View Full Version : I need an opinion on this

10-16-2009, 10:12 AM
Lets see where to start.... the other day my husband had to go to court no big deal it was over his child support... was getting it reduced... I went to court with him even though I am not allowed in the court room, when he got there he handed me his cell phone since he could not have it in the court room with him....

well while he was in court he received a strange txt message on his phone, I didn't think much of it and looked at it when I didn't reconize the number or the name that came up.... My husband is a bad speller and the name was spelled mikelee, anyway the txt message read in call cap letters (LOVE BALD HEAD) that was all it said.... Now my first thinking was what the hell.... and yes my husband has a bald head... but why would someone txt that.... I didn't say anything right then about the txt message.... but i keep thinking about it all day wednesday.... trying to figure out how I could find out about it...

that night there was a conversation that my husband started about love and how much he loved me and so on which seemed wired to me talking about how much he would not cheat on me and so on... so I got to thinking about it... now I may be wrong in what I did next but I had to figure out what was going on. so when he was not looking I checked his phone again... the message was back on his phone... I deleted the first one so that person must have sent it again.....I went on line and looked at the phone records to see if I could figure out what was going on... saw there were txt messages from this person but did see that there were also no replies back to them....but did discover that there was phone calls made from my husband to this person...

I let it go until yesterday... I ask him if he had been talking to someone that i didn't know about.... here's his answer to it.... there is no one in my phone that you don't know about, oh wait i just put michaels number in there, now I know a micheal he should have his number ask if it was him, no it was not him, he tried to tell me it was this other guy that we know... ok here's where the story does not make sence to me... the number was not a local number it was out of hinesville ga.... the guy he is talking about lives close by and has been in this area for awhile and secondly if it were a guy why would he txt message love bald head... later on we got back into the conversation about the fact that the guy he was saing was in his phone had called him but the day my husband says that the guy called I had his phone that day all day, and check the phone records and didn't see where that person called at all that day....

then today my husband came home from work for lunch when he did he changed clothes and took a shower dressed up to go back to work... odd in my thinking... was ask about it and was told that he thought he smelled bad and didn't want to go out smelly.... he also took a change of clothes with him and right before he left he called someone and went out side so I could not hear what was said... I checked the phone records again and it was the same number....

sould I let this go or keep trying to figure out what is going on?????
any opinions would be nice.....

10-16-2009, 10:35 AM
OMG Leaann, im so SORRY for this stomach-turning rollercoaster ride you are on. Its gut wrenching to actually KNOW whats GOING ON hun. A womans intuition is almost ALWAYS DEAD ON. I read about WOMENS INTUITION and the man that wrote it said "if only women WOULD LISTEN to their RED FLAGS and NOT question them when they have that QUESTION and/or THOUGHT going on in their heads". He said WOMEN are more in tuned to things than men are, we are literally BUILT that way, BUT they IGNORE what is going on (and what they question in their minds) BECAUSE we doubt ourselves too much, which just hurts us in the end in one way or another.

You are talking about it because you want confirmation from an outside party, BUT YOU ALREADY KNOW the TRUTH. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, well, you know the rest. DONT DOUBT WHAT YOU KNOW IS THE TRUTH. EVERYTHING you explained says RED FLAG,RED FLAG,RED FLAG. Hes NOT going to admit to anything he CAN EXPLAIN AWAY with WORDS right now. YOU have to LISTEN to YOURSELF and what is OBVIOUS. REREAD what your thread says, pretend its someone else, now WHAT would YOU THINK about it if it WASNT you. You said in your own words hun how so many things DONT ADD UP. Ive been in your place a long time ago AND WE DONT WANT TO FACE THE REALITY OF IT even though its SCREAMING at us. He will NEVER admit to anything he THINKS he can TALK his way out of. He wants YOU to believe his "STORY" because you havent TALKED to this person and/or walked in on something going on between them. Those things are PROOF he KNOWS he cant wiggle his way out of. HE WILL WIGGLE as long as he THINKS you're buying it.

GOOD LUCK and im here if you need me:cute: GENTLE HUGS XXXXXX

10-16-2009, 10:54 AM
I have been down this road before with him like I tell him I alway know what's going on and sometimes I even know before he does.... he says it strange how I know... He says it's almost like I am standing there when the phone numbers are exchanged....

It is just upsetting to me.... the last time he was caught talking to someone was about 2 years ago...the women stopped talking to him when she found out he was married.... she even told me that she thought that it was odd that he would not come see her and only talked on the phone at certain times...

