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View Full Version : Getting some stuff off my chest



scarby
09-21-2009, 05:43 PM
I'm sorry but I don't know where else to go to get this off my chest right now before I have a full mental breakdown. My friend isn't around now.

I had an appointment with the psych yesterday and show him the advance directive that I wrote. He went on to explain how it's not legally binding in NZ etc and through the discussion, he brought up things like safety, suicide, hospitalisation etc and it just brought up so very bad memories of my struggles since last year. It also didn't help yesterday that I got a band headaches and pain that radiated right through my back, something which I though Plaquenil was meant to get rid of. By the time I went to bed, I spent quite a while tossing and turning to make myself comfortable cause everything just hurt.

Then today, I got the results of my terms test and it really didn't go too well at all. This has further dampened my day as if the rain and yesterday's event wasn't bad enough. The worst part was that I actually studied for it and got some extra time to counter the 'impairment'. I went through so much just to study for it - my symptoms flared with stiffness, aches and pains, bad headaches, nausea, throwing up, extreme fatigue even though I was sleeping 12/13 hours and now looking back on it, I think this was the cause of the very bad migraines that I had.

I have my finals in a month and after this I can say I no longer have any confidence in my brain remembering things. I mean I'm sure it's not the end of the world but I don't know why I'm having such a hard time coping with 'not so good' things happening. All I want to do know is just to curl up in bed to sleep and cry. I don't know how I'm going to manage a 3 hour lab tomorrow in this state. :cry3:

mountaindreamer
09-21-2009, 06:18 PM
oh scarby, i am so sorry that you are having such a tough time. The plaqenil does help, but it does not stop all flares. Have you talked to your dr. about additional treatment options? I hope your 3 hour lab goes ok tomorrow.

SandyR
09-21-2009, 08:53 PM
scarby,

i am sorry to hear that things are not going well at the moment. i don't really understand what is an advanced directive and why is it not legally binding? can you see your counselor at school and perhaps ask to retake the test based on medical history?

:hug: Sandy

Angel Oliver
09-22-2009, 06:15 AM
Im so sorry to hear your distress.I hope you get through today better than you thought.I see you have been given some good advice.Just know we all care.Please keep posting.As Sandy said,the counceller and Phyllis explained about the Plaquenil.They are right.Other meds will also help you.Let us know how today went and how you feel later.

Love n hugs Amanda.xxxx

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-22-2009, 09:45 AM
sending you big hugs i know how you feel on exam front i failed two in june for my accounting exams even with extra help for health reason have been told this i is my last chance if i don't past this year college won't be obligued to help me any more!!! sooo might tohguht are with you but like said before i would deffo talk to school/college and if ifferent the examing board!!!!
sorry i can't help with advance directive but you are with my thoughts!! but i know when things feel at the worst i find taking the day min by min nnot looknig to far advance really helps just getting through that day in one piece and getting in as much sleep as possible!! helps much lupie love H x

DrinkofWtr
09-22-2009, 10:25 AM
Please don't get discouraged. Remember it is only one test. I know how you feel though. When I was in college, I studied so hard for a Math Theory final and flunked it. I ended up with a "D" in the class. I had a "B" before I took the final. It was the pits! But I perservered and did end up graduating. You will make it through. Just keep on doing the best you can.

Spanglishqueen
09-22-2009, 10:27 AM
show him the advance directive that I wrote. He went on to explain how it's not legally binding in NZ etc :cry3:
Hi Scarby sorry to hear about your issues. Just for clarification an advance directive is a living will all you are doing is expressing your wishes about yoour medical decision so your wishes are known when you are not competent enough to make your own decisions. It's not really that it's not legally binding per se, it's that even if you have one it can be questioned because they have to prove your were competent to make it when you first made it. To make it easier on you get everyone on your side now about your wishes make sure your family understands your wishes and explain why you want the things you wrote in your advanced directive. Remeber when a person chooses life over death competence is always going to be questioned so the more people on your side the better. Hope this makes you feel a little better about the advanced directive. As for the test we all fail every once in a while. It's okay to be upset and to worry about the next test but continue to do what you were doing and you'll be fine. GOOD Luck!

scarby
09-22-2009, 06:53 PM
Hi guys, thanks for your replies. I'm not quite over it but feeling slightly better after a night's sleep. I know it is only a test but I just felt a little cheated after having done work. The lab today was interesting and I can say my cholesterol levels are fine =) but it was really tiring so I just had a nanna nap. I had been thinking about starting back my piano lessons tomorrow so I text my teacher whether I could start back but he hasn't replied and for some odd reason, I'm getting very nervous. I guess I don't really want another heart break.

Spanlishqueen - As for the advance directive, mine wasn't to cover life of death situations. I just wanted to make it known that should my depression worsen again to the point where I am severely impaired, I would like my family to take care of me in my own home rather than locking me up in a psyc ward.

scarby
09-23-2009, 10:06 PM
oh scarby, i am so sorry that you are having such a tough time. The plaqenil does help, but it does not stop all flares. Have you talked to your dr. about additional treatment options? I hope your 3 hour lab goes ok tomorrow.

Just as an update. I saw the rheumy today, and she gave me some naproxen to help. She also told me to be patient as it could still take a while.