View Full Version : Feel like I'm gonna loose it!!

06-08-2010, 02:03 PM
My husband has Lupus and he is going through a rough time at the moment. I have been a stay at home mom with my daughter since she was born a year ago. Looks like i am gonna need to go back to work to help out with the money situation. My fear is that he will no longer be able to keep his job due to his lupus. I'm afraid i cant support our family on my own!! Any women out there that are in a similar situation?? We both had the dream of playing our "roles" as husband and wife, that's no longer possible.

The stress is high and its frustrating... yet I cant get mad at him! He is an amazing person that has been thrown this battle... we have been thrown this battle. Just feel like sometimes I cant handle it and it makes me feel like a horrible person!!

Any support would just be helpful... any understanding!


06-21-2010, 08:03 AM
Hi Nicole,

(((HUGS))) I have to say - your husband is a lucky man to have you by his side. Being sick sucks and being surrounded by loved ones who understand that our bodies are already stressed and unable to do what we want and who try to make things easier because they love us and understand the situation really does help. We all hate that being sick means giving up dreams. We hate even more when our being sick affects the hopes and dreams of those who love us. It is devastating to be sick and have it affect those who love us in that way. It's bad enough we can't control our bodies and what they can or can't do and what dreams we can or can't achieve, but when our being sick affects those we love who aren't sick, it sucks and hurts more than being sick can hurt us.
You are not a horrible person. You are perfectly human and you are experiencing the grief associated with the loss of your dreams. You are dealing with your emotions and still standing by your husband. That is commendable. So many people cut us out of their lives or turn bitter or just are unwilling to educate themselves and understand that we are not faking being sick, we aren't wanting to be sick, we haven't chosen sick over our families our lives our dreams and hopes and careers. We didn't want this to happen to us or to you and you have come to such a wonderful place to find that support you need. Browse around the other boards on this site, check out the arcade when you need a minute or two of stress relief. Introduce yourself on the new members page (if you didn't already) and you will find that everyone on this page would love to meet and support you. There is another spouse on this site who's thread's you should search. His name is alovinghusband. I think you can identify well with him.

Angel Oliver
08-06-2010, 04:45 PM
Hi Nicole,

What a lovely wife you are !! Its human nature like Sandy said to feel how you do,but you really shouldnt.Many members here have experienced loss after diagnosis,so for you to love unconditionally is beautiful. I know lifes not as you planned it,but as time goes by you will cope,things will work out,just a little differently than you planned.Its going to be stressful,but you have each other still thats massive.Have you got insurance for health care and if it does come to it,you working again,could you maybe do some part time work at home maybe? There is help out there,its just knowing where to look,so hopefully members here may point you in the right direction.Other members will come and support you soon.So hang in there.Between us all we'll help you through this somehow.I am sorry your husband has Lupus and i do hope you are coping as best you can.So glad you found us.
lots of love