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View Full Version : Brain fog and spouses....



leaann
08-25-2009, 09:33 AM
I hate brain fog....:hissyfit:
Beware I am lupie not crazy....
On my soap box again.... over the last few years I have been trying to explain to my husband about brain fog....The man just don't understand or he has brain fog himself... just last night we had an arguement about communication and brain fog....

It all starts with the dog, my dog was out side and hubby lets him in and call me as I was in another room and says there's something wrong with the dog... I yelled back at him that I would be there in few to check on the dog... I walk into the living room and made this statement " the dog has been fine all day" I lfet it at that hubby gets mad and says that he does not understand how I can say that the dog was fine all day when in fact that I was not at home most of the day and the dog had also been out side the last 2 hours....

We had a 3 hour argument on the fact that I said something that he did not understand.... Like I told him, here is was what I was thinking... I was looking at the dog and instead of say he looks fine to me, I said the dog was fine all day... I tried to explain that it was brain fog coming on, he said it was an excuse...(make me mad) :no: by the end of the conversation we were both so confused that we just gave up on what we were argueing about and dropped it.... I know though it will come back up again...

I find that more and more my brain fog is effecting my life, and that I am getting so bad that I argue about it. Just like the other day when I was making tea.... I was going to move the pot of boiling water off the stove, my husband warned me that it was very hot I argued with him that it was just water no big deal i can handle it.... It got upset about it and was going to help but I refused to let him help...(wish I had let him now) I have a huge burn on my foot where the hot water jumped out of the pot and hit me on top of my foot.... all because I felt like I was right and did not need help... I couldn't remeber turning the stove on and thought that the water was cold.... my husband says that the water was still boiling when I took it off the stove... I could not see that.... bad brain fog :embarrassed:


I did not think I could hurt my self from it.... Hubby was just trying to help me and prevent me from hurting my self with the water....

Why does brain fog have to be so bad or is there something else wrong with me....
I just want to feel like I can still take care of things around my hosue without depending on my family....

Want give up being dependant....

Spanglishqueen
08-27-2009, 06:38 PM
Yes the brain fogs are horrible they put you not only in a forgetful mood but a lackadaisical mood (if that makes sense). During a bad fatigue the brain fog kicked in and I cut my finger while in the kitchen and I required 7 stitches my husband has been afraid ever since to leave me alone. They don't mean to make us feel like children, but unfortunately when the fog hits we need guidance, 'cuz cutting open a crazy glue top that wont come off, with a butcher knife seems safe BUT ITS NOT! :) Sorry you burned yourself and brain fogs are causing communication issues...but let your husband read this post so he knows it REALLY isn't you. :hug:

pjreeses
08-27-2009, 07:55 PM
i get kinda dumb sometimes. i leave the tea on and forget to turn it off. i forget to pay the bills(alot). i'm clumsy too. 2 years ago thanksgiving day, i was walking down my steps and my ankle twisted. i ended up missing 4ft of steps and landing on my ankle sideways with all of my weight. lucky, that i didn't break it. messed it up pretty good. took about 6 months for it to heal. lately i've been wondering if maybe i have brain fog sometimes. do you ever feel like you just missed a couple of hours? like you have no idea why its already 7 when it was just 5?

debbie-b
08-28-2009, 09:03 AM
Hi Leaann,

Even though my husband is very loving and supportive, there are alot of things he does not understand or comprehend. But how could he? Did we understand anything about lupus or brainfog, before we where dx? Our partners only get bits and pieces thrown at them, from us, about our illness and they just can't make any sense of it.
I also have asthma, last week I had a hard time breating and my husband said to me" just take your oxygen", bless his heart, he meant my Albuterol inhaler.
So take it easy on him, after all he is just a man.LOL I hope I don't get spanked by our male lupies now.

Debbie

jcg196
08-28-2009, 08:12 PM
Hi Leaann,

Yeah I so feel you on that one. I have almost burnt my house down a couple of times. My husband asked me "Are you boiling water?" And I will be like "No i'm not" And turns out I did! And I dont even remember doing it! So now i'm not allowed to cook and leave the kitchen because it will leave my memory just like that.

Or I will tell the same story over and over to the same person. Or forget words or names of peole that are aquantanices (sorry for the spelling =0) that I should know.

It's rought but hang in there but don't be ashamed to ask for help. It's not ur fault its part of the disease. And u dont wanna put ur fam or anyone else in danger.

Take care and I hope ur brain fog gets better!!! :yes:

leaann
08-31-2009, 10:26 AM
yeah I agree that the family can not completely understand the brain fog... it is just hard to deal with sometimes and especially when he does not understand...

just the other day, the craziest thing happen.... I couldn't walk very good and was moving from the recliner to the couch had a cigrette(sp) in my hand that I was smoking I dropped it so I sat down on the couch to look for it on the floor and sat right on it, burnt my ass never burnt the couch at all...couldn't move fast enough to get away from the lite smoke... hubby comes home and ask whats wrong I expained I burnt my ass and now he want stop laughing at me... I mean it is funny now... but I was upset about it...

I just don't want to feel like a baby....