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View Full Version : A Little Reminder That WeAre Not Alone



Danica01
06-25-2009, 09:18 PM
Today was a tough day for me personally. I had a day full of doctors appointment and a list of questions for each one. The rheum and I had a heart to heart about SSD and we came to the conclusion, with the help of an attorney, that because of my age and education level ( I don't really get the significance of the two) I am better off not filing for SSD at this point in my life. I will be better off emotionally and mentally working even if it is only 15 hours a week. My doctor said that they frown on encouraging anyone to file for SSD in their entire office because they want you to be as active in the community and life in general as long as you really can. I can't say I agree and I can't say I disagree. So, we are going to treat my disease one day at a time and keep me healthy so that I can have an as normal life as I can.

The next doctor said my hot flashes are not normal and at 30 there is a strong possibility I am starting to go through menopause. I have no children yet and was planning on having a family in the next four years. I am not ready today and will not be ready tomorrow. So, we are looking at my bone density along with everything else under the sun. At least I will know what is going on and I will not feel weird anymore when I am so hot!!!!!!!!!! Better to be informed than to turn a cheek and look away. So, here we go! Tomorrow is filled with lots of blood work and lots of other tests to see why, at such a young age, I am having these issues. If this is going on, it actually started when I was in my twenties, I have only been 30 for 2 weeks!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, we ended the day at the store. I stepped on something and just figured I had gum and a rock stuck to the bottom on my shoe. I went through the grocery store trying to scrape it off without looking at what I was scraping off. I really didn't care what flavor the gum on the bottom of my shoe was! As we were walking to the car it was still stuck to the bottom of my shoe!!!!!!!!! I got in the car and looked at what was stuck to my shoe and you will never guess.............it was an angel. I had an angel pin stuck in the sole of my shoe. It was a very sad day for my young heart but the frown diminished as I realized what I had always known..............I never have been or will be alone through any of this.

:angelic:

Angel Oliver
06-26-2009, 08:32 AM
Oh Danica what a beautiful story.I am so glad this was meant for you,the angel pin.Someone giving you a big nudge like you said a reminder.You are such a loved lady here,a dear friend and even though you are having such a tough time,still make time for us all.
I so wish everything works out for you.I know none of us planned to be sick,but sometimes if we are on a path we think is right,but really its not meant for us, unfortunately things happen that we dont understand at the time....but in time it will all fall into place why our paths in life changed. I so hope you are able to have your children in the future and its not what they think.I hope the bloods tmrw are better than you think and they can help you.I hope you feel happiness again and less updet in your life soon...because YOU REALLY DESERVE IT!!
The path of life i took certainly didnt involve illness in any way,or being housebound n afraid of people,depression, anxietyfibro,anxiety,asthma,M.E,hairloss,swellings n pain....oh i was gonna buy my own home,holidays,white water rafting,dancing,karaoke...being popular.Obviously the powers that be have a different path planned for me....that now i hate,constantly wanting to turn back time,constantly wishing for my old life back.But im sure in time it'll all come clear...or i hope anyway...for the better.
I am obsessed with angels.Do angel card readings,my user name is Angel, i wear Angel perfume,collect orniments.
So im glad today you found the angel pin,in such a funny way too....your life will get easier and i think and wish it for you every day my friend.
Just know im always thinking of you and long for the day your life turns around for the better.
Lots of love n hugs
Amanda.xxxxx

abbasgirl
06-26-2009, 08:41 AM
Well, there needs to be a warning for this post... i had to scramble to get a kleenex. Your post is very touching. To have such a rotten day and get such a sweet reminder at the end. And it was there all that time too. Amanda makes a good point... about how things don't go as planned and it takes time.

I had a day like that recently that ended with a rainbow in the sky...and I haven't seen a rainbow in years so... that one choked me up. lol.

I've put you on my prayer list, sweetie. ((((Hugs)))) Keep on hangin' in there.

SandyR
06-26-2009, 01:18 PM
i love it when angels reach down from heaven to kiss our souls. I opened an email that I was going to throw away today and it was a faith angel. Something I need a lot of right now. I'm glad you finally looked at your foot to receive your message.
Sandy

kducks
06-26-2009, 04:08 PM
Not sure I agree with your doctor on the not filing for SSD because of your age. I was put on SSI at 19 because of the Lupus and the fact that I just could not work at all. I was just too sick. You need to do what you think is best for YOU and your health. I would never have been able to get better with trying to get up and get to work, even if it is part-time.

I'm sorry about the news that your body might not allow you to have children. I don't have any, but I made the decision not to have any for myself. Well with a little help from the Lupus that is. :wacko:

I love the angel pin story. I have always though we have angels watching over us. I got a tattoo of a angel on my back so I have mine with me at all times now. http://bestsmileys.com/angles/9.gif

iseedeadmonkeys
06-27-2009, 04:41 AM
Hey you my lovely friend,

I wanted to reply to this last night but felt to sick so here it is,
I love the story of your Angel, this is funny cause all day yesterday the word "angel" followed me around, and the cat!

