View Full Version : Much needed advice please.....

06-27-2009, 04:23 AM
Hello everyone,

I do hope all my lovely american friends are having a good start to w/e :yes:

I need some advice please heres where its starts....

As some of you know i went to my medical last week, it dint last 2 hours in the end lasted 20 mins so 60 min of driving (one way) for?? anyway the dr i saw asked me a few questions and realised i was very upset i had to leave my job etc as i broke down in tears during it, he gave me a few excersises to carry out which i did to the best of my ability, we spoke about the meds im on and how they affect my every day to day life, i explained tht no 2 cases of lupus is the same, he said he knew that...ok cocky just letting you know!.

I received a letter from ESA (employment and support allowence) saying that my money had gone up from 64-50 a week to 89-50 a week, and ive now been put into the "can return to work" catorgory, Erm ok! So i get a phone call from Job centre this morning (ESA goes through job centre for us to return to work) (infact all benefits go through job centre plus these days) So he told me as of now job cente plus is phoning everyone who is out of work to set up a job related interveiw, a new scheme to get ill ppl back into work even if its 16 hours a week.

Lets go back 6 months, I was very happy in my job ok only working 16 hours a week and even that was too hard for me to keep up with the early mornings then the pain through out the day, i was a stressful mess, in alot of pain too, i think some may remember my thread about having to leave work and go on benefits and how it upset me and affected me?.

So according to this fella on the other end of the flamming line who aint never met me in his life (he would be lucky if he did) thinks im ok to return to work? we set a date for an interveiw....even though i had explained july is a busy month for me medical wise! 10th july we came up with, but im seeing my GP on the 9th and im planning on asking for predisolone back, im thinking maybe i need to arrange another appointment?!? (with job centre plus) Heidi said about getting my GP to write a letter to them explaining everything and how stress causes flares yadda yadda........What do you guys think i should do?

Im quite upset about this all really as i want to return to work, but it nearly killed me trying to work, if i go into the interveiw saying i want to return to work they will put me on the first bus TOO work, if i go in to the interveiw guns blazing im gonna look like a benefit addict, if i have back up letters from GP's or keep changing my appointment......what do you think? im not trying to live off benefits tbh with you all its hard and i hate it!
But i need my health, surely thats more important?.

This is kinda like the thread Rob did, yet mine is aimed @ the benefit brigade, how can i AND more to the point why do i have to PROVE to them im ill, i am nowt i can do bout it!
I have worked hard all my life never been out of a job for more than 4 months, ok im only 30 thats still 17 years ive paid tax!.....flamming charmin' if you ask me!

Someone please give me some sound advice for what i should do monday?!

Many thanx, sorry its long, im not really a long writter.


06-27-2009, 04:46 AM
I would just go to the appointment instead of dragging it out...

If your doctors statement is not adequate, ISDM...I would go to the interview..be open minded so they would not think either way, eager or avoiding. Not being offensive or defensive. Just be, if that makes sense...

If they have a position lined up, go the the job site...do the best you can. If ill, call in sick, if you have an doctors appointment during work hours inform your employer. Don't schedule your appointments around work..do it the other way. Schedule during work hours. If they see you are not work reliable because of your illness, unable to perform...that would probably be better evidence than a letter...

Don't suck it up while at work, take your medication...call in every Monday andTuesday sick, unable to work because you are ill from your MTX...

On a up note...It would be wonderful if it was an accomodating job....and you could work when well, eh? Call in when sick. No harassment. No grief from an employer. No feeling guilty if calling in sick...more cash...could be, eh?

Hope this helps...Jane..

Hugs and love,

06-27-2009, 05:03 AM
Thanx hun,

Taken all on board, thats what i thought about, i guess they havint seen me (being under them) what issues with work i have living with the lupus.

I will go to the interveiw and take it from there, they need to know how meds and lupus affects my day to day life, so i can take info with me, im not trying to be a benefit fraud or nothing cause im not like tht just needed to see bigger picture, cheers oluwa


06-27-2009, 05:23 AM
I know you are not like that, Jane...head hugs. XOXOluwa

Angel Oliver
06-27-2009, 06:06 AM

Im sad to hear you are going through this.Remember back when i first joined here,i think it was one of my first posts i did,but i carnt remember lol. I too had to go to the job centre plus evevry month and if i didnt attend they'd stop my benefits.Then a place called shaw trust started calling me too.I had to go for the interview with their staff as i too was 'fit for work'.They soon realised as soon as i arrived there was no way.How could i go to work when i had'nt slept the night before? I even made sure i had a private room to be seen in as of the panic attacks.It was the most stressful time,trying to prove i was sick and i also told them 'i have a job' but carnt work due to me being sick.Im a receptionist credit controller.I dont sleep good n when i do its unrefreshed,i hurt,jaw problems give me pain if i talk too long,sitting at my desk i had panic attacks.Twice i fell asleep n my boss caught me.
The solution......My nurse ended up writing to the job centre n shawtrust to say stop hounding me.The stress of their appointments were making me so depressed.They all could clearly see i was unfit to work.But our sh*t government dont care...yet they used all our money on themselves privately.
So get a letter from the doctor,a nurse,a neighbour,a family member...the pope if it comes down to it.Dont be forced back too soon.If you dont feel its the time yet..do what i say as it worked for me.They are soon to hound me again,i feel sick waiting for the letter.
I realise working has many benefits.But i know for me right now,isnt the right time.I dont feel i can cope just yet.How can i predict my sleep pattern?
Please know as well....the appointments are so lovely.They give you tea n coffe and are always lovely at the shaw trust thing.I understand the benefits with going back to work.You also get a bonus of 30 or 40 punds a week if they get you employed for a year,then it stops.They maybe able to help you if you explain..with advice too.
Goodluck and i'll probably be joining you soon.
Lots of love

