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kim,l
07-30-2009, 12:38 AM
well i did a dumb thing today i bought a set of scales and and check my weight i am in total shock i weight is 170 kilos i have been big since the age of 21 due medical reasons but never this big i caanot believe i have put on so much weight since being on prednisone i only weighed 130 before taking tablets and i am gluten intolerant so i watch what i eat i just can,t understand it know wonder my blood pressures up i feel so ashamed and it has depressed me even further rheumi has reduced prednisone to 12 mg a day i am taking plaquenil and cardizem and atacand for bloodpressure and aspirin and thyroxine and iron tablets i am going to go on meal replacement program optifast hope this will help reduce weight i cant understand i just don,t eat that much it confuses me. and am now taking valium to deal with stress . got phone call from sarah last night she has heading for another mental breakdown wants to give up on life doesn,t care wants to isolate herself away from everyone i am frightened she is suicidal again she has post traumatic stress disorder she was molested as a child by my sisters partner but blocked memories until she reached 18 when she had breakdown this was one of the reasons my sister killed herself she is having memories and this is distressing herself i am really worried which is not helping my health sarah is living in group home for mentally ill. stephen is worried and has had chest pains 2 days in row and mikaela is sick again with flu virus my son was supposed come home to help instead he just lays around smokes and drinks i don.t understand kids these days this is not the way we bought him up neither his father or i drink or smoke he is abusive i need to ask him to leave but i feel guilty because he gave up oppurtunity for good job to help us but things are not working out. i just want things to get better but i just cannot see any light at the end of the tunnel i just want to run away and hide i wish i could report good news to everyone for a change i feel like i am just whingeing this is not like me there is people worse off than me thankyou for listening my friends i hope you are all having wonderful day you all deserve it you are good people and you have helped me through these last few months and for that i am so very grateful to have you in my life thankyou kim l

mountaindreamer
07-30-2009, 06:09 PM
wow kim,

once again, sweetie, you are needing huge group hugs.:grouphug:

i so wish i could do more for you, just really breaks my heart. Please do not ever apologize or feel badly for leaning on us....you, my friend, are truly deserving of a shoulder to lean on.

i know your frustrations about your son....my son came home a few years ago, and made my life pure hell....he had no respect for me. He left over a years ago, and just recently moved back home. This time he is a huge help, and seems to have a different attitude....he is not trashing my house or me...i am actually enjoying his company. Hope your son comes around, and if not, then maybe someone needs to "jack up" his back side, and give him an ultimatum....you don't need this stress added to your already burdened shoulders.

i also know your frustrations about weight. I also put some weight on from steroid injections....i have not been able to get off, because i have not been able to exercise. it drives me crazy, and can be so depressing....it is truly a battle within myself.

I can not tell you have incredibly sorry i am about Sarah....i hope someone can help her get past this horrific time in her life.

and as if everything else is not enough, the flu is back and stephen is having chest pains.....oh, it is definitely time for the dark cloud to move on from over your head.

you keep venting, you are a part of our world-wide family of the sky, and we will always be here. Take care and find peace, this is my prayer for you.

SandyR
07-30-2009, 06:12 PM
oh Kim. :( Boy the storm of SugarHoneyIcedTea in your life just won't let up. I am so sorry to hear that things are worse right now. What happened with Sarah today? I wish there was something I could DO for you but all I can offer up is prayers and a listening shoulder. And some vertual hugs for you.

ButterflyRN
07-31-2009, 11:25 AM
Hugs your way...I am so sorry things are so hard for you right now!