I just know in my heart that he is talking to someone again, I told him he was acting strange and he said it was stress... I understand that he is under alot of stress... usually he gives it a few days and then spills the beans he has never been one to keep it to himself... we don't usually keep things from each other if we do it usualy comes out fairly quick...

I told him if I had to deal with another women he better run and run fast because I am not going through it again...He's making a big joke out of it... saying things like oh yeah like I got a girlfriend who would want me I am broke and have no money and I am fat and blad... he makes me so mad when he says stuff like that....

just don't know what to think about it... He loves drama and I knew that when I met him, but sometimes enough is enough....

I can't take it anymore....

10-16-2009, 11:22 AM

You just said SO MUCH MORE in this last post as well. "HE LIKES DRAMA" and "HES DONE THIS BEFORE", I believe YOU just answered your own question on whats going on (AGAIN). You FEEL "IT" in the pit of your stomach, dont IGNORE "IT" , AND, DONT let HIM TALK his way out of "IT". On top of its JUST NOT RIGHT to do THIS to YOU, YOU are also ill, THIS DOES NOT HELP your illness ANY thats for sure. IF he TRUELY CARED and wasnt OBVIOUSLY ADDICTED to the drama, he WOULDNT DO THIS to the woman he is supposed to CARE FOR and LOVE. It sounds like he has no remorse for what he has done to you in the PAST or NOW. THAT Speaks volumes. Put yourself FIRST because HE isnt. He is being SELFISH and THATS something you SHOUDNT DO in a marriage if you TRUELY LOVE the person you're with. Im so SORRY sweetie XXXXXXXXXXXX

10-16-2009, 04:01 PM

I am sorry to say but this raises red flags with me too. I hope I am wrong, but I also hope you take action to get your answer instead of waiting around to find out. My prayers are with you.


10-16-2009, 08:12 PM
Once a cheater, always a cheater.

EDIT: I think I should clarify. I think if someone has cheated on you once, they will cheat again because you've "allowed" it, per se.

That doesn't mean a person can't/won't change, i.e. if he cheated in a previous relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean he will cheat on you.

In my line of work, when someone asks me to confirm their spouse is cheating, it's because their gut is telling them something. Gut instincts don't lie....but people do.

sick n tired
10-16-2009, 10:36 PM
I agree with Lucky....you seem to have answered your own question...I am sorry this is happening...have you thought about calling the number and seeing who would answer?

10-17-2009, 02:45 PM
call the number and see who answers. My thoughts on extramarital affairs is kind of wierd but my rule has always been

1. Tell me about it
2. I want to see that she has "papers" i.e. no STDs

3. Remember that if he's having an affair or you even think he could be, need to make sure you're protecting yourself. You have no idea what kind of crap he could be bringing home.

Sorry this is something you even have to deal with.

10-17-2009, 03:58 PM
Sorry to hear about your roundabout with your hubby.. frustrating! I am sure it is difficult for you to deal with and searching for truth and answers must be even more frustrating for you. You deserve to be with someone whom is upfront and not sneaky. Relationships are tough enough as is, and then when you have to follow someone around to see / confirm if their being faithful, that's plain exhausting! Stand stong and realize you are better then this.. it is far too much work for little or no repayment.

10-18-2009, 06:23 AM
I do have to say that I don't agree with the once a cheater always a cheater, I have been the cheater before and I did it once and never did it again...well at least not at this point... I wanted to call the number but I have called numbers on his phone before and once I looked stupid when I realized who one of the numbers was, and then another time I called a number and women answered and well it turned into along battle that really got messed up...

He uses the phone for working his business so he gets calls from all over but there should only be few people he txt messages... You know like me, the kids, his brother...

He has this thinking that it is ok to talk to women as long as he is not sleeping with them, we have had this talk, that I don't agree with it...

We do have a some what strage marrage if you really knew both of us but there is just something that is not settling about this txt message...

I was married once before and my first husband left me for a man which was big shocker for me but I was on the way out the door when I find out anyway..

It's just there's alot of stree going on right now in the house and we don't need this hanging over us that's all....

10-18-2009, 07:25 AM
Hello Everyone,

I realize that this subject is a painful one, and will elicit some emotional responses from people, but please keep your comments civil.

Also, I would ask everyone to be cautious in regards to what kind of highly personal details you post here. Just remember that this is a public forum and anyone can read these highly personal posts and the details in them.

Thanks Everyone,


10-19-2009, 06:55 AM
hi lea, this is a subject that many of us have found ourselves on one side or the other of. I don't know if your husband is cheating, but i do know that this has to be affecting your health. You must do what is right for you. Do not worry about him or his texts or phone calls.....you are the important one here, and you do what you need to keep this from causing a flare.