P.s going dark here,but warm....maybe thunder god has heard me asking for that storm? xxxxxxxxxx

06-27-2009, 08:24 AM

I remember well back when you had to quit working, and how that affected you. I think Oluwa made some good points, and I agree with her ideas on this. But, it has to be maddening to have to jump through hoops like this. If I had to do some job interview thing to prove I'm sick and cannot work, I would be angry because I know that I can't work-I've tried many times to find something I could handle even part time, but my flares are nearly constant and so unpredictable that there's no way. Do what you have to do with them, and know that you are not a fraud. You have a very real disease, with real symptoms.


PS-Whatever you do, make sure it's what is right for your health. Your health and well being are the first priority above everything else. That letter from your Dr. might not be a bad idea.

tiggerlishus - Heidi
06-27-2009, 10:24 AM
hay my deary i know its hard and i'm with you all way like i said i been there done that know how stressful it is when it happen to me they told me i could go back to work full time!!
oluwa i take your points on but having been throu this and believe thou ISDM should go open minded should also go prepared like angel said go prepared i have also said get letter from consultant her appointment for that is not till after her job centre appointment that is why i mention maybe changing her appoinment so she can get letter from consultant and also if they are changes she can go jobcentre once and not have to go back i have also mention and still believe janey you should get letter from your work as i'm sure they will be helpful and we will talk more tomorrow at stoneys aout more people you maybe able to get letters off i'm not saying go in there all guns blaring just think you should also consider taking to tribunal which is what i done but only what ever you feel right for you maybe talk to an advocate first see what they think some like citerzens advice??
here for you babe anytime of day!!!!
makes me so angry they put you throu this i'm always saing they should do things differently i know it donn't help you but i think theyshould do several visits to your home over several weeks to asset your health over that time also they should talk to gps and consultants as they know us best!!! but hay hoo i'll gete off my soap box just remember don't panic it will allbe sorted babe see you tomorrow xxxxx

06-27-2009, 11:31 AM
Hello...ppl all over the world,

since i wrote this thread this morning, ive got 2 back up jobs availible for me, if it does come to me having to return to work.....thats that bit sorted!

Yes Angel that was the trust they told me about and off payment of 40 a week for a year! helpful but what happens about the rent and council tax in that situation?
I knew it would come to this, as ive spoken to all my friends they (the goverment) have to do their research to see weather the illness is genuine, i can see where they are coming from in that respect.

I agree Rob im seeing my GP day before i go to this interveiw i will be speaking to her then, she is extreamly helpful and used to work with my rhuemy so she knows whats best in my intrest, she will write me a letter if i ask her too, she already wrote one to my manager when i was working, my flares are unpredictable too, as many of my friends can say when im stressed (which unfortunatly in these situations i tend to do more) the flares come out with avengance, why should i have to prove im ill....my point excactly!

Heidi we will cover everything tmrw like you say, i am trying not to stress over this, as you kno what i was like on my medical assesment! what i dont get is, why after the medical did they then put my money up if they want me back into work? did i apply for the wrong benefit altogether should i of applied for the incapiticity one and the disability one? im soo confused with all of this!. see you tmrw, btw did you still want me to come with you to your consultant appointment on monday? if yes did you want me to come in with you and take notes so you dont forget? i dont mind either way hunny, i may take you to mine the week after next.


06-27-2009, 11:35 AM
Hi my love. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. It is not enough that you need to focus on being well but now you have to focus on how to prove to someone that, while you may look ok, what is on the inside really hurts. I am sorry. Like Rob, I also remember when you had to leave your job and how heart breaking it was for you. We talked about it and were right there with you through the entire process. You loved your job and the kids you worked with and leaving them just made you so sad. I also remember what caused you to make that decision and how at that point and even right now, your main focus is on being well and making sure that you were taking care of yourself. What ever happens keep focusing on that. Go to your interview and do what needs to be done but never loose sight on you and your health. Do not force yourself to work when you are sick and do not work on Tuesdays, it will just make it worse. You and only you know what you are capable of doing and do not let anyone else try to convince you otherwise. All in all, this is a personal decision you will make and no one, not even the state can force you to work when you are not well.Just keep talking to us and we will support you through this process you have to go through and we will support you if you have to go to work for a bit. You always have us to bounce ideas and worries off of. You are handling this very well and with a good head on your shoulders. Everyone has given wonderful advice and you cannot go wrong with any of it. We love you!!!!!!!!!!!