View Full Version : So I threw a clipboard . . . Sleep Deprevation!
05-13-2009, 02:54 AM
Well. I had major surgery on the 24th of April. I spent two days in the hospital and went home. Was home for two days and got put back in the hospital for an infection. Was there 24 hours and went home. Was home for two days and got put back in the hospital for staph infection was there for 7 days and now I am home AGAIN!! So here is my dilema. On about day 4 of the last visit, I complained to the nurse that I had not had a good nights sleep since BEFORE my surgery. (Everybody and their dog wakes you up in the hospital at ALL hours . . . food people, lab, vitals every 4 hours, medications, IV changes etc.) The most I had slept was about 2 hours at one time. She agreed to close my door and post a note that said anyone wanting in my room would have to go thru her and she would make sure that I would not be disturbed. . . Didnt happen. I had food service show up, the cleaning lady, people that had the wrong angie, the chaplain, the magazine lady, and finally a CNA. (all in about a two hour time period) So just as I would drift off to sleep . . . In walked someone else. So I paged the nurse and asked why she hadnt held up her end of the bargain. She rudely slammed a clipboard down on the table next to me and started ranting about making everyone happy. So I picked up the clipboard and started yelling back. Next thing I know, I am kicking her out of my room and I threw the clipboard at the wall. My husbands jaw hit the floor in total shock. I am a very non-confrontational, pacifistic, dont believe in physical violence, dont EVER raise my voice type of person. I do not know what came over me! I seriously think that I was SO sleep deprived that I became evil Angie!! Can sleep deprivation really do that to a person and do I owe the nurse an apology?:skeptical:
Yes lack of sleep can cause anger you are so tired the slightes thing ticks you off.
i would tell the nurse i was sorry but also explain to her she said she would help you sleep and you were very cranky by not being able to sleep. Hopes this helps.
05-13-2009, 05:17 AM
I am so sorry, you had been put through that...hospitals can be crazy.
Regarding the apology...if you feel you should then I would, otherwise it will plague your heart and mind with guilt, perhaps even shame. You'll feel relief and your spirit will return to feeling happy if you do.
If you feel you don't and it doesn't interfere with your spirit, then I wouldn'
And for you, head hugs and get well wishes...squeeze, Angie...
05-13-2009, 06:11 AM
ah yes.. sleep deprivation.. that will definately cause a meltdown.
Interesting though, that only yesterday I was prompted to register on this site to see if anyone else was experiencing what can only be referred to as a tantrum, because, like you, I am the conflict resolver, the one who always keeps her head, stays calm, non-confrontational and yet.... there I was telling a dear friend he could go beep beep beep! Do you think this could be in anyway associated with lupus??
05-13-2009, 07:07 AM
i worked in a hospital and i know they're just trying to do their jobs, but it does get frustrating. i worked with kids and it was very frustrating to their parents when we had to wake a kid up because they had to calm them back down and get them back to sleep after we left the room. i know your frustration and it's ok. you'll probably want to explain what's been going on and maybe give her a small apology. i hope you get some sleep soon.
Sleep deprivation can do strange things to a persons personality and demeanor. I remember times when I was in the Army and we'd be up for three days straight with only a half hour cat nap a couple of times during that period-it sucked.
As far as an apology, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I'll tell you what I would do. I have no problem apologizing to people when I know that I was in the wrong. Had I been in that situation, I would definitely feel as though I did nothing wrong-so there would be no sorry's from me.
Follow your instincts, and do what you think is right. You are in a situation where your anger had a definite cause, but the nurse's anger did not. If she get's pissed off by being around people who are difficult to make happy or deal with, then she's in the wrong line of work. I know this whole situation has really been wearing you down, you have every right to be upset.
05-13-2009, 11:15 AM
Crazy things happen in the hospital. I think the nurse o you an apology.
05-13-2009, 11:35 AM
AWWWW, sorry Froggal about your hospital stay!UGH! YES, lack of sleep definately makes us cranky! :grumpy: I feel that way too when i dont get my full amount of sleep. I agree that if it makes you feel more at peace to appologize then you should, but only if you feel you were in the wrong. It sounds as if the nurse didnt DO HER part, so she is at fault in that way. I hope you can catch up on your sleep!:sleepy:XXXXXXXXXXXX
05-13-2009, 12:18 PM
IMHO you do not owe anyone an apology. That nurse was being a b*tch and deserved what she got. I am the same way, I really try to suck it up, I pray for peace in my soul and avoid confrontation. Those that know me know I have a very long fuse, it takes a lot to light it. But you better run if you do.
