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alovinghusband
12-13-2009, 07:22 PM
My wife has SLE ,lupus nephritis,has had a stroke she lost most of the use of her right arm ,has high blood pressure,and now i think she may be crazy...no really she is talking about babies ,her doctor has told us because of the high levels of cytoxin that they gave her and the cellcept shes on that it was a bad idea ,recently she came with me for a few days while i worked and she had two episodes where she just falls out and hits the floor and is completely out of it ,it takes me a while to get her revived ,and this may be too much info but she hadnt had her period for like 7 months after her stroke and now that it has returned she thinks its a sign....i am against it because i dont believe that she could cope with a baby but also i usually dont refuse her after almost losing her about a year ago actually she has always been spoiled just more so after the stroke,also if i bring this up she thinks im being mean but we still owe the hospital and doctor and air_evac and ambulance and the list goes on and without her working and her doctors visits and medicine it is alot to deal with sorry to burden you just if you have any advice i would like to hear it ,thanks

magistramarla
12-13-2009, 07:45 PM
Hi Lovinghusband,
It's good to see you back! You sound as though things are somewhat better than the last time you were here.
My first thought is that the meds and/or stress is what is suppressing your wife's periods. Stress can really mess us ladies up. In this case, it's a good thing - her body is saying that it already has enough to deal with, so it's shutting down the baby factory for now.
If you read some of the threads here about lupus and pregnancy, you will learn that some of the young ladies can and do have healthy children after their diagnosis. I'm with you, though. She needs to give her body lots of time to heal first, and work with the docs about making sure that any drugs that might be dangerous for a fetus are out of her system.
I know how strong the desire for a baby can get. I used to get pretty insistent with my hubby, and we wound up with five! It might soothe her if you agree that you want a baby very much, too, and that you will agree to try when the docs give the OK, or when she's completed enough PT to be able to use the arm, or whatever time goal you want to put in place.
She's probably mostly feeling insecure right now. She probably loves you, and wants to give you a normal family life, and right now, she's feeling that will never happen. She needs you to keep reassuring her that you're going to be there, no matter what.
As I remember, you're in Missouri, right? I grew up near St. Louis - Wood River, Ill. My DH and I went to St. Louis University, and we also lived in Columbia, Mo. while he worked on his EE degree. I love that state.
I wish you lots of luck.
Gentle Hugs to both of you,
Marla

alovinghusband
12-13-2009, 08:21 PM
Hi Lovinghusband,
It's good to see you back! You sound as though things are somewhat better than the last time you were here.
My first thought is that the meds and/or stress is what is suppressing your wife's periods. Stress can really mess us ladies up. In this case, it's a good thing - her body is saying that it already has enough to deal with, so it's shutting down the baby factory for now.
If you read some of the threads here about lupus and pregnancy, you will learn that some of the young ladies can and do have healthy children after their diagnosis. I'm with you, though. She needs to give her body lots of time to heal first, and work with the docs about making sure that any drugs that might be dangerous for a fetus are out of her system.
I know how strong the desire for a baby can get. I used to get pretty insistent with my hubby, and we wound up with five! It might soothe her if you agree that you want a baby very much, too, and that you will agree to try when the docs give the OK, or when she's completed enough PT to be able to use the arm, or whatever time goal you want to put in place.
She's probably mostly feeling insecure right now. She probably loves you, and wants to give you a normal family life, and right now, she's feeling that will never happen. She needs you to keep reassuring her that you're going to be there, no matter what.
As I remember, you're in Missouri, right? I grew up near St. Louis - Wood River, Ill. My DH and I went to St. Louis University, and we also lived in Columbia, Mo. while he worked on his EE degree. I love that state.
I wish you lots of luck.
Gentle Hugs to both of you,
Marla

I read somewhere that you had something where your ears ring and you get vertigo,my wife LeeAnn has that before she goes down she will say her ears are ringing and some times she will stand up and then sit back down says she has to come back to earth,I remember reading it on here somewhere just couldnt find it again,when it happened when she went to work with me its like she is almost Unconscious and sweating and clammy to the touch ....i do want a baby but my priority is her ,one time someone told me when we first got married to buy her a puppy when she starts talking babies,now we have 4 grown shihtzus, 3 shihtzu puppies(hopefully gone by Christmas) a akita,a german shepherd,australian shepherd,black lab,and 2 cats, but at least the horses,pigs,ferrets,and rabbits are gone

magistramarla
12-13-2009, 08:30 PM
Yes, I was diagnosed with Meniere's Syndrome long before the AI dx. It is an inner ear problem, and it is neurological. It does cause vertigo, ringing and just plain weird sounds in the ears, and gradual hearing loss. It can be diagnosed by an otologist.
Your wife has had some neurological symptoms, so it might make sense that something like Meniere's could be bothering her.
Your household sounds like ours was before we moved to California. Our kids kept bringing home critters, then when they moved out, the critters stayed. We had to force the adult kids to take some pets and I had to find a home for my son's sweet black lab before we moved. We're living in military housing now, so we're limited to two pets. My hubby and I each have a beloved cat.
Marla

alovinghusband
12-13-2009, 08:40 PM
Thanks i will look that up and she has a doctors appt for dec 21 so well mention it to her doctor,i am always on pins and needles with her i always feel like its just a fairy tale that shes doing somewhat ok and everyday when she doesnt pick up the phone on the first ring im like oh no whats happened now im in albuquerque tonight start testing rail road tracks west tomorrow,maybe make arizona by friday,then three weeks off and a week of training then a week off then back to the old rountine,thanks for your reply

mountaindreamer
12-14-2009, 08:40 AM
hi alovinghusband,

so glad to see you back, but so sorry that LeeAnne is having such a tough time. I know this is not a laughing matter, but your listing of all of the dogs that you have bought in an effort to ease her desire for children, made me chuckle...thanks for the morning laugh.

I agree with marla, support her need for children, but let the dr. be the one to say when it is ok. My daughter who just recently survived breast cancer became pregnant. We were so worried about her ability to carry and deliver the baby, but she is thrilled. She feels like this is a sign that her body is ok, and being pregnant brings life back into her. Scarey for us, but she is thrilled. The drs. say she should be fine, so we have to be strong around her, but i a very frightened.

Your wife may need to feel like there is life in her body, because she has been through so much that she feels like the life is gone. Again, i would encourage her to get the ok from her rheumy as well as the obgyn.

As i have said before, she is so fortunate to have you....i hope you take the time to give yourself some thanks.

abbasgirl
12-16-2009, 11:32 AM
You're a super husband!

I agree with others here...I'd go with what the doctor suggests and after plenty of time to consider everything.