View Full Version : terrible week
01-23-2010, 09:30 PM
hi everyone have not been in contact for over a week been very unwell have avirus at the moment has made me very unwell my body is so week having trouble walking and using my arms extreme headaches nausea dioreah whole body is swollen my blood pressure is 138/109 the depession is so severe and i have rashes on both arms and face the heat here has been shocking it has been 42 degrees here all week cannnot breathe my weight has been up and down am so depressed i have put on 35 kilos in ayear from medication and lack of exercise tried going to the pool that s okay can only walk or float due to pain have asked to be referred to obese clinic for help feel so ugly i am a very big person i digust myself always had weight issues due to thyroid and bowel problems with all the stress lately with mikaela having bad reaction to lumbar puncture and stephen has ross river fever back again and his dementia is getting worse and he is so moody he has to go for more tests for dementia this week and was at doctors today his lungs are playing up again having coughing fits and he is constanly sweating worried pheumonia is coming back. i just do not eat much so cannot understand why i can lose 5 kilos and then the next week am back to square one. my 45 birthday was thursday spent it in bed sick and depressed i am so down right now feel like i am in really dark place i even cried talking to doctor this morning am usually strong but am having trouble focusing cannot dress myself at the moment due to pain i am scared at how really down i feel right now i feel really hopeless but i also feel guilt because there are worse off people than me all those poor people in haiti and my uncle who has terminal cancer and is only expected to live a few months for the last 6 years i have lost amember of my family every year i am sorry for whingeing you all suffer so much and me carrying on is so selfish please forgive me thankyou all for being my friends you have made a difference to my life i would feel so alone without you many hugs of appreciation and love kim l
01-24-2010, 10:04 AM
Hi sweet Kim,
Happy belated birthday! I am sorry to hear that you didn't feel well enough to fully enjoy it. I see that life is not getting easier yet and I am sorry to hear that. I think this past week has been pretty rough on a lot of people, so you are not alone right now. I see that you didn't mention your son being there. Does that mean he's left? What about Sarah? How is she doing?
About your weight - true beauty is something that is within us. The way we look on the outside is not true beauty. You are are radient on the inside, so please don't say that you are an ugly person. You are not. I know you joined WW, and I am not sure if you are going to meetings, but one thing you learn at the meetings is that if you don't eat enough, you gain weight. I know that doesn't seem possible, but I know in my experience it has been true too. Go back to working the program. Taking control of one little thing will probably make you feel a lot better and if you can be in control of making sure that you are eating the right way, I am sure you will feel better. You will see that weight start to drop again. Don't worry about how intense your are excersizing right now. Going to the pool and walking it is better than not going at all. When you are feeling better, I know you will increase your intensity. I like to go dancing. I have weeks were I can go two or three times a week and feel great and then I have days like today and yesterday where I am in too much pain to consider even going at all. Work your good days. Work your meal plan. Just those 2 things will give you more energy and make you feel a lot less depressed. I can say this with the honesty of someone who has used these tools to help her when she is also feeling depressed.
Feel free to PM me if you would like. (((HUGS)))
01-24-2010, 10:52 AM
I am so sorry to hear that you are suffering so much and that your stress and depression are continuing. You are dealing with so much and being there for so many that you are not able to stop and take a moment to care for you!
I can understand how your weight issues can make you feel even more depressed, especially when your medications are contributing to the issue. You said that you asked for a referral to a weight clinic. Did you get that referral?
At some point, please try to take some time to see to your own needs? Is there someone that you can talk to who is qualified to help you deal with your depression and stress? I think that it might be worth while for you to seek some help in that area because you cannot get your physical body healthy if you are emotionally unhappy. I wish that there was something tangible that I could do to help you, but all that I can do is to offer you my understanding and my caring! Please know that you can come to us at any time to talk about your feelings, we are here for you.
Peace and Blessings
01-24-2010, 02:15 PM
You can always complain to us, dear, we understand. Take care of yourself, please. Keep asking to see those specialists about your depression and weight. If you feel better about yourself, you'll be better prepared to deal with your family.
How is Mikaela feeling now? When will you know the results from her tests?
I hope that things start to improve for you and your family soon.
01-24-2010, 11:27 PM
hi everyone thanks for kind words. sandy sarah is still up and down emotionally she is suffering from severe pain from endiometiosis that affects mental state. mikaela is still suffering headaches am waiting for more tests and appointment for child phycologist because of school bullying am frightened for her health as she returns to school on thursday from summer vacation fear for safety. joshua is still here have given him a month to find a job and 2months to move as long as behaviour is alright otherwise he will have to leave as i will no longer put up with his abuse. stephen is ill again cough is back and he is having trouble swallowing choking on food and is sweating and fevers doctors think ross river fever back again and his are lungs are bad goes for neurological tests wednesday. am in bad pain today. still no answer from goverment housing just keep on fobbing me off to different departments this is stressful just wish depression would ease am crying all the time feel like fight is going out of me trying to be positive but just hard now. hugs kim l
01-27-2010, 09:28 AM
I'm sorry I missed your birthday Kim. I'm sorry it wasn't a very happy one. ((((Hugs))))
How are things today?
01-27-2010, 05:16 PM
thankyou abbasgirl well day did not start off good my 2 little shitzu dogs are ill one with bowel blockage and the other with nausea and vomiting so we had to rush to vet came on suddenly they were alright a couple of days ago playing and happy my little boy dog has infection and my little girl dog has virus both being medicated. as for me i am still not well just bad flare and stress from everything causing depression still waiting to see how long my uncle has to live he went in with kidney troubles then got diagnosed with terminal skin cancer that has spread inside. i just do not know what to say to my aunty and my cousin and his little daughter my uncle is such a caring nice man and he has gone through so much with having kidney tranplant 5 years ago and constantly being on dialysis i donot have many family members left first i lost my grandmother my mothers mum then i lost my father inlaw and then my dads mum my other grandmother then ayear later father then the year after that my sister commited suicide and just before christmas my husbands aunty died and i loved her very much all this has happened within a space of 10 years is so depressing and with the worries i have with my health and stephens and my daughters mikaela and sarah it has just become a bit to much to handle and it is affecting my mental state at the moment but i must be strong my family needs me but i am just a little tired. thankyou for my birthday wishes and caring hope you are feeling alright hugs kim l have a great day
01-29-2010, 11:12 AM
I'm so sorry your dogs are sick too. ((((Hugs))))
Our family, including pets, are our "everything" and when something is wrong, the whole world is upside down until things are right again or we begin to heal from losses. When it pours problems, one after another after another...it's hard to recuperate when it just keeps coming at you. Kim, you are certainly allowed to feel tired sweetie...you have so much on your plate! ((((More hugs)))))
Keep hanging in there...even though it may not seem like it, things are going to get better and life will get more peaceful and healing will come.
Remember you have friends here that love you and care and are praying for you and your family. We're always here for you.