Angel from BB got eveicted from the house,

My angel (cat) was being really loving to me (very unusaul)

Angel (from here) wrote to me

Your thread (being this one)

Angel of the night (song) came on the t.v

and Some random word i read on a truck on my way home (Angel)

And I was watching Charmed before i went to bed, and we all know Angels appear on that prog alot!!

Was all a bit funny towards the end of the night, ( and just now, no word of a lie im watching Q music t.v and that jack black song has just come on "tribute" lol)

So i think When times are hard you do get little reminders that Angels are watching over you, its a great feeling, and reasuriing, you then look at your life differently aye?

Also can i just add, when we are not well our friends on the other side keep a close eye on us too.....FACT!

All my love
Jane
xxx

Danica01
06-27-2009, 12:19 PM
You all are so precious to me and make me feel so much better just by being a part of my life. You all are my angels everyday!

Amanda:

You are right, none of us chose to go down this path and life has really thrown all of us a fair share of fast balls but we dodge them and keep moving. We will all get our life back. It may be a little different than before but it will be ours and it will be designed around our illnesses so we can be the happiest we can be. I know I will be happy someday......I think I will start today! You made me smile and so you need to know that you contributed to my happiness today. I am sending you my angel and hope it finds you smiling and in a restful, peaceful state. Thank you for being an angel in my life :hug:

abbasgirl:

It is wonderful that on our hardest days we are able to see our angels touch our lives. My was through a pin on the bottom of my shoe and yours was a beautiful rainbow in the sky. Both of them made us smile and reminded us that there is still life to be lived and people to love. If there is one thing I am thankful for when it comes to our disease is that it has helped me see things more clearly. I feel I can see the good in the world a little more than the evil. I am able to see signs being sent to me and I am able to love others more than I could ever imagine. I would never want to loose any of that. Thank you for sharing your story with me, you also contributed to my happiness today :hug:

Sandy:

It is funny where our little message are found but when we finally find them, it changes our day and maybe even our outlook on our lives. I am thankful that my eyes and heart are big enough to receive such beautiful messages. You also contributed to my happiness today :hug:

kducks:

I am with you on feeling very undecided about everything with SSD. It is something I am going to have to look deep in side of myself and find the right choice. It is frustrating and very sad that we have to go through so much pain and suffering before we are able to claim the help we truly deserve from the beginning. That is an ugly part of our disease and something that I will have to learn to deal with in a way that I can. I am sad about the prospect of not having children but I also know that what happens is part of my life plan. If I cannot biologically have kids, well, there are so many children out there that need loving homes and unconditional love to grow. I know I can give that to a little one. I am so happy to hear you have your angel with you at all times! You are always being looked over and followed through out your day. You have also contributed to my happiness today :hug:

Jane:

My love! You have been such an amazing part of my life over the last seven months. We found this site at the same time and found each other too!!!!! It seems to me that angels have been following us around for a long time! Lets keep our eyes open and our hearts open because not only do they make us feel better but they make us laugh too!!!! You are a part of my happiness everyday! Giant hugs to you!!!!!!!!!!!

iseedeadmonkeys
06-27-2009, 12:37 PM
Aww Danica you are too sweet,

I forgot to say to you, your page on rhupert the fish made me really smile i was on there last night as well and have to have a chuckle everytime i see his pics.....spesh the one with the monkey casually leaning on the fish bowl......how funny , i love yours and Tim's sence of humour, im soo happy you came into my life too, strange still i think we actaully joined this forum the excact same day, we noth the same age, and we both started mtx around the same time......thats one solid friendship to have my love :yes:

All my love and hugs

Jane
XXX

Danica01
06-27-2009, 10:19 PM
Aww Danica you are too sweet,

I forgot to say to you, your page on rhupert the fish made me really smile i was on there last night as well and have to have a chuckle everytime i see his pics.....spesh the one with the monkey casually leaning on the fish bowl......how funny , i love yours and Tim's sence of humour, im soo happy you came into my life too, strange still i think we actaully joined this forum the excact same day, we noth the same age, and we both started mtx around the same time......thats one solid friendship to have my love :yes:

All my love and hugs

Jane
XXX

I think you are right......we were meant to find each other and our friendship grew so quickly! You have been my methotrexate buddy!!!!! It has been so nice to have someone to talk to about the side effects, especially because we go through them at the same time :redface: I always look forward to hearing from you and I have to admit, life is less lonely knowing that I have a wonderful friends so far away! Thank you so much for joining Rupert's page! He would have loved you and snuggled with you :-) He was a good fish; therefore, it only felt natural to create a memorial for him.......hehehehehehe! Did you enjoy Tim's message about running on the treadmill with Rupert????? If you didn't see it you will have to go back and read it!!!!!! Have a good night love and we will chat again tomorrow :wavey:

Danica01
06-29-2009, 09:00 PM
Sending an angel to all of you tonight.......sleep well my friends :sleeping1:

mountaindreamer
06-29-2009, 09:14 PM
hi danica,

i just read your "angel in the shoe" story, and i was so touched...you were definitely touched by an angel that day...some one was very persistent that you know you are loved. I am so glad that you experienced this event....shows how special you are.

hope you are sleeping peacefully tonight.