View Full Version : One More Thing

08-22-2005, 04:10 PM
Gosh, I've posted a lot on this board.

And here's one more thing to throw onto the pile...

Is anybody else struggling with the question of what they did wrong? Should I have gone to the doctor earlier? Should I have taken that sinus problem seriously? Eaten more fruits and vegetables? Should I have cleaned the house better? More often? Had fewer pets? Had different pets? etc. etc. etc.

What did I do wrong that prompted this body of mine to turn the autoimmune system on high and forget to turn it off the way I sometimes do with the garden hose when I'm watering the rosebushes?

08-22-2005, 07:58 PM
Yeah, I'm with you on that one!!!

I don't have ANY family history or links to lupus or any other autoimmune disease...

Sometimes, I wonder if it happened because of all the self destructive things I did to myself as a teenager, and now my body is saying "Forget you!! I'm gonna do whatever I feel like!"

Or maybe I have bad Karma or something...

But, I don't know... I don't think it probably is any of those things, though... And, it probably would have happened whether you went to the doctor earlier or not... But, they might have caught it earlier and it might not have been in the stage it is now... But, it probably still would have happened...

Or maybe if you had gone earlier it might not have shown up at all and still would have come when it did....

It's hard to know... I wonder how long lupus is typically active BEFORE you start having symptoms... Or is THAT different for everyone, too? Does anyone know?

08-23-2005, 03:49 PM
Yeah, I've done the whole wondering game myself. I wonder if I abused my body too much in my youth. I also know that I have never been the same since I had mono when I was 18. Doctors brush me off when I say this, but even before lupus became evident, I had time periods where my body would crash and my blood count would get screwed up. Then I'd get better and be up and running again. I think one of the frustrating things about lupus is that no one knows why we get it.