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ssingh
01-07-2010, 12:34 PM
would you get pregnant or for a male, father a child knowing that he has lupus and been on or are taking these hardcore medicines such as immune-suppressants and others things which could be bad for newborn? and knowing that this disease can be passed on genetically to next generation?
Comments please!

rob
01-07-2010, 02:16 PM
Well, if I were married and wanted children, I wouldn't let Lupus stop me. The popular theory is that Lupus is partially genetic, and I agree with that theory, as my mother has SLE. However, that has not been proven beyond a doubt, and if it is true, that's still no guarantee your child is going to have Lupus at some point. As a male, no, Lupus would not stop me.

Rob

ssingh
01-07-2010, 03:24 PM
thanks, other issue would be the medicines like cellcept and others of that family. Doctor do no advice to have kids while you are on it and you can not get off them. I guess it is the risk one has to take with high probability.

DrinkofWtr
01-07-2010, 06:24 PM
My father didn't know he had lupus but he fathered my brother and myself. I am glad he didn't know he had lupus when we were created. He may not of had kids if he had known he had it then. I might not of ever been born and I am glad I was born, even though I have lupus.

kim,l
01-07-2010, 07:04 PM
i agree with drinkofwater my mother has lupus and i have it but i am glad she had me just talk to your doctor . hugs kiml

Serenity81
01-07-2010, 07:36 PM
Well, I intend to have children at some point.. once I'm done with nursing school and we get my lupus under control. There are drug therapy options that aren't as harsh as chemo drugs. I've talked to my OB/Gyn and she seems ok with keeping me on the Plaquenil when the time comes.. it's best to keep flares under control while pregnant and the benefits of keeping flares to a minimum far outweigh the risks of the medication.

I think you just have to be educated, have a good team of doctors and consider all of the options before making these choices.

And the husband and I have discussed the option of adoption if we decide it's not the best option for me to get pregnant.

I wouldn't totally throw out the idea of having my own children though, just based on my illness.

kducks
01-07-2010, 10:59 PM
I guess I'm one of minority here. I chose not to have children and I am actually looking into the option of having my tubes tied at the age of 34. I was married and did not want children with my now ex husband. I am happily in a relationship with a man who like myself does not want children. It's not a easy decision to make, you have to decide for yourself how you feel about it. I helped raise my little brother who is twelve years younger than myself and have a almost 16 year old nephew I had a huge hand in raising, along with two other younger nephews. I was also a nanny for quite a few years, so I have done diaper duty among others big time. I feel like I have raised my kids in a way and I enjoy the "freedom" in my life. I also decided not to chance speading this disease on, I have seen too much pain myself and from others who lose children/grandchildren to this illness. Many didn't know they were sick until after they had children, so knowing what I do I chose not to have any. It's not a easy thing to decide on but the choice is yours ultimately in the end.

ssingh
01-08-2010, 11:31 AM
hi Kducks
I agree with you. I have 12 year old and I feel so bad sometimes from Lupus, I cannot even go to teacher meetings and not to mention playing and taking him to places is out of the question.

Oluwa
01-08-2010, 01:56 PM
I think if we knew what would be in the future of children before they were born, no children would be brought into this world.

Life without woes or risks is a life not lived.

I spoke with a woman, who knew two women both with Lupus who said they never felt better than while being pregnant. I went, "Really?" So, who is to say, statistics? You just may not be apart of that statistic.

Don't feel guilty for having Lupus, missing plays, games and etc. There are others ways to interact, to make children feel acknowledge and loved. Be creative instead of stressing over guilt.

Be well.
Love,
Oluwa

Nonna
01-08-2010, 08:47 PM
Hi, all I can add is that both my kids are in their thirties and are very healthy. No sign of anything wrong at all. You can't stop living and hoping just because you have Lupus.

Nonna

Live Life to the best and the fullest. It's all you have.