You are going through hell and deserve a little more respect than that.
After one of my surgeries my first husband who was absolutely useless in helping me with the three children or anything at all, learned that. I was so exhausted, surgery was hell, kids were hungry and he is drinking beer with his brother. I became super fed-up woman, threw a heavy oak kitchen chair across the room and threw his beer bottle at the wall. The bottle did not break but left a perfect beer bottle indentation in the wall that served as a reminder.
Hang in there,
Ayah the peaceful : )
05-13-2009, 12:56 PM
I feel bad to when thing like that happen. But I'm trying to stop apologizing for things I'm not reasonable for.
05-13-2009, 01:38 PM
Yeah Becky! I too have worked on that! LOL If i AM at fault i have NO PROBLEM admitting it, BUT, i will NOT appologize if i am not at fault!:no:
05-13-2009, 02:18 PM
When faced with the same situation all too recently (life-threatening sickness, major surgery, long hospital stay) I too had a melt down. One day, I looked at my sister and hubby and said "I am a human being here. I need to bathe, and I need to rest. Get these people out of my room." I said this while "these people" were in my room. They were told not to come in until we said they could come in. If I hadn't felt so bad, I would have collapsed in laughter at the looks on their faces...as if they could not believe a patient could actually tell them to "get out." Oh, they tried to get back in...GRRRRRRRRR.....so they waited until we opened the door again.
While I understood they had a job to do, I found it to be totally ridiculous that the staff could not coordinate certain necessary vitals checks, etc. in order to provide me (you know, the one with all of the tubes sticking out of my body?), with some much-needed peace and quiet so that I could rest, which was vital to my recovery, and which would ultimately result in getting my grouchy self out of their hair! It's not rocket science, is it?
My whole point in saying all of this is to tell you to forgive yourself for throwing the clipboard. Apologize if you believe you need to, but remember, patients have rights too....including the right to sleep. It's your life, it's your health, and it's your dollar. Don't you ever forget it. And don't let them forget it either!
Hope you are recovering and resting well now.
sick n tired
05-13-2009, 02:30 PM
First of all...she is the one who set you off...slamming her clip board down and you are ill? What an idiot...someone might have thrown it at her...it is called the mirror reaction...someone screams at you and you scream back...sleep deprivation makes me a different person that even I don't recognize...I can see me doing exactly what you did and I am the kind of person who wouldn't ever do something like that, either...So no, in my opinion, you do not owe her an apology...she screwed up royally and if she were honest, she would know that, too....
I'd like to add something to my previous post.
You know, I spent many years turning the other cheek. I went out of my way to appease people. I apologized for many things, and in hindsight, much of the time I was not the one who should have been saying they were sorry. I like to be cool, calm, and reasonable with people. My father has a saying- "There are enough a--holes in the world, why contribute to the cause". That's sound advice to be sure, but do you know what all that appeasement got me? It got me more disrespect, and abuse from an awful lot of people.
Don't get me wrong, knowing ones faults, and admitting mistakes are good, healthy things. But there is a certain segment of society that doesn't care about any of that. Those people will do nothing but keep on pushing people until someone gets in their face, and pushes back. Sometimes it gets ugly, and you need to push back hard, but that's something the person brought on themselves. I recently had a very public, somewhat ugly confrontation with a Neurologist. He was being an abusive bully to a person who was scared, and only looking for reassurance, and answers. I questioned what I had done after it was all over, and I came to the conclusion that he had it coming. I didn't start the situation that ended in me tearing him a new one in front of all of his co-workers, he did.
You didn't start the situation in which you got angry and threw the clipboard Angie, she did. She got what was coming to her, and you have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. She asked for it, and finally, she got what she deserved.
