View Full Version : A Little Venting

02-09-2010, 05:19 PM
None of my healthy friends understand. Please - I'm only venting here - it's negativity - and you don't need to read... ugh. Just need to get this out.

I made less in ONE YEAR than my ex makes in one 2 week paycheck... and now that we're divorced (b/c he couldn't take being with a sick woman).... I'm just even more financially on my own and more without help or support than ever.

Today I swallowed my pride and finally went to ask for some assistance... I spent SIX HOURS (feeling sick) today waiting for some help today - general assistance while I'm waiting for my disability - which has been approved- but has yet to actually begin coming (the wait is another 6-8 months after approval usually) ... only to be told that I cannot qualify b/c I haven't quit school b/c I'm still enrolled for ONE credit hour... and b/c of that I cannot get it... though I'm disabled... then I asked to speak to a supervisor... at that point -no food - no water after 6 hours etc - I started crying - *projectile crying* and the supervisor told me that I should stop crying b/c my story sounds too unbelievable and that I seem disingenuous and she's disapproving me for any help or assistance or any temporary state aid b/c I seem like I'm lying b/c someone with my education etc should be able to take care of herself.

02-09-2010, 07:22 PM
It's OK Sugar, vent away!
It always seems to me that state agencies are willing to help some of the wrong kinds of people and very unwilling to help those who want to help themselves, but just need a little extra boost. While teaching, I overheard one young lady (still in high school) admit that she was pregnant with her second child so that she could get more aid, and that her older sister had even more children for the same reason. Those are the ones who get aid quickly!
My daughter is going through the same hoops right now, since she finally had the sense to leave her jerk of a boyfriend, but she has the added complication of having a 4 yr. old son.
I don't know if it is possible, but is there any way to go "over the head" of that supervisor? Do you have any friends or relatives to help until the disability comes through?
Good luck to you, and keep us updated.
Gentle Hugs,

02-10-2010, 06:55 AM
Hi sugar,

I am sitting here fuming.
Every day I see people with food stamps, in my place of employment and let me tell you, only ca. 30% of them really need it.
The rest just get it handed to them.
I see customers daily, who come in wearing $200 sneakers, wearing massive gold jewelry, having their hair done, having fake fingernails, all of them have a cell phone, tatoos(some of them are fresh), piercings ect.
And when I see, what they buy, I could flip out. It is mostly TV dinners, chips and other junk food, plus steaks and lobster.
They eat better than I do and I work my butt off, even though I have lupus and RA.
I am very sorry, that you are having such a hard financial time. And emotionell too.
There has to be a way, where you can get temporary help, until your disability kicks in.
Wishing you lots of luck.


02-10-2010, 07:20 AM
Thanks. I slept on it and realize that at this point I might just need to ask for more help. I'm really sick and my neurological cns is getting hit - so I'm having a hard time dealing with my own stress sometimes. On days like yesterday- a little venting worked. It wasn't ok or fair - but I stayed calm. I will see my rheumy tomorrow and the lupus support group here in atlanta and see if anyone has better advice. I have family in another state and I just might have to move home with them. I don't WANT TO - but at this point - with this much unpleasantness- I might need more support than a little foodstamps and financial assistance can give me anyway.

I've always tried to look on the bright side. Unfortunately- when the social workers are supposed to be our angels but end up being our worst nightmares it makes me want to give up anyway. meh. My little burst of negativity is over. All I can say is if you live in Atlanta, MOVE. Trying to get disability in Georgia is like trying to beat Vegas by playing the slots. *hugs all around*

Angel Oliver
02-10-2010, 11:26 AM
Oh wow, you keep posting here.I am thinking of you and hope you get all the help you need soon.


02-10-2010, 12:57 PM
Thank you so much Angel Oliver.


I try hard to use humor and de-stressing venues. Last night I realized that NO ONE of my "healthy" non-lupie friends was going to "get it." And it was late here in Atlanta so I realized that there wasn't anyone I could CALLLLL and cry to-- so I posted here... and went to sleep... then when I got up and saw some supported comments I felt better. And today is a new day-- and you know what-- it will work out. It might not be to my liking - but it will work out.

*more hugs*

04-08-2010, 01:04 AM
Hang in there; don't give up.

The fight here in california is awful and if your under 48 years old no matter what numerous illnesses you may have; you will never get it. My friend works at a local huge warehouse and states people come in and try to purchase non-food items (TV, cameras, etc.) with their food stamp electronic debit card. I was blown away. They are not allowed to; but always try it.

I will keep you in prayer.


04-21-2010, 05:09 PM
It's funny I am the positive one to the healthy friends because, you are correct, they are not going to get it. I cry quietly to myself or post here to vent when I don't know what else to do. You can't understand what we go through until you have gone through what we have

04-30-2010, 02:38 PM
You said it so eloquently. Vent away as I think we all do at different times in the disease. You are correct in that no one really understands it until they have walked in our shoes. I hope you are feeling well.

Take care,