Leksie
01-08-2010, 09:09 PM
I have been trying to have children since before my Lupus diagnosis and I refuse to stop trying just becauseof it. Knowing what I know now after two pregnancy losses, all I can say is that there is a time to try and a time to let your body heal. Pregnancy works best when Lupus is inactive, they say preferably for 6 months prior to conception. I wouldn't want to be pregnant if I had to also take meds that can harm my baby. But everyone is different and the choice is always your own. I am now almost 5 months and have been taking plaquenil and aspirin the entire time. So far so good. As far as the risk of my child having lupus, no one in my family has lupus so I feel my case is more environmental so I dont really worry about passing it on, although this still would not prevent me from trying because the risk is minimal to me. Hope this helps.

ssingh
01-09-2010, 11:55 AM
It is perfectly safe if you are taking plaquenil and aspirin. good luck!

rob
01-09-2010, 01:15 PM
I think if we knew what would be in the future of children before they were born, no children would be brought into this world.

Life without woes or risks is a life not lived.

I spoke with a woman, who knew two women both with Lupus who said they never felt better than while being pregnant. I went, "Really?" So, who is to say, statistics? You just may not be apart of that statistic.

Don't feel guilty for having Lupus, missing plays, games and etc. There are others ways to interact, to make children feel acknowledge and loved. Be creative instead of stressing over guilt.

Be well.
Love,
Oluwa

Well said!

SandyR
01-09-2010, 02:47 PM
If I was in a commited relationship and had the opportunity, I would definately have kids if I were able to. If my child had my inherited my disease, I am sure I would feel guilty, but I would hope that my experiences would help them to deal with theirs better and that they would feel how DoW and kiml feel.

DrinkofWtr
01-10-2010, 03:08 PM
I forgot to add that I think my 28 year old daughter has lupus, too. But she doesn't want to be tested for it, so I don't know for sure. She does display some of the symptoms of it though.

Spanglishqueen
01-11-2010, 07:12 AM
Congrats Leski good luck on your pregnancy!!! :fam21:As for becoming pregnant wtih AI/lupus I do believe it's a personal choice. I would not do it now because of my energy levels if they ever improve and I'm in a relationship in which we both want children I may consider it. Since I am divorced now partly because of the AI, I'm just living my life the best I can and enjoying it and have no desire for children or marriage anymore. But no one knows the future just one-step at a time. I will not let this disease make the decisions for me.:cute:

gina
01-11-2010, 10:49 AM
I didn't know i had lupus when i had my child. but i tell you i felt better being pregnant didn't know why was tease of being italian and we were made to have lots of children.

i do understand missing games and meetings also because i have dont that too. i have no regrets having my child and if i knew i still would. children are a blessing and you don't know if they would get it or not so i would take my chances if i choose to have children.

chaotic mom of 4
01-11-2010, 11:01 AM
I was diagnosed with SLE in October 2008 and have had many struggles with this disease. I have been sick for a long time, but I'm glad I have a name for it. My 4 beautiful children and husband try to understand what I'm going through, but can't. I don't regret having my children, they are the reason I continue to fight this disease everyday. Everyone has the right to their own opinion and who's to say what is right or wrong. Take care and God bless you.

tiggerlishus - Heidi
01-13-2010, 02:51 PM
what an interesting subject i wonder about this question everyday swing from one answer to the other depending on how i feel that day!
deep down i know i want kids more than anything and when i get swept of my feet by some hunk and settle down who knows!!
at the moment i am on the band wagon of not going tolet lupus stopping me having a life!! and that at least if my child has it can be detected from an early age and get more help!
but who know how i will feel tomorrow!

ritzbit
01-13-2010, 02:58 PM
Im only 17 so kids are nowhere in my near future (not for like 10 years lol) but I would never let this disease stop me from having a child. I come from a relatively big family and I want the same thing. I know a lot of people who think that I shouldnt even consider having kids but I have faith that I would have the right doctors to keep me and a baby safe and healthy. Congrats Leksie by the way =)