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dixiewolf
09-09-2009, 02:14 PM
i HATE not knowing if i have brain fog or pms!! it's so annoying! today i felt like everything was hopeless and out of control again, which is ridiculous because physically i'm doing much better. today i just allowed myself to feel sorry for myself, which is rare, because i hate victim mentalities, i have a hard time giving myself a break. i wanted to get angry, scream, curl up in a ball. basically i wanted to throw a temper tantrum like a two year old. :hissyfit:

tuesday i have my bloodwork to see if i have sle rather than just scle. i feel like it's looming over my head, i'm scared. this is just so not where i thought my life would be at 30 years old. sorry for the rant, but where else would i do it other than here?? :cute: hope everyone had a better day than i did.

Angel Oliver
09-09-2009, 02:19 PM
Oh Sarah,

Im right with you and others will come and join in also just watch. Up until today,aged 39 for years ive been hiding in a bedroom so ill,low,crying,itching,swelling bla bla bla and sometimes a chunk of hair on the pillow or just feel sick n fed up. This is what Doctors dont realise when we have appointments with them in 'a few weeks' the worry,the unknown,the dread of the words that come out of their mouths with ease.
I know its scarey,but you have us all here to help you through this.I hope Tuesday is better than you think.I'll be thinking of you.Just keep strong and know we all care and you are not alone.

love Amanda.xxxxxx

SandyR
09-09-2009, 08:14 PM
Sarah,

Hi! I don't think I've had a chance to introduce myself and say welcome yet. Your post tonight really struck a chord in my heart.

This isn't what I thought my picture would look like at 30 either, but I am glad to know that their are people on here like you who understand what I feel like. It sounds like you might also be like me if you are the kind of person who stores up your feelings till you burst like broken levee. If you feel like crying or screaming or shouting, let it out & you will probably feel a lot better too. :hissyfit:

Sandy

debbie-b
09-10-2009, 12:40 PM
I hope your day has gotten better. We all know how you feel, we have all been there.
Hopefully your little rant has helped, remember, we are here for you.

Debbie

mountaindreamer
09-10-2009, 01:53 PM
Hi dixiewolf,

just want to join others in hoping that your day is improving....it is a shame that it hurts too much for us to take out our angers on something....Rob has a great idea....he has a punching bag....if i had one, it would just pop back and hit me in my head.

i am not trying to make light of your frustrations, whether it is brain fog or pms that is hitting you, it still wrecks your world. so sorry that you are having to deal with this.

Are you on steroids? these things make me go crazy, i don't even know my own self.

lucky7
09-10-2009, 02:42 PM
What ive realized Sarah is that YOU HAVE TO VENT sometimes to get PAST "it". Im like you, i dont like to "feel sorry for myself" BUT sometimes its ok because then im better AFTER my episode!:yes: I DONT do IT often BUT i DO IT WHEN I TRUELY NEED TO!!!!! SCREAM AWAY!!:shocked:

debbie-b
09-11-2009, 03:21 PM
Well today I pretty much lost it at work, I had a customer from hell and she had the guts to say to me, " do you habe an attitute?" I said" I don't. She started yelling at me and I finally told her that she was the one with the attitute and I am not going to take it. My boss heard the whole thing and agreed with me, so did all the other customer. I should wear a shirt saying "DON'T MESS WITH ME, I HAVE MENOPAUSE AND LUPUS."

Debbie

Angel Oliver
09-11-2009, 08:37 PM
Oh Debbie how awful.Glad everyone stuck up for you and yes...get that t shirt out :)

Love Amanda.xxxx

abbasgirl
09-12-2009, 06:48 AM
Wish I could hand you these soft kleenexes and chocolates in person. Sometimes we gotta cry...like everyone else said, it's good for you!

There's a post I read somewhere on here... Saysuzie said crying is cathartic...and I thought, what is "cathartic"? I looked it up and then realized I already knew what it meant, I had just forgot. :wacko:

I repeated it to myself and used it as much as I could afterwards hoping to concrete it in my brain. lol. Looks like it's still in there.

I hate the brain fog too. But there are times it's actually funny and I've found I can laugh at some of it. Other times, when it's hard...it's just a process of learning to live around it and with it. Stress tends to make it worse I've found... I don't know if it's like that for anyone else, but it tends to get worse when I'm worried.

(((((((Hugs)))))))) I'm keeping you in thought and my prayers.

abbasgirl
09-12-2009, 06:49 AM
Well today I pretty much lost it at work, I had a customer from hell and she had the guts to say to me, " do you habe an attitute?" I said" I don't. She started yelling at me and I finally told her that she was the one with the attitute and I am not going to take it. My boss heard the whole thing and agreed with me, so did all the other customer. I should wear a shirt saying "DON'T MESS WITH ME, I HAVE MENOPAUSE AND LUPUS."

Debbie

LOL...oh Debbie! :)

That cracked me up! I wish I could have been there to see it... I would have applauded!!!

Samo
09-13-2009, 05:59 PM
Hi Dixiewolf,

I'm Samo!

It happens to all of us. I truly agree with Lucky7, it is not about being a victim it is about letting it out to get passed "it".

When I am with my worst pain, sometimes I don't even make it home, I just cry in my car! Not everyday, just when I feel I have to let it out.

Know that you are not alone!

lucky7
09-14-2009, 03:27 PM
LOL DEBBIE!!!!!!! TOO FUNNY and TRUE!!!! :wacko:

THATS RIGHT Samo!!!!!:yes:

lucky7
09-14-2009, 03:28 PM
Oh Abbasgirl!!! LOL YOu cracked me up about "cathartic" ! LOL Youre too CUTE!:laugh: