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hippimom2
08-27-2005, 06:35 AM
I've been debating quitting my job due to all the pain fatigue, and fevers I have. I'm really struggling with this issue and wanted some advice/feedback on this issue. The upside to my job is that I only work 3 days a week and for the most part I enjoy what I do. I work with kids who have been through abuse or trauma and although I love working with the kids my job is also VERY stressful and I spend a lot of my weekend recovering and resting so I can go to work the next week.

I wish I knew if I would be able to control my symptoms more if I stayed home and have more energy and time for my own kids. I also worry about feeling isolated and getting depressed if I quit work. I live in a rural area and my nearest friend is a 20 minute drive which I am sometimes not up to. I know I ultimately have to make my own decision, but would love some of your thoughts on this. Thanks.

Katalanta
08-27-2005, 07:18 AM
Well, lack of energy and presence of pain can take up a lot of your time.

If you were to quit working outside the house, would you be able to to do something in the house that increases your energy?

You know what your body is capable of and what you can realistically handle. My only suggestion would be that if you do decide to stay home, plan some way to keep your mind active and have things to look forward to. Maybe a social group or book club or something that meets every week or two?

hatlady
08-27-2005, 11:17 AM
Katalanta gives good advice.

Can you find some way to release stress from the job without leaving the job? I would think that the things you do for others can be very fulfilling as well. Is there an EAP that you can go to -- to find a way to relieve stress that works for you. Possibly yoga, meditation, reading, I don't know, paintball!

Only you know your pain and fatigue level. If it is in the way of doing your job and you're not serving the needs of those who need you, you may need to consider leaving or changing what you do. If you can no longer recharge without taking too much time away from those you love at home, again, maybe you need to make changes.

Giving of yourself to others can be very rewarding. But giving to yourself is necessary as well. Finding a balance is what we all spend a lifetime doing. Talking here helps me, I hoep it helps you as well!

hippimom2
08-27-2005, 03:54 PM
Thanks katalanta and hatlady. It's just a difficult decision. You are right hatlady that I get a lot of fulfillment from my job by giving back to others and I would miss that. And katalanta you are right that I would have to find something fulfilling to do at home. I used to write a lot and haven't done anything for years.

I probably won't decide anything too quickly, but I hope I get it figured out in the next 6 mo to a year. I keep telling myself that I will know when I need to quit.

Amanda109
08-27-2005, 09:00 PM
All I can say, is I was home for 7 months, and it killed me.
Somedays I felt bad, and in the last couple months, I felt better.
I couldn't wait to work. It just, killed me.

Good luck to you.

butterfly11
08-28-2005, 11:50 AM
I feel the same way as you, hippimom. My mom and grandma thinks I should go on disabiltiy. I have a very stressful job. I currently work at Cingular Wireless and I stand up for 9 hours a day. Sometimes I feel so fatigue and pain. Right now I'm at work and I am having really sharp pains in my chest. I had to ask my manager if I can bring a chair becasue the chest pains feel better when I'm sitting down.

I know I probably should consider disability but I always feel guility. I always feel like everyone sees me as being lazy but in reality I'm not, I'm just always tired (my body). I feel like I'm 20 years old, I can handle it, I can do it but sometimes I just wish others around me knew what I have to go through.

Hippimom my advive would be just what hatlady said, "Only you know your pain and fatigue..." When making a decision think about YOU. We all tend to think about others around us instead of thinking of ourselves. :(

ClaireMacl
08-29-2005, 01:56 AM
I'm sorry to hear your illness is making you more ill :(

My dad had to stop working aged 33, I once said I couldn't imagine having to stop working so young, but with the symptoms I currently am putting up with and having no choice but to go for complete rest on my days off, I can completely understand now and I'm 31!

My work have noticed how tired and sick I am becoming, they know I am up to the job, even though being a senior emergency nurse is one of the most stressful out there... but thankfully I know I have their support, one of the Matrons said to me the other day that if I have to change my shifts to short ones instead of 12 hours or just alter the patterns, she would be more than happy to do so. I was so happy to hear that, though I'm not sure I'm ready to accept that I may have to do that.

I hope either your work comes up with an alternative that suits your body or, even better, that you soon feel well enough to continue :)

Best of luck,

Claire x

andyman
08-29-2005, 04:10 AM
A number of years ago I went off onto disability for a year due to the trouble I was having with Lupus. I would only recommend it if being off work is really going to better your condition. At the time I went on disability, for me, it was necessary. I was on very high doses of Prednisone not handling it well at all. I really needed to go. Not only was I feeling terrible, I was making everyone else miserable.

