View Full Version : Not Myself

04-16-2009, 07:57 AM
Hi everyone,

I seem to be in the middle of a rather weird flare. Bad fog combined with a total disconnect between my brain, mouth, and fingers. And, an odd sort of depression like I've never felt before. It's hard to explain, but I don't think it's caused by any sort of stress or emotional reason. It came on suddenly with the flare and brain fog. In other words, I know I shouldn't be depressed about anything in my life right now, but I am. I'm used to having regular flares, and I don't necessarily get depressed because of them. I'm kind of used to it, or so I thought. Anyway, If I come across kind of weird in posts or messages, I apologize. I'm just not myself right now. I made an an appointment with my neurologist ahead of my usual monthly visit. I see him Monday. Half the time I don't know if these things are caused by Lupus, or by MS. Don't know if the neuro can really do anything, but I guess it makes me feel better to know I'm at least going to see someone about this. Anyway, thanks for listening.


04-16-2009, 08:15 AM
hey mate...
all I can say is.....:

CHIN UP.....

Hope u feel better soon and u get over this weird flare....

Take care mate....

04-16-2009, 08:53 AM
He Rob;
First, you have not come across weird in any of your posts. I agree with you that it may be CNS involvement due to you Lupus AND your MS. So, try not to fret too much about the low tide in your mood right now. You may, also, need to have some meds adjusted.
Whatever the case, just know that so many of us have been there...done that! You are not alone when you have these unexplained low tides. I understand and want you to know that I am here for you!

Peace and Blessings

04-16-2009, 09:07 AM
Hey Rob

Soz to hear you feeling like that, i get them lasts a few days, i have no reason to be feelin like it as things go well but i just feel so emotional (not nessercerily miserable) just upset, angry or whatever, is odd how it affects ya head like i know, i not come accross any "ouch" posts but if i do i dont really look at them like anything, coz i know the way i feel most days and assume everyone feeling the same,

Keep it real my friend
all my love

04-16-2009, 09:26 AM
Sorry hang in there. Hope Doctor can help.:yes: I've been feeling really bad lately too.:yes: Hope warmer weather will help both of us.:laugh:

04-16-2009, 09:51 AM
I hope you feel better soon. That is exactly I felt a year ago. Lupus does something in the brain that kind of trigger like depression even you do not have anything stressful going on. I have not completely recovered. it was so weird and very hard to explain that what is going on. Have you ever looked into YOGA?

tiggerlishus - Heidi
04-16-2009, 09:55 AM
Hay rob sorry to hear your feeling this at mo!!! i know exactly what you mean i think we all must go throu those phases hope you come thou other end soon huge hugs H xx

04-16-2009, 10:22 AM
Hi Rob...

You never come across as anything but helpful and caring. Oh, and very intelligent. No worries...we all understand the struggle to get our heads together and put words in a post in spite of brain fog and depression.

I truly understand your frustration...when you get used to the forms of depression and the way they affect you...what brings them on...how they feel, etc. it can make you question what the heck is going on, when that particular symptom comes out of nowhere and just feels different this time. It's like you had it figured out and partly understood....and then it changes on you. Makes you take 2 steps backward and have to try to figure things out yet again. There is frustration in that.

And there is frustration in a disease that is constantly changing things up on us. There is never really a time that we are sure of ourselves with this illness...sure that we understand what's going on with us and our bodies. And I hate that about it. I hate the guessing game we play all the time. Leaves me with a very unsettled, unsure of myself feeling and I've never liked that part of this crappy illness. And, my friend, you've got another crappy one too. MS. That one throws the same curveball at you. So, the way I look at it, you're getting a double whammy compared to the rest of us, when it comes to trying to sort out what's causing what.

Glad to know your Neurologist can work you in sooner, and I'll be hoping he can help you sort this out. While you're waiting till Monday, go ahead and lean on us. I know you're a big guy, but if you lean on ALL of us together, we'll hold you up and get you through. That's OUR Lupus Specialty!

