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smokerscat94
12-03-2009, 09:21 AM
I am having a tough time right now as my medications haave not kicked in yet. My Rhuemy called me in for an appointment immediately. So I see him tomorrow. As many of you know I have had a tough time lately. My joints hurt all the time, my feet and hands are either on FIRE and swollen or FREEZING COLD and swollen. The fibro is horrible in my shoulder blades, my hair is falling out ALOT. Now my scalp is covered in sores, it feels like raw hamburger. So I called my rheumy yesterday and told the nurse what was going on. He apparently thinks am not responding to the plaquenil like he had hoped. He is thinking of changing my meds AGAIN!!! UGH!! My hubby and I really want to have kids, and he is quite a bit older than me which if fine, but if I have to take something else, what if I have to be on it for a while and can't conceive on that medication or have to get it completely out of my system like I had to do with the mtx. It took a year before we could even try to conceive? I am a little worried we may have to have a decision for the doctor on weather or not we are going to try for a baby. OR GIVE UP and take care of myself! HARD DESCISION!! Sorry I am kind of rambling my brain isn't functioning so well this morning. Hope you enjoy this site and sorry about the sle! It kind of boils down to, MY HEALTH, OR a BABY!! :hissyfit:

We both really want a child, and no way in heck we could adopt, we are both on social security. How could we afford an adoption? I am so worried, frustrated and scared. I really want a baby, but I don't want to feel like THIS anymore either....? I just don't know what to think or do? HELPPPPPPPP?

debbie-b
12-03-2009, 09:41 AM
I can totally understand, where you are coming from.
As a fellow lupie, I have to say, take care of yourself, as a woman I would think like you and go for the baby. BUT you need to work with your doctor and listen to what he has to say. You can not risk your health or even your life to have a baby.
I wish the best for you and your husband.

Debbie

magistramarla
12-03-2009, 10:03 AM
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Children are a joy, and I know that you don't want to miss out on that experience, but your health is important, too. Have a long talk with both your rheumy and your OB/GYN and make some wise decisions.
Marla

smokerscat94
12-03-2009, 10:06 AM
Thank you Debbie! This really is hard for me... I really want to have a baby, but I have been through hell and back the last few years. I think this is probably one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.... My hubby says I have to be the on to decide, because it's my body... which is sweet, but This is hard... Thank u for your support

smokerscat94
12-03-2009, 10:15 AM
thanks mag,

I will definately have a long discussion with my rheumy. I already did with my obgyn. he wants me to be completely out of my flare for at least 6 mo before trying. I love my husband so much. He is 26 yrs older than I am and that doesn't usually bother me, but in this case I don't want to put off conception any longer than I have to. I want our child to have a dad. My hubby is going to be 58 next year. We don't want to wait!!!! You know? he said he would support me either way I choose. I love that man! :) so much!!!

I am just having alot of probs and am having a hard time dealing with them. I haven't even been to bed yet... Ambien DOES'NT WORK FOR ME.... opposite affect!!! :( I am so tired but just can't sleep!!!! All I do is sleep when I can which is mostly during the day and early evening and sit at this darn computer.... That's all I have energy for!! UGHHHHH!!! So sorry to be feeling so sorry for myself when I know everybody on here has problems too. Just plain FRUSTRATED!!!!!!!!

pandagirl
12-03-2009, 02:43 PM
Smokerscat...I know everyone is probably putting in there 2 cents all around you but I have to say..you need to be well to handle the riggers of motherhood. It is a great joy and a lot of work..I had one child in my 20's and one at age 35..I can tell you having my Lup symtoms really start when my younger one was about 2 was a challenge sometimes..it was long before my dx but keeping up with a little one can be exhausting on the best of days..then when she was 5 I needed lower back surgery. You never go into the joy of motherhood thinking of the things that can happen to you, but you definitely have to be up tp the challenge. There is always adoption as an option. I am sure you will know what is right for you. I hope your husband will support what ever decision you feel is best.

SandyR
12-03-2009, 06:58 PM
Smokers,

I hope that your dreams and wishes come true. Having a baby is something I would like to one day experience too and I can empathize with you and your husband. Like you, my OBGYN would want me flare free for 6 mos. Seems like a really tall order when we are in a flare, but it will seem like the blink of an eye once you hold that child in your arms.

Sandy

abbasgirl
12-04-2009, 08:37 AM
Wish we could all be sitting around you right now, offering kleenexes, chocolates, and real hugs. Although the chocolate may make your insomnia worse now that I think about it...but we could find something soothing that wouldn't make the sleeping situation worse.

You really need your rest and I'm praying you not only get it but also a healthy body and the blessing of children. I'm so glad you have a supportive sweet hubby.

Don't apologize for anything. You have a lot on your plate and feeling the way you do is normal and expected. We don't think you're feeling sorry for yourself. Please don't look at yourself that way.

If the Ambien isn't helping, the doc needs to figure out what else to try.

Sometimes I get desperate and take my atarax for sleep. It was given to me for times when the itchies are too much for me to take, but it's also given as a treatment for anxiety. Sometimes it knocks me out. Each person has their own body chemistry and sometimes it changes a little... so something that works for one person won't work for another... and sometimes what usually works for us suddenly isn't working so great. Sometimes atarax does nothing for me and I'm more tired plus suffering with insomnia. Sometimes it puts me out and then the next day I drag around worse and with a bad dry sinus headache...but I got some sleep. There are other things to try and just keep at it, SCat... sooner or later you'll find something that works and will be able to rest.

smokerscat94
12-06-2009, 09:39 AM
Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement!! :) You all put a smile on my face! I saw my rheumy yesterday. I was having some scalp rashes and he wanted to see it so I dorve all the way to spokane 3hr drive for him to look at my scalp. Good news it's not the discoid rash. He said he thinks it's probably just a regular rash. I had the malar rash when I saw him and I told him I didn't have the rash before I went to walmart before my appointment. After I came out of walmart I had the rash. He told me to wear a hat and sunblock. The scalp rash could be from walmart too, as my hair has gotten so thin. He raised my prednisone up to 60mg again. He said that should make me feel alot better until the plaquinel kicks in. I sure hope so!

ElyMiller000
12-06-2009, 12:17 PM
you have to take care of yourself first. Imagine the problems that could occur from all the meds and being pregnant. Also, if you're successful with a pregnancy but don't handle your health- it would be horrible for a child to grow up with a sick mother. That can cause further financial problems and so on. I understand that you want a kid but its important to be stabilized first.

smokerscat94
12-06-2009, 01:20 PM
I agree! thanks for the advice!