
{{{Hugs}}}} I am so sorry that things are difficult right now. I understand about not knowing where you have gone. I think that is the hardest part of this disease. It completely changes who you are not just what you can do. The good news is that we learn to adjust to our new limits and then we find a new normal. I personally am still working on figuring out my new normal! I know I will get it someday and I know you will too.

Don't forget that we are all here for you and that we love you

Bonita
09-16-2010, 05:49 AM
I also give you a big hug and wish all this would go away and you start feeling better. I worry about methotrexate all the time but have to just take it to get some relief from pain. I wish there was a cure for these dieases but it does not look like that is going to happen in the near future so we are here all the time for venting and support. Good luck with the tests. Love Bonita

SandyR
09-16-2010, 06:56 AM
I am glad to hear you are working with a doctor who is taking you and your symptoms seriously. When do you expect to hear back from her about your lab results? I know you really don't want to go to the hospital but a few days there away from the stress and excitement of all the things going on around you might be exactly what you need to help you feel better and finally kick this flare. I hope Stephen and the kids are all doing well. I know what you mean about the pity thing. It's the main reason I don't tell many people that I am sick at all or for those that know there is something going on alot don't know what it is, just that I seem to always have a dr's appointment and sinus infection. (((HUGS))) You won't find pity here. Only compassion. What did the dr say when you told her about how you feel?

kim,l
09-18-2010, 06:11 PM
all my disc are bulging and i have scoliosis still waiting for blood test have been placed on morphine for pain still waiting for other tests as well will keep you informed not sleeping well hugs kim l

magistramarla
09-18-2010, 08:40 PM
Hi Kim,
I am so glad that you finally have a doc who cares.
I agree with Sandy. A few days in the hospital might be the rest that you need. Just let them wait on you for a while.
We're all here to listen to you and we care.
Take care of yourself, and feel better!
Gentle hugs,
Marla