Here are the things that I would do if faced with that situation again.

I would give myself a target of when I would go back to work. An actual date. I would then take a look at what I had to do to accomplish that and that would be my priority and I would work on it everyday unti it was pulled off.

Everyone has to have a game. One key thing that you mentioned is your writing. Definitely get onto that. Having something creative to do makes all the difference in the world. Who knows, maybe you could write some really cool things about your experiences with the kids you work with and get yourself published!

Andyman

hippimom2
08-29-2005, 12:25 PM
Thanks so much everyone for your thoughts on this difficult decision. I think it's so scary because it could be really great for me or I could hate it and regret quiting. I'll get it sorted out one of these days.

SoleSinger
08-29-2005, 01:08 PM
Well, I think in this situation if you left and decided that you wanted to go back they'd probably be more than happy to take you back, no? What about just taking a sabbaticle until you decide what you want to do? Is that an option where you work?

polly pop
09-16-2005, 08:58 AM
I know what you are going through. I am suffering from severe fatigue, pericarditis, costo chrondritis, and probably some depression.

I am also trying to go to school part-time which is making matters worse. I already cut back to part-time at my job, but I'm still missing a lot of work. I can't really afford not to work, and I am afraid that once I do stop working I won't get approved for disability. So I'm stuck in a limbo state in which I don't know which way to go.

After today I really am more seriously considering quitting. I'm tired of having to explain my condition and getting odd stares from the people I work with. I'm to the point of exhaustion, and if something doesn't turn around soon, I think I'll blow my lid.

So I think in the end just do what you feel is right.

polly

P.S. If someone has any tips on how I could win my disability, IF I file it, I would greatly appreciate it.

andyman
09-16-2005, 05:56 PM
Polly:

My heart is out to you. I had to go off work about 13 years ago. Now each sate is different so you would have to check in your state. In California it's the Employment Development Department.

From what I recall I basically told my doctor what I was going through and got his agreement to write something up that I needed to be off work. I submitted that with the claim and got on disability. Then every so often the doctor had to fill out a form and I had to submit it.

As I said, each state is different.

I will tell you this. Being off work sounds good theoretically and at the time it was the best decision for me. However, do yourself a favor and only utilize that avenue if you really need to. You will feel so much better if you are productive. However, with the stuff we put up with having this disease, sometimes you just have to take a break and get things under control.

I hope that helps.

Andyman

mviceroy
10-10-2005, 02:00 PM
My suggestion is to go on disability, focus on getting better, spend time with your kids, REST and when you are feeling better, do some volunteer work at a church or hospital.

Missy
10-24-2005, 08:35 AM
I can only speak to what I've done - I also previously worked with children in a social service capacity. I love kids, but I was never sicker than when I worked with kids, and I didn't even have lupus yet! I had to stop working for a year due to lupus, and it was the best thing I ever did. I do not have children, and I was in a new town and somewhat isolated like you - 20 minutes to town. I got lots of support from family and friends on the phone, even though they were in another state. I slept A LOT and I met people by walking my dog. This was a gentle way to get out and feel active. I also volunteered to start a lupus support group once a month. I started cooking and really enjoy that hobby now and knitting a bit. I credit my dog for helping me through the hardest of times (oh, yeah, and my husband, too, but really he was at work during the day while I was feeling sorry for myself and guilty for being a burden).

Now, I work part-time with adults in a social service agency. They are very understanding when I don't feel well, and I have every Friday off, which helps.

Good luck in your decision-making process!

lupusgirl
10-25-2005, 10:00 AM
Hi

I recently had the same problem, I was working 40 hour work week and I would find myself having to sleep all weekend just to recover, and the pain and fatigue and all the other fun stuff was a killer. I too loved my job and what I was doing but I knew for my health and sanity I just couldnt continue a 40 hour work week. It was so bad, but I had to make that choice. I think the best thing to do is to really think about it, dicuss it with family and friends, and see from there, it took me a whole year to decide to quit my job, but now that i'm finishing off my last week I'm kinda sad to leave i know i'll cry the last day and everyone is super super great which makes leaving even harder, but I know that I need to and i'm looking forward to the much needed rest.

I hope you find your way, Good luck and take care!!