05-13-2009, 04:39 PM
YOu ALWAYS say it SO WELL ROB! Once again, kudos to you!:arms:
05-15-2009, 09:25 AM
Sleep depreviation can be an intrusive thing. I was once in the hospital many years ago with a blood clot and the same thing was happening to me. I couldn't get any sleep and everybody and their grandmother kept coming into my room. I too, ordered everyone out of my room so I could get some sleep. It worked temporarily and I finally got a few hours reprieve from the constant comings and goings in my hospital room. I was in the hospital for about a week and a week is a long time to go without getting a good nights sleep.
To make matters worse, I kept asking for my hair to be washed. It was dirty and it itched. I was used to washing my hair on a daily basis. They ignored my request to have it washed. So against Drs. orders I got up out of bed and washed it myself. I was young and headstrong at that time. The Dr. told me I could have had the clot break off and lodge in my heart or lung. I said, "Oh well, No one was taking my request seriously." After that, they listened to me. I am sure I was considered the uncooperative, crazy patient.
I don't recommend someone going to the extremes that I did, but sleep depreviation was instrumental, I believe, in making me go off the deep end.
05-15-2009, 11:18 AM
Hey Drinkofwtr, at least you had clean hair! LOL
05-15-2009, 08:38 PM
Well I have to say that the nurse is to do what she can to help each and every patient. Her comments (regardless of her stress level). Now I have to say as a nurse myself you can't expect to get sleep in a hospital. It just doesn't happen. But you completely had the right sleep deprived or not to give the nurse a piece of your mind.
A few years ago I was trying to get in touch with my nephrologist and the nurse was not helping this occur. I was really really sick and I chewed her out for not doing her job. I told her that if I was in the hospital he woud call back right away. But because I was at home she would have him take his good ol time getting back to me and I wasn't having it. I will let someone know what is up if they push me enough. I'm a pretty queit person myself.
So kuddos to you for standing up for yourself. She was just lucky you didn't throw that clipboard at her head!!!
05-15-2009, 09:26 PM
well, once again,i am late joining in on a thread because it just showed up.....i don't know where these things hide, but i sure can't find them until they want me to.
hospital stays and rest do not go together. i agree, it is so frustrating, but i also know that certain things have to be done at specific time intervals. it is a never-ending cycle that requires the patient to be constantly interrupted.
i agree with others, you do not OWE the nurse an apology, but if an apology will ease your concerns, and will make YOU feel better, then go ahead....do it for yourself, not anyone else.
Sleep deprevation can definitely cause irritability, but i have also noticed that i get really testy just before a flare. This is actually one of my notices that a flare is coming on.,
so sorry you were in the hospital for so long. How are you feeling now?
05-16-2009, 12:40 AM
I am still feeling like total crap . . . they just cannot get this infection under control! I will be back in the hospital on monday if I have not improved over the weekend. I did fail to mention in the original post that this was the same nurse that refused to change my IV site because she had changed it the day before!! I was blowing veins left and right! They were giving me very strong medicine, and, I have extremely weak veins because of my chemo history. Well, one day I called her and told her that my IV site was bleeding and burning as the fluid went thru and she got mad! She was ranting about how long it took the day before to find a vein! I have found out that if I do go back in the hospital that I can request that she does not take part in my care. Thank you all for your advice . . . I APPRECIATE EVERYONES OPINIONS!! You are all SO great!:yes: I am STILL angry about the situation and have not decided about the apology yet!! I am still calling her the nurse from HE**! I am sure if the devil needs a nurse she will be atop the list!!!
05-16-2009, 02:15 AM
I am hopeful you will not have to return to the hospital. I can relate to the problems with the i.v.'s burning and having the veins collapse...I had one nurse (during my recent hospital stay) actually start laughing because my vein was moving around and she just couldn't get the i.v. in. Laughing while she was jabbing my arm again and again. We told her to go get someone qualified to put in an i.v. or we would go find that person ourselves. Needless to say, she left and we never saw her again. The someone who showed up was a nurse who specialized in difficult i.v. placement - got it right in the first time. Demand they find someone who has experience placing i.v.'s in patients with a history of chemo, etc.
Also - very important - I had one great nurse who told me that she could slow down the push rate or speed at which the medicine was actually entering my arm through the i.v. site and that this would help with the burning. This simple action made all the difference in the world. I made every nurse thereafter slow the speed as much as the doctor would allow. It took a little longer to administer the dose, but it literally saved my arm. If you have to go back in, discuss that possibility with your doctor.
Keep me posted.
