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View Full Version : stop the world i wana get off!!! ( warning talk of womans stuff)



tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-17-2009, 02:37 PM
well this is really hard for me to talk about but just need to get it off my chest and hoping this is the best place do it!!!! soo please bare with me xxx

well some of you may of noticed i have have been abit M.I.A lately well over the last few months well as some of you might amy remeber but my bf left me in may well after that point my periods started to go hay wire junes being late then didn't have one in july and then people started commenting on how my lets just say body shape was changing and i was going through bouts of nausa but yet i didn't think anything of as have had that all happen before having polycyctic ovaries as well as lupus and fybro but then i didn't come on in august and all those close to me were convinced i was pregant but i was was still a bit hestitant to believe it as, as well as having all those illness ihave a copper coil fitted but just to clear my friends and families minds i did a test and came back negative then couple more eeks passed and i was having so many systems so i went and saw the surgery nurse who checked the coil and said all was fine thier and there was no look of infection soo if i didn't come on in a couple of weeks to go see my gp !!soo you guessed two weeks came and still nothing as far as the monthlies and still more signs my clothes were becoming tighter and tighter my breast were sore anduncomfortable soo i went to the gp who asked if it wsa possible i could be pregant and i explained yes but i would have to be over 3 months and with all the complication i dowted so he had me lay down and had poke about when i got up one of the first thing he said to me was 'how would you feel if you were' which i told would be the most unconvient time but i could never get read it just isn't in me! each to thier own but as a teen i never thought i couldn't have them and still had dowt to that day if i could so he said go away take another test and do one each week for the following two week and still if nothing then come back but he said it was wither pregancy or hormones just playing tricks but the way he spoke he sounded like he thought i was but didn't want say it!
and then on top of all this i had finally told my mum she filled me in that when she was pregant with me she went throu six months of still having periods and her doctors telling her noo she was not pregant jsut full of wind then sent her to phyologist or how ever how you spell it who then did blood test to say she was pregant!!
soo i started to get used to the idea started to come round what complications ther would be even getting slightly excited i have always wanted to be a mum prefferably not a single one in her last year of college and in midst of health problems but would take mother how ever it came to me in the end with more and more people telling me they thought i was i even started looking at internet sites about systems think actualy you know what i think i am !!! then wham this morning i woke up with cramp and went to loo and came on!!
i just feel soo crushed feel like my body has just took cruel fun out of tricking my body just feel like this illness is such rollar coaster it prob sounds really harsh and i hope i don't affend but seriously think some time it would be easier to have a leg or an arm missing or something at least you can get your head around and proceed with your life know what is ahead as far as thats concearn but with just never know what coming round the corner!! it severaly messes with your head and i have just had enough i really don't know with how much more i can take i know if i hink rashionally that this is just hormones catching up with me and once this week is over with i'll probable feel much clearer about it all but just now i could really do with a mate or two a duvet and some girly chick flicks and every ones says thier be there and they are to an extent but no one has the time to take out thier life for that long!
ok i hope you understand my waffle with hardly any punctuation and thanks for listening xxx
ps i know a few of you know me on facebook too and i don't really need to ask but please don't mention this on there as the man who would of potentially been the father is still a friend of mind on there and i never said anything waiting for confirmation!
once again thanks xxx

Spanglishqueen
09-17-2009, 05:07 PM
Heidi so sorry to hear you went through this. It is very hard when you think you may be pregnant then you start getting used to the idea and looking forward to it and then BAM your body then says nope just kidding. Yes it's cruel and no its not horrible to wish your illness were clean cut because you would not have any surprises. Look at the silver lining. You now know motherhhod is something you would like you can finish school and work things out with the man who was possibly the father or find a new relationship and start from scratch. Whatever the future may hold I hope it's what you want. Good luck and remeber if you need to talk I'm only a keyboard type away:cute:

SandyR
09-17-2009, 05:43 PM
Heidi,
:hug: (((HUGS))). Having been through a similar situation, I know it was heartbreaking learning that you weren't pregnant just when you had convinced yourself that you were. The sense of loss is overwhelming (probably more so due to that sudden rush of hormones) and I am sorry to hear about your feelings of loss and being crushed. I am there for you (on or off FB) anytime you want.
Sandy

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-18-2009, 01:28 AM
thanks means alot girls xxx
just woke feeling abit better this morning after a good 9 and 1/2 hours but think its going to be a slow day again today i forgot to add when docs thoghti might be took me off almost all my meds so now i got to slowly work up to take them all again!! but again thanks girls xxx

Oluwa
09-18-2009, 06:23 AM
Hi Heidi..hugs...

