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Jerzi
07-17-2009, 05:28 PM
I hate being the 'downer', but I just don't know where to go anymore. It's really starting to seem like everyone's turned their back on me, lately. The first few months of my diagnosis my family and friends were supportive, but now they seem to be distancing themselves. My best friend stays in touch with me, but she'll never come to visit me if I'm feeling worse than usual. Quite a few of my 'friends' won't even talk to me unless I look like I can be a functioning, healthy human being that day. I could somewhat deal with that, as it showed who my true friends were, but now my family's even getting this way. I know they're trying to be supportive and help me, but I think they just can't deal with me anymore, especially since I've been pretty couch/bed ridden lately.

I'm really sorry to drag you all into my bad day(s), but I just feel absolutely alone. =[

Bonita
07-17-2009, 05:41 PM
Sorry to hear that you do not have much support but everyone hear feels your pain. I don't think my family understands what you go through each day because to others you seem well its on the inside you are screaming some days. I feel your frustration Love Bonita

Jerzi
07-17-2009, 05:48 PM
I'm sorry to hear that you know what this feels like. I don't think anyone should have to feel so alienated just because they're sick.

widebody
07-17-2009, 06:01 PM
Jerzi,
sorry you're having a hard time. I started getting that 'alienation' feeling from my otherwise remarkably supportive and wonderful wife. I think she's getting tired of my depression and lack of 'spark' -- and I haven't even been feeling that bad, mostly just tired. I don't know how I/we will handle the next flare.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for you, and that you'll find the strength and tools to cope. WE're always here for you.

rob
07-17-2009, 06:04 PM
Hi Jerzey,

You may think you are a downer, but here, you're normal, you fit right in. Nobody here will ever think of you as a downer, so no apology is needed. Back when I was first diagnosed, I lost pretty much all of my so called friends, and my soon to be wife. My family wasn't supportive of me one bit either.

I tried to fake it, act OK, try to be socialble as I once was, but it just didn't work. The effort, was just too much, and I felt as though people who I stood by throught thick and thin, and helped out in crisis after crisis, suddenly were bailing on me at the first sign of a problem with me. I had to let it all go. I decided to concentrate my limited physical and emotional energy on those who are the closest-my parents and two sisters. They are very supportive and understanding these day. I guess what I'm saying, is that you might consider putting your effort into those closest to you, and let the fair-weather friends go if they don't want ot be around.

Sometimes, people can be so self serving. So selfish. I know how you feel, It hurts. You are definitely not alone, as most of us here have struggled with this problem far too often. I wish there were easy answers. Just remember that you can come here anytime to vent, and unload, and nobody will judge you for it.

Rob

Jerzi
07-17-2009, 06:22 PM
widebody, that's really lame to hear that you're experiencing a similar issue. Dealing with the depression/lack of a 'spark' is so tough to deal with when it feels like you're alone. I hope you get your energy back soon and that your next flare isn't to harsh on your or your relationship. =[
Thank you for your well wishing, it means a lot in times like these.


Rob, thanks for the acceptance of my current lameness.

I can absolutely relate to everything you said about trying to feign health and about the people you've always been there for leaving the second you need help from them. It just seems like a whole lot of wasted time, now.

I'm definitely trying as much as I can right now to keep the people who didn't run off at the first sign of illness. Its a struggle and I'm just hoping that it works out considering how much energy I'm putting into these relationships right now.

It means a lot to know I'm not completely alone in this. I'm sorry that most of us have had to go through this, at some point. But at least there seems to be understanding here. I only wish that people who don't have illnesses like this could have this type of understanding, as well.

crmj1183
07-17-2009, 06:25 PM
jerzi,

I hate that you're feeling like this, you're never alone. Sometimes it hard for people to understand what we're going through, but stay strong and anytime you need to talk, complain, or vent we are here. Hugs

Chriss

Jerzi
07-17-2009, 07:25 PM
Thank you so much for the support and encouragement, Chriss. <3
It's nice to feel like I at least have support somewhere in the world.