05-16-2009, 02:22 AM
Thank you Pearl. They did slow the IV down about as much as they could, and you are right it did help. My veins are just shot after months and months of treatment!! Thank you for your kind thoughts!!
05-16-2009, 08:40 AM
after you added the part about the iv, my vote is that an apology is not appropriate....how insensitive she was, and that is not a result of you throwing the clipboard....
i hope you do not have to return to the hospital, hopefully the infection will get better this weekend. Please keep us posted, and take care of yourself.
05-20-2009, 12:34 AM
Well, I did have to go back to the hospital, but only for 24 hours. That is like a cakewalk anymore! I did have to see the nurse and she did make an awfully rude comment to me about being "the patient from hell" I said that is pretty funny because I have been calling you "the nurse from hell" Well, now that we have established we are both from hell, why dont you go back there, and on your way, send me someone that has a little bedside manner!! I did speak to the charge nurse, and my husband laughed so hard his stomach hurt by morning. I cant complain!!
05-20-2009, 04:10 AM
you go girl,
makes me smile to hear you speak out for yourself.....i wish the nurse would truly listen to you, but she is probably too self-involved to even question why one of her patients would consider her "the nurse from hell". Also, I am appalled that she would say this to you, glad you reported her.
what did they do for you in the hospital? Did they do a better job of finding a vein for IV? How are you feeling today?
You should start talking to her about how you just want to watch the damn baseball game-just to mess with her. You could have a new nametag made up that says Nurse Ratched, and present it to her as a gift upon leaving that place. (shameless Cuckoo Nest humor)
I'm afraid that if I were in your position, my general rule about being polite to ladies-even if they are being incredibly rude, would no longer apply. What a b.....
05-20-2009, 06:37 AM
Sorry to hear you had to return to the hospital. Can't believe the nurse called you that. You might report her to the nursing board in your area. That will get her attention! Glad you stuck up for yourself. Now take care and get better!
05-20-2009, 08:07 AM
My sister-in-law who is a nurse, sent me theses a while back...
Did you hear about the nurse who died and went straight to hell? It took her two weeks to realize she wasn't at work!
You know you're a nurse...
...when you find yourself checking out other customer's veins in grocery waiting lines.
...you know the smell of different diarrhea to identify it.
...Your finger has gone places you never thought possible.
05-20-2009, 03:28 PM
Too funny! Once again, your humor saves the day!
05-20-2009, 03:52 PM
Thinking of you and sending you hugs .xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
sick n tired
05-20-2009, 09:01 PM
Oh my goodness...what a good comeback...she had it coming to her...I hope the charge nurse had something to say to this idiot nurse...as a whole, nurses are caring and compassionate compared to doctors...but this one is a real loser...I am glad you were able to give it right back to her...I might have been much ruder than you were...
05-20-2009, 10:03 PM
It just actually felt really good to stand up to a bully!! The more I think about my long stay in the hospital, the more I realize some of the things that she did were just so inappropriate. When I spoke to the charge nurse she was not even surprised when I told her what had happened. She even knew the name of the nurse before I told her! She thanked me for being brave enough to file a formal complaint, and also said that it was really helpful because she has been trying to build a case agaisnt the nurse for 2 years! I, being very much a "push-over" felt so empowered! It is like I stood up for all the sick people that this lady has just treated like crap for . . . who knows how long!!! I think I need to start carrying a clipboard to remind me that I dont have to be pushed around! (okay that is just a little excessive!) Maybe I could carry marshmallows . . . At least if I threw those I wouldnt hurt anyone! (and it would be way less expensive!):laugh:
05-20-2009, 10:08 PM
Well you had more right to be angry than her
1/ She was being paid to be there and you weren't. In fact you were paying to be there.
2/ You were sick and she wasn't. You had a serious health problem and she didn't even have a cold - she wouldn't be allowed at work if she did.
3/ At least you didn't throw a clipboard at her...
Let's just put it down to an unfortunate incident that if anyone brings up in the future you should just say "I have no precise recollection of this event"...
I wouldn't bother apologising just do something good for carma- maybe do something nice for a nurse because generally when they aren't waking us up they are keeping us alive god love 'em!! Most importantly don't beat yourself up over it.. there is no point and no one thinks you are a bad person. Take care xx