What a stressful time..no wonder your body, the girlie shut down...and toss in PCOS you went into amenorrhea. That is common with PCOS and stress...

With your menses starting again now your body can resume its normal cycle...and seems the stress is healing, leaving..I hope so..

Take care of you...find ways to destress as it is happening...

Head hugs,
Love,
Oluwa

Oluwa
09-18-2009, 06:24 AM
Heidi..I found this link...http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/amenorrhea/DS00581/DSECTION=causes

Love,
O.

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-18-2009, 08:01 AM
thanks so much owula had alook and makes lots of sense i make get doc to check thyrod as well thou now as it would make sense on some thoerthings and does run in family but normally on man sides of family but who know knowing the body anything seems to go lol

rob
09-18-2009, 09:13 AM
I'm sorry you are having such a hard time lately Heidi. I won't pretend to understand all the female stuff, but I understand what it's like to be on an emotional rollercoaster. I hope you get to feeling better soon.

Rob

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-18-2009, 09:18 AM
thanks rob means alot xxx

cherokee993
09-18-2009, 09:17 PM
Sending you hugs! I can sympathize to some extent. My husband and I tried for 9 years total to have a baby, we had a miscarriage early on and then about 6 years later were blessed with our sweet son. I still have moments where I think oh wow I feel pregnant and I take a test and then a while later here comes the period! It can be very emotionally stressful! Then you worry about yoru meds and life situation. ((HUGS)) and ((LOVE)) to you!

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-19-2009, 03:45 AM
thanks amy means alot yess been rough couple of months but on the up again now slowly but surely taking some time out off to little town called burnham-on-crouch a place i used to live to vist a friend for her 30th!! think theres gonig to be alot of them this year!! lol then come back and get ready to go back to college soo life goes on just painfully at moment with 3 months of periods at once by feels of it lol!!

so thank you all for your supportive words speak soon bounce bounce H xxx

Angel Oliver
09-19-2009, 05:02 AM
Oh Wow Heidi,

I am thinking of you and sorry to hear what a sad and stressful time this has been for you.Sending you gentle hugs.Just rest and know we are all here for you.

Love Amanda.xxxxxx

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-20-2009, 09:20 AM
thanks amanda i been away over night at a friends and feel likealot better about everything just recovering from that now lol x

Angel Oliver
09-20-2009, 11:25 AM
Oh im glad you are feeling a touch better.Take it one day at a time.We are all here for you.

Sending you gentle hugs
Love Amanda.xxxxxx

red246
09-23-2009, 07:18 PM
Heidi,

((((HUGS!!!)))) I have been through this several times over the past few years. It sucks, no doubt about it! Now when I'm running late I try not to even think about it. I just tell myself it's the stupid Lupus screwing with me in another way! Hang in there!

tiggerlishus - Heidi
09-24-2009, 08:23 AM
ahh thanks lauren yer it hasn't stopped either after not being on for 3 months came on for 0n'y 4 and half days and except for first day was much to talk about and still getting all the other stuff heartburn nausa extreme tired tender breasticles and so on all my family are insiting i still might be but i'm like noo its just the lupus playing tricks on my body just wish it would give me abreak!!

mountaindreamer
09-24-2009, 08:39 AM
hi heidi, i am so sorry about your recent roller coaster ride. It has been many years since i had the monthly thing, but i remember how it can mess with your head and emotions. I am also sorry that i just responded, i did not see your thread until today....i don't know where these things hide, but they hide from me. I am glad to hear that your mom was there and so supportive, and i am glad that you have friends, even if they are busy and don't realize how much you need them. I agree with an earlier response,, now you know that you would like to be a mother, and hopefully the right partner will come along and you will start a family together.