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BonusMom
06-14-2009, 10:37 PM
Hello again everyone. Sorry that I've been gone of late, but I was tapering off of Prednisone, seeing my daughter through prom and high school graduation (entertaining/hosting out of state guests and planning the perfect party) and then discovered that my Bonus Daughter's step-dad was recently arrested for domestic violence (against her mother). We'll be talking with our attorney tomorrow. Unfortunately, it's not entirely unexpected as the step-dad has 8 drunk driving convictions, has been in and out of prison since he turned 18 and a prior arrest for domestic violence. The really sad thing is that BD has been holding this all inside her since it happened on June 2--because her mom told her not to tell. When my DH asked her about it, she just started bawling. It just breaks my heart. Bonus Daughter asked her mom if she was going to allow step-dad to live at the house when he gets out of jail, to which she responded "Yes, because I love him." What's that teaching a 13 year old about love?

Now that I'm off the Prednisone, my feet are hurting a bit, but not bad enough to start up again. I've had some issues with my tummy of late, but nothing like it was three years ago. My sleep pattern is questionable and I never know how I'm going to do--even with my buddy, Vick. I tried an imitaition of dear Vick and I swear I'll never betray him again! There's something about the real Nyquil that just works better for me.

My BFF decided to postpone the move to Texas as her daughter's father was not supportive (READ: angry). She'll revisit the issue in a few months.

I found a wonderful dentist in my area whose mother had Sjogren's and who taught at a SF dental school. Their clinic treated a lot of HIV/Aids patients, so he's very familiar with Sjogren's/dry mouth and all of the challenges that go with it. Even better, both my dental insurance and DH's are contracted providers so I'm getting all the dental care that I've put off for many years. Woo Hoo!

My eyes have not burned as much as they did when I was on the computer CONSTANTLY at work. I cannot believe how they burned. And yes, my tongue stuck to the top of my mouth because I was so dry. I keep trying to find the perfect product to rid myself of Sjogren's, but alas, I don't think it exists.

Several months ago I posted about my PCP wanting me to get a second opinion about the SLE. I discussed it with my rheumy--telling her that she needs to educate the PCP about the SLE critera. She said that the 4 (or 5, I forget) symptoms of the 11 on the "list" is for clinical studies and even if you don't have 4 or 5/11, you can still have it. She was pretty incredulous that the PCP would question my labs and physical symptoms. If the PCP pushes a second opinion, I'll be looking for a new one becuase I have total confidence with the rheumy.

I thank you all for sending me private messages and am truly sorry that I've not responded. With the budget crisis, we are all expected to do the same amount of work in less time, so I've been pretty fatigued when I'm home. Oh, and my DH is racing and I'm on his "crew" (I take my responsibility of putting the tear offs on his visor very seriously). BD is responsible for removal of the mud from the chassis :)

I will try very hard to get back in the swing of things and stay connected with all of you wonderful members. I've missed the connection and know that I am coping with everything because of what I've learned here.

Take care.

gina
06-15-2009, 06:24 AM
Sorry about all that mess. does the 13year old want to live with you instead, can she?

i wouldn't any child living with that type of person.

my middle child we got custody of her dad was herion addice mom alcholic so we went to court and got custody of her when she was 9.

we just went thru the prom thing and graduation party no how you feel about being over whelmed and sick at same time. but when we need it we find the strength to over come our illness to be there when we need to be.

hope things work out for you. i will keep you in my thoughts.

sending you hugs:yes:

BonusMom
06-15-2009, 11:01 AM
Thanks for the understanding post, Gina. It can be overwhelming. I just don't need the stress sending me in to a flare.

Funny that you are an "alley cat" (on the forum)...that's my nick name for BD.....Ali-Cat.

Angel Oliver
06-15-2009, 02:59 PM
Oh we've missed you and you have been going through so much.Im sending you gentle hugs and hope you get good times ahead.

lots of love
Amanda.xxxx

mountaindreamer
06-15-2009, 08:53 PM
hi lady,

i have really missed you. what a time you have had....i am so sorry to hear about bonus daughter, i know this has made your heart hurt for her....i hope there is a solution, and that she is not exposed to any more of those examples.

way to go about the PCP/////your rheumy is one of the good ones, so you are making the right choice. Even if the PCP disagrees with her, this should be dealt with between the two of them....you don't need the extra stress of being in the middle.

congrats on getting off of the prednisone, hope you continue to feel ok.

anyway,, i am sooooo glad you are back, take care, and we'll talk soon.

Saysusie
06-16-2009, 10:49 AM
It is so good to see you back and to hear that you are doing well while no longer on Prednisone. I truly hope that those symptoms do not recur.
I am sorry to hear the difficulties that your "Bonus Daughter" is having with her parents. Her mother sounds like a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome and this is not likely to change unless she gets help. It might help to tell your BD about this syndrome so that she can better understand why her mother is behaving this way.
I am glad to hear that you are now able to get competent dental care! That is an area that we seem to neglect when caring for our Lupus.
I do hope that everything works out for you and that you continue to feel well. We completely understand how work, your home, and your health can eat up all of your time. I'm just glad that you popped in to let us know how you are! I wish you the very best!

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

Rastagirl
06-16-2009, 03:27 PM
Hi Bonusmom...

So good to hear from you. Wow, life has been keeping you on your toes. That's quite a load to deal with. I hope things will work out for the best (for everyone) and your life will settle enough to keep your Lupus quiet. That's definitely good news about getting off the Prednisone. Congrats on that!

What kind of racing is your DH doing? Being the wife of a racer husband myself, and a card carrying member of his Pit Crew...not to mention Car Owner....makes for one fun hobby during racing season. I am most pleased to hear you take your crewing duties seriously....the pit area is no place to be messing around... :laugh2:

My personal crew duties involve 'Car Beautification'... i.e. detail work, especially tires and wheels prior to the race, windshield perfection, and checking the hood pins, twice before a race session. I also back that all up with proper nutrition provided at required intervals, i.e. sandwiches and snacks......as well as providing an ice chest of cold brewskies for after the final race. :friday: Oh yeah....and I'm really good at bleeding brakes. :)

So happy to hear from you Lana....thanks for the update.

Hugs,

:cool2: Lori