View Full Version : "hows the health"?

06-28-2010, 10:54 PM
So today I got asked "how's the health"? by a work collegue who knew I had been going through a difficult time with my lupus. I really stumbled over the answer, couldn't think of how to answer this question. It is such a big question but I don't think she realised it. I just kinda brushed it off then she asked it again in a different way and again I found it difficult to find the words to describe how my health has been. I didn't want to say "I'm fine, it's good" because it isn't and I do want her to realise that it has been difficult, but I also didn't want to go into all the ways it sucks and everything thats wrong because lets face it where do you start. Perhaps I just got caught off gaurd as I met her for a meeting not a personal chat.

How do others answer such questions? I can't seem to find the right words.

06-29-2010, 03:20 AM
I don't get asked much anymore, but when I do, my answer depends upon who's asking. If it's someone close, I usually tell them that I have my good days, and my bad days. I usually don't elaborate much. If it's a casual aquaintance, I just say "same stuff, different day". The only place I really go into detail on that question is here, because I know people will understand what I'm talking about.


06-29-2010, 04:01 AM
I'm glad you asked that question. I get asked the same question by all the people I know. I really like Rob's answer. It's a good one to use. I'm going to.......
Same stuff, different day........ same old, same old.......

Thanks Rob Great Idea!


06-29-2010, 07:15 AM
for me, it also depends on how close they are. I feel like my closest friends and family don't really understand/think I am complaining so for the most part I just say today is a good day or great day or ok day or not so good day, depending on the day. if they ask for more details I just say it's the usual rollercoaster of ok, bad, ok, good, great, not so great, ok, bad and today I am at such and such level. like Rob said, I only feel like my friend on here really understand that my joints ache most, if not all the time, and I am tired/exhausted most if not all the time and my memory is shot most if not all the time and sometimes those feelings make up a really good day.

Angel Oliver
06-29-2010, 06:41 PM
In the beginning i used to tell them the truth....seemed to take along time to answer such a short question:) People then asked less frequently....then my answer changed to a quick ok :) Sometimes it felt i culd hear them thinking of what they were having for dinner that night as i answered ...funny but not!! Now like Rob,Sandy and the others....noone asks me anymore...so i only tell people here.Im giggling to myself as i have just sent a 3 page message to someone here.....how funny, but i dont always do that lol...so dont be afraid to ask me lol.xxxxxx

06-29-2010, 08:08 PM
Thanks everyone for your responses.

I really like Robs "same stuff, different day". It is just sooooo hard to describe the roller coaster ride we are on to others, they just don't get it. I don't feel comfortable discussing it either, particularly as the person who was asking isn't exactly close to me. So a simple clear response like Robs would have been good. However, I do want people to understand more about this disease and what it's like, but I guess they can't truely know unless they have it. I guess that's why everyone posted that the only place they can truely say how they are is here on this forum.

Thank goodness for this forum.