Many hugs to you.... :hug:


Lori :heart:

04-16-2009, 01:58 PM
hi rob,

i agree with all of my predecessors, your posts are always compassionate, supportive and helpful...so please do not worry about anything around here.

do you have a pretty good deal going with your neuro dr....i am so glad he could get you in on Monday...please take care of yourself until then, and by all means, our shoulders as a group are pretty strong.

04-16-2009, 04:25 PM
AWWWW, so sorry for you're ooky feelings. I too understand completely. I get this alot Rob, so dont feel funny about it. And i agree with the others, you are GREAT in so many ways and we all understand because we all have our loopie moments too LOL Im sorry it feels different this time, i know this can be scary. Please keep us informed and GOOD LUCK MY FRIEND:cute:

Angel Oliver
04-16-2009, 04:36 PM

You only ever come across as caring and someone with a huge heart,so dont ever worry.We are here for you! Always! You have has such a rough time of it this year, but hopefully the neuro will hopefully be able to sort you out to make you feel a little better. You just take your time and rest. You have so much to deal with, we know it must be so frustrating and scary for you too.
You know where we'll be when you can get here.When your'e not here, we know....so we send you private messages instead...and DONT expect a reply.Just to keep you company.

Gentle hugs

04-17-2009, 11:28 AM
Rob, i am sooooooooooo sorry youre feeling like that! We can relate somewhat. I hope you feel better really soon! I will be praying for you! Hugs Kathy

04-17-2009, 05:47 PM
Hope your feeling better today. Have a nice weekend!!!

04-17-2009, 06:12 PM
Rob, I absolutely look forward to reading your posts because you are always so upbeat and compassionate. You also always share so much of yourself in a way that makes things so personal that a person cant help but feel at home here. It hurts me to know that you are sad. My thought and prayers are with you and I hope that you start feeling like yourself again soon. As for coming across different in your posts . . . I would have never guessed if you hadnt have said anything. I am glad you did tell. Hopefully it made you feel better!

04-18-2009, 12:35 AM
Head Huggies Rob....

Even when we were healthy, the mind slips into a depressed state..it comes and goes, hopefully this is what you are experiencing, Rob just a bit a of the blahs, ickas...

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building.

One turns to the other and says: "You know last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building - by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.

The 2nd Man says: "What are you a nut? There is no way in hell that could happen."

1st Man: "No it's true let me prove it to you." So he gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and careens to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

The 2nd Man tells him: "You know I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke."

1st Man: "No, I'll prove it again" and again he jumps and hurtles toward the street where the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.

2nd Man: "Well what the hell, it works, I'll try it." So he jumps over the balcony, plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors...and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.'

Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker: "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk.

It's the weekend...I hope you feel better starting with this moment...


04-18-2009, 06:01 AM
Awwww Rob,

I am so sorry, that you feel bad. You are always here for all of us, so be sure, that all of us are here for you. I just want to squeeze you ( like a mother, of course).


04-18-2009, 06:37 AM
Thanks so much everyone for all the words of encouragement. You guys always come through when people need a friend. And Oluwa, I almost spilled my coffee laughing at the Superman joke. That's one of the best one's I've ever heard!


04-18-2009, 07:26 AM
rob, i agree, Oluwa's joke gave me my first laugh of the morning, and i can't wait to share this one. We can always count on her.

Rob, i hope you are feeling better, and that you have a great weekend....stay away from handcuffs while you are in an icky mood.

04-20-2009, 08:41 AM
I am glad it made you smile Rob...I found it online...feeling a bit not so blah-zay today?

Spring is popping up all over the place here...how's about there or still dirty snow banks in the yard...

Spring..summer always good things to look forward to, eh? Airshows, boating...soon, you'll be able to enjoy all those things...


04-20-2009, 10:02 AM

Just checking in to send you well wishes. Hang in there. We are all pulling for you my friend.


04-20-2009, 11:22 AM
It's nothing to worry about you're just going through the change.

When you see your fangs grow and the hair on your knuckles get really course and furry, when it's a full moon, lock yourself in the house, put a DVD of season 2 Jerry Seinfield episodes on and you'll feel normal in a few days.

The howling is transitional.

No worries.