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kim,l
07-17-2009, 06:57 PM
well ended up in emergency room yesterday only got home this morning i had heart palpitations and my bloodpressure was very high it was 189/108 pulse 110 my blood pressure is very irradict lately the doctors believe it is due to the stress and the prednisone they are putting me on valium and want me to take more bloodpressure medication and some anti depressants they believe it is also due to lack of sleep i am going to try andrest in bed the doctor believes i am worn out and not taking care of myself i feel like crying all the time i shake they also believe i maybe going into early menopause my nerves are just shot to pieces i feel like i am in this bad dream and i can,t wake up from it . its just one thing after another now my son who came to help me is also sick. sarah has a broken bone in her foot she is having alot of trouble with her muscles lately legs are just going from under her needs to have lupus tests i am beginning to lose hope i feel like crawling into bed and never coming out my the depression is really hitting me hard this time and i cannot seem to pull myself out of it this flare is been a bad one my kidneys are not functioning properly my white blood cell count has been elevated for 5 weeks now they know i have an inflamation in my body somewhere but they are not sure where my headaches are bad i dont know what to do i just want it to end the doctor asked me last night did i feel like harming myself this distressed me because my sister killed herself 2 years ago i would never think of doing that i know how it affected my family i just want things to get better and i just want to wake up and feel happy again not feel so sad all the time worrying if my husband is going to die from his heart problems i just want me back again i was always able to cope now i have no fight left in me just constant heart ache. well thankyou for listening your prays help alot they give me comfort i am so glad to have you all in my life you have become my strength your words get me through the day love and hugs kim l.

Monique89
07-17-2009, 08:40 PM
Oh hun, im sorry you are having such a rough time...
I really hope that you can get some relief soon...
Thinking of you xxxx

SandyR
07-17-2009, 08:56 PM
Kim,
I am sorry to hear that things are so bad right now. I wish there was more I can do to help. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Sandy

mountaindreamer
07-18-2009, 06:12 AM
Jeees Kim,

what next? my friend.....now your son is sick, and your daughter has a broken bone in her foot....i agree with you, it it past time for this dark cloud to move on and leave you and your family alone.

Did you have to take an ambulance to the er last night? Do you feel they really cared and helped you? Sounds like the dr. realizes the extent of pressure that is on your shoulders, and i hope he truly cares and helps you. I can certainly understand why you are depressed....there is not a human alive who could go through what you face each day and not be depressed....I hope you can find the energy to give yourself a hug, and accept the depression without "beating yourself up" over it.

Keep coming here, releasing your frustrations to us, and letting us walk with you....wish we could all be there in person, but i hope you can feel our support surrounding you.

crmj1183
07-18-2009, 06:52 AM
Kim,

Pray, Pray, Pray, This situation calls for the man, GOD. Get on your knees and cry out to him, tell him that you need him to take control of the situation. He will and like that things will get better. I know you feel like things couldnt get any worse but I know things will get better for you and your family. Kim, you are so strong and you will make it through this and so will your husband. Just hang in there a little while longer. Take everyday one day at a time. And everyday pray to God for CONTINUOUSLY blessing you. Kim, you will make it. Remember, God may not come when we think he needs to but he is definitely on time!!!! Stay strong, and positive. Think positive, be positive. You are in my prayers, Kim. Im sending you 1000 hugs:yes:

Love,
Chriss

kim,l
07-18-2009, 05:08 PM
well thankyou for your support it helps alot and your prays. well got some results yesterday it seems i have a very low iron level and my thyroid is not working so this is giving me heart palpitations and breathlessness andsending my blood pressure high to as well as the prednisone the doctor is worried that if i continue to have high bloodpressure it will damage my kidney,s further as they are already not functioning properly took my first valium last night and got a little sleep so that helped a bit fatigue is very bad my arms and fingers are hurting just writing this message i forgot to ask i have colieac disease and am told that this is also part of lupus and anyone else got this as well. stephen is having a good morning today feels a little better not coughing as much his heart raced a bit last night but so far not this morning just wish could stop crying hate being depressed just want to smile again well goodbye for now many hugs kim l

Oluwa
07-18-2009, 09:37 PM
“Great faith is the product of great fights. Great testimonies are the outcome of great tests. Great triumphs come only out of great trials. Every stumbling block must become a stepping stone, and every opposition must become an opportunity.”

By Smith Wigglesworth

Danica01
07-19-2009, 08:27 AM
I am so sorry you are carrying the weight of your world on your shoulders. Life can be so hard at times. Please let us help you carry this and take some of it off of your shoulders. Keep talking and getting out of bed. Talk to your doctors and let them know just how bad you really are feeling. Make them give you something to help you get through this. You will survive and your husband will come out of this. You are strong and we are here being strong for you. Keep us posted on how you are doing and please know we all are thinking about you. I am sending you healing thoughts and gentle hugs today :hug:

lucky7
07-20-2009, 02:31 PM
AWWWW, so sorry its POORING on you right now.:no: I just want you to know that im hopeing for BETTER DAYS for you. Ill do a little "brighter days" dance to hopefully move it along quicker.:653: See. its going to get so much brighter for you that you will need your shades!!!! HUGS XXXXX

dassar RN
07-20-2009, 03:22 PM
Just a food for thought:

"Extraordinary people survive under the most terrible circumstances and they become more extraordinary because of it."

—Robertson Davies.

I will be praying for you.
Hang in there

Dassar RN

lucky7
07-20-2009, 03:38 PM
Nicely said Dassar!!!! THUMBS UP to that!!!!:thumbs-up:

mountaindreamer
07-20-2009, 05:01 PM
hi kim,

add my name to the list of supporters here. Dassar RN was right, you are an EXTRAORDINARY person. I hope you have peace tonight.

magistramarla
07-20-2009, 05:09 PM
Kim,
I just spotted this thread. I'm so sorry to hear about things getting even worse for you and your family. I'm glad that you finally got some medical help for yourself. Keep doing that! Things just have to turn around for you, Kim. You've been down too long.
Keep coming back here and reporting to us. We can't help you in person, but we'll give you all the support that we can.
Take care of yourself,
Gentle Hugs,
Marla

Saysusie
07-20-2009, 08:57 PM
I, too, am sorry that I'm just catching up with this thread. My heart goes out to you and to your family and I am very happy that you got help for yourself.
Please take care of yourself and know that we are here for you. I am sending you and your family my prayers.

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

Danica01
07-21-2009, 01:15 AM
Just checking in to see how you are doing and letting you know I am thinking about you :hug: