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kim,l
01-12-2010, 10:28 PM
well things did not go to plan tried to do lumbar puncture but she had bad reaction to nitro gas and her eyes started rolling back in her head and she went stiff they said her pupils dilated they had to stop she now is going back tommorow to be fully sedated as they said she was to nervous and being autistic made it worse so we are off to hospital again tommorrow couldbe there all day then we need to go back again on friday for her ultrasound. and right in the middle of this my eldest son rings up says he has an emergency needs to talk to me i told him his sister was my main priority and he said his was more important he wanted to come home and live because he was not getting on with his flatmatehe is so selfish i told him no that he was 23 and to grow up but he kept on ringing until i got mad and then he hung up on me. by then i was not well worrying about mikaela and on top of that i have kidney infection found blood in my urine but cannot see doctor till friday and when we finally got home i rang my mother to let her know how mikaela was and she informs me that my uncle has just been diagnosed with terminal cancer i can say it has not been one of my better days and this year is starting out really bad it just is never ending its like i am on a carouseland cannot get off just going around and around i was feeling good yesterday i weighed my self and had lost 4 kilos now i have become bloated and put on 3 kilos of fluid in 1 night i am trying so hard to lose weight and now this has sent me into spiral of depression please someone tellme i have hope of losing this weight and the medication is not going to constanly do this to me or is this also never ending sorry everyone just a little fed up with life right now thanks for listening to me gripe my friends i donot know what i would do if i did not have you all to talk to it is only my chats with you that keep me going love and hugs kiml

abbasgirl
01-13-2010, 09:46 AM
Oh Kim...this ride you've been on is going to improve...it can't stay like this and it won't. Try not to think of a new year starting out bad...just take things as they come, not keeping up with how and when they're happening. Or even that it's still happening, although that's very hard to do when you're going through each experience. A person can have so many bad things happen in their life that they begin to feel like maybe it's going to stay this way...you start to not want to hope because it drags you down even more.

I don't know if that advice helps any but it's how I've been dealing with things for a change and it's more comforting, I guess you'd say. Cant find the word for that...my brain froze. There for a while I was getting so gun shy when things would happen. It can rattle a person to their very core.

It may sound harsh and it is so very hard for a Mama to do, but I wouldn't answer the phone when your son calls. Or if it's him, just hang up. You and your family don't need that right now. He'll be fine and when things are more settled then talk to him. I'm sorry you had to go through that, that Mikaela had such a bad reaction and has to go thru that again, and you have so much bad news to pile on top. You're not griping at all sweetie. That's not griping. What your son is doing is griping. (((((Hugs))))

magistramarla
01-13-2010, 11:04 AM
Kim,
Things just have to start getting better for you. We're all sending good vibes your way. Just keep hoping that that these tests will finally point the docs in the right direction for helping Mikaela.
As for your son, I agree with Abbasgirl. You're just going to have to do the "tough love" thing with him. It's time for him to grow up and deal with his own problems. You can't keep on taking care of him, or he'll continue to get worse. You're right that Mikaela has to be your first priority right now.
I wish that I could be there to cook for you guys the way I did for my daughter and her hubby for a week. I know that you read the thread on raw foods where we talked about the Mediterranean Diet. I cook like that a lot, using fresh foods and basic ingredients. If you can do that, and avoid the highly processed junky foods, it would be healthy for you and your family. I think that I remember reading that you are on MTX, right? Do you also take folate supplements? I've found that I also crave natural folates - salads. I was never a big fan of salads until I started on the MTX, but now I devour them. If you're feeling those folate cravings, go with it. Fill up on salads - it's very good for you.
Take care of yourself and your family, honey. Keep us informed on how Mikaela is doing.
Gentle Hugs,
Marla

SandyR
01-13-2010, 07:20 PM
Kim -

I am sorry to hear about your uncle. Cancer is a horrible thing to watch a loved one deal with. If you want to talk about it, feel free to PM me.

I agree with Leslie and Marla - your son needs to learn to deal with tough times on his own. You have a lot of stressful things going on right now and he has not proven himself to be trustworthy or reliable, especially in times of stress and crisis. And with all that's going on, I don't want you to be more stressed or flared. He will have to learn to rely on himself in tough times if he is ever going to grow up so why not now?

Sorry to hear that Mikeala has to go back again. Poor thing must be exhausted of seeing doctors. I do hope tomorrow is the last of it for her and you finally get some answers.

Did Stephen go back for his consult and get a CPAP yet? I saw your PM but my foggy head seems to think he is still waiting on some answers too?

Sandy

Angel Oliver
01-13-2010, 07:23 PM
I am sorry this is short but to say im thinking of you all.

love
Amanda.xx

Samo
01-14-2010, 09:21 AM
Hi KimI,

I am sorry to hear that so many bad things are happening all at once. I always have hope that things will get better, they have to. Although I have never met you I wish I could be there to hold your hand. Sometimes all you need is the assurance that you are not alone...so remember, you are not alone. My thoughts are with you, it will get better.
Samo

Saysusie
01-14-2010, 01:01 PM
Kim;
It seems as if your stress will never end. I am so truly sorry to hear that you are still dealing with so much. I hope that Mikela's next procedure goes well and that your son figures out his life without causing you more stress and worry.
I am glad that you come to us to unburden yourself and I truly wish that there was more that I could do for you other than to be here for you.
Please know that I am praying for you and your daughter and hoping that this year's turmoil and stress ends very soon. Sending you hugs of understanding.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

kim,l
01-14-2010, 03:54 PM
Well mikaela had lumbar puncture yesterday still had bad reaction took them awhile to sedate her we didnot get home till late i had to stay up with her all night she was in severe pain she is sleeping n0w my son turned up on doorstep bags and all got chucked out of apartment no money i have given him 2 weeks to find new accomodation but have warned him if he starts any trouble he will be out wish i could be harder but i could not see him living on the street am really tired and sore and having bad headaches hugs kiml

abbasgirl
01-15-2010, 04:28 PM
I'm so sorry she still had a bad reaction, but now that's all over...when do you think you'll hear about the results?

I hear ya about your son...if they have no where to go, then it's not so easy to lock them out of the house. I think 2 weeks is more than enough time for him and letting him know up front that he'll be out quicker if he acts up is excellent way to handle that Kim.

Can you call the doc and ask for something to help with the headaches?

mountaindreamer
01-15-2010, 09:23 PM
hi kim,

i am so sorry that things are not any better with you and your family. I hope Mikaela is feeling better, and i sincerely hope that your son behaves himself for these two weeks.

sorry this is short, but just know that i am thinking about you and sending you tons of angels to watch over you and yours.