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BonusMom
04-10-2009, 02:40 PM
My dearest friend of 22 years just told me she and her nine year old daughter (who calls me her "second" mom) are going to move to Texas (from Cali) to be closer to her brother and his family. We've seen each other through everything--marriage, births of children, graduations, divorce and everything mixed in. It's so selfish of me to wish that she would stay here because I'll be lost without her, but I understand why she's compelled to go.

How can I not blubber constantly over this and remain supportive?

Angel Oliver
04-10-2009, 03:23 PM
Oh i feel your pain!

I know it will be hard and so upsetting when she goes, but there are many things you can do to still feel close.I know its not going to be the same as in person but here are some things to think about:-

1) Down load a thing called Skype. Its free and easy to download.Buy a cheap mic and cam for your computer. Then you can see each other and talk in real time like a telephone, except you can see them. Arrange a set time each day or week to catch up with each other.Soon, you will accept she is gone, but feel like she has'nt because you can see and speak to her still.

2) Put a bit of money away each month, so in time, maybe when she is settled, you can go and visit.How fab that reunion will be!

3) Send text messages on the phone.

4) Send funny cards with messages in it.

I know i am probably not helping much now, as you will feel so sad.But i hope in some way it makes you think.So many solutions to this.You are not alone and i think your friend will be feeling the same you know.

Gentle hugs
Angel.xxxxx

hatlady
04-10-2009, 03:54 PM
My dearest friends moved away from here to California about 4 years ago. There were tears all around, but they had to go because of jobs.

We keep in touch by phone - about once a week, sometimes more. We e-mail. They each blog (they're computer people) and have a blog about their almost 2 year old daughter which is filled with pictures. And one of them "Twitters" - so I keep up there as well.

Its been a few years. I still miss them terribly, and feel for you, BonusMom, because I know how hard it is to lose a heart-friend. But we are still very close friends, I've been so happy that we could maintain that bond over the miles.

Rastagirl
04-10-2009, 04:27 PM
Gentle Hugs to you, Bonusmom. I'm sorry. :crying6:

Twenty-two years, that's a very long relationship...and so many memories. When you've known someone that long and been through all the ups and downs of each other's lives...every milestone...you really become intertwined with them and your heart comes to rely on their understanding and comfort, as well as their close companionship. There is nothing quite like a person that loves you for who you are, and stands by you through everything in life. That is a rare find! I'm glad that you have somebody like that in your life...not everyone does.

I'm sorry your heart is broken, today....that you're sadness is overflowing. Wish there was a way to fix it for you...

Just know that we'll all be here to lift you up when you're down, to encourage you when you're feeling the emptiness of her absence, and to let you share your feelings, any feelings, as you go through this difficult time.

We're here....lean on us.

Fondly,

Lori :heart:

mountaindreamer
04-10-2009, 06:40 PM
hi bonusmom,

i am so sorry to hear about your friend moving. even though she will not be close in proximity, she will always occupy a part of your heart, and she will be your lifetime friend....your friendship will change, but i am sure that it will not deminish one bit. thank goodness for modern communication tools, you guys will learn all of the new ways to stay in touch.

i know thing will be so different for you, and this is a time when you need the support of others. use us to vent your sadness, and enjoy every minute you have with your friend.

sick n tired
04-11-2009, 02:12 AM
Hey Phyllis,

I am so sorry that has happened...I have had a similar thing except I was the one who moved away thought not out of state...I feel lonely at times without my support network...computer and phone are better than nothing...so where in Texas are they moving?

BonusMom
04-11-2009, 07:52 AM
Thank you ladies for your understanding and words of encouragement. M will be moving to the Dallas area within the month.

I've never been to Texas so this will be an opportunity for me to see something other than the beautiful Sierra Mountains :)

Thanks for info on the web cam and such, Angel. I'll definitely look in to it!

DrinkofWtr
04-11-2009, 09:52 AM
Angel, you are so smart, I would never have thought of Skype. It may not be the same as having her physically near you, but it is something.

Rastagirl
04-11-2009, 12:02 PM
I have a cute little Skype story, can I share it here to cheer you up?

Last week, I was borrowing my son's computer and posting on the forum while he was at school. In the middle of my post, a diaglogue box pops up and says you're getting a call from 'Bruce' (my husband) on Skype. I'd only briefly heard the name Skype, so wasn't sure what it was. So I decided to 'Accept' his call....clicked the button...and I was thinking, "how am I going to talk to him...where's the microphone?" Right then, I could hear my husband's voice very, very tiny, far far away....saying, "hello, are you there?" So I yelled back at him. He asked me why I sounded so far away...and not clear. So I yelled back at him, that he sounded far away too. Then he said, "Are you wearing the headset?" I felt like such an idiot, so I picked up my son's gaming headset, earphones with the microphone, and put it on. Then I could hear my husband perfectly, loud and clear......but he said I still sounded far away, could barely hear me. So this went on for a few minutes, with us trying to figure out what's going on. My husband was thinking it was something on his end. All of a sudden, I realized I had the headset on backwards and the mouthpiece was behind my head. I felt like such a frikkin', technologically-challenged idiot.

I sheepishly turned the headset around, and my husband could hear me perfectly. You should have heard my husband laughing on the other end of the computer phone. :laugh:

So I thought I don't need this abuse....and hung up on him! Sheesh...I was just sitting there having fun posting on my forum, and he has to come along and push technology on me. What nerve!
____________________

Bonusmom, I know this is way off topic for your post here, but when Angel mentioned Skype, it reminded me of my first experience with it.

:)

Hope you can have some really fun times with your best friend before she has to go.

Fondly,

Lori :cool2:

p.s. My husband and I had a good laugh when he got home that night.

lucky7
04-11-2009, 02:09 PM
LOL Lori! i loved your story! You always have the cutest "husband stories". How sweet and funny! You always cheer me up evevn if i feel ooky! No, even if i feel PUKY:puke:LOOK, Ifound one to match! LOL:) You make me feel better,thank you, this illness is tough and i needed to meet you and the others to help me through some rough times. It means a lot. Im sending you some flowers:flowers1:

Angel Oliver
04-11-2009, 05:29 PM
Oh how funny is that :) Easily done though so dont worry it made you smile and us too!!

When i first downloaded skype i didnt have a clue what i doing.So when you first log on to it, you automatically go into skype me mode.This means anyone with skype can call you...you are telling them you are available to chat.Oh my.....i got so many calls i just didnt understand it. Then John called and explained it all to me i think with brain fog its 2 or 3 years ago. We've been together ever since. So make sure your in 'busy' mode or you may get lots of calls :)

Angel.xxx

sick n tired
04-12-2009, 01:01 PM
Bonus Mom,

If you ever come to visit M then let me know...I live in the Dallas/FortWorth Metroplex, also...still I am sorry that you are 'losing' the ability to go around with your good friend...

Take care...Karen

mountaindreamer
04-12-2009, 05:53 PM
oh Lori,

i am proud of you for trying....i refuse to learn to text people...my kids have tried to teach me, i don't want to learn....if someone wants to talk to me, they can call me. Ha ha headset on backwards, your name could be Phyllis.

Saysusie
04-14-2009, 02:07 PM
I guess I am just the opposite. I'd rather text than carry on an actual conversation:grumpy: Pitiful huh??
It's just that I'm always either trying to rest, or in the middle of something, or on my way out the door when the phone rings! Then, invariably, the person on the other end wants to talk on, and on, and on, and on!! So, I always feel bad when I have to say, "I was just walking out the door" or "I just laid down to get some rest" or "I just sat down to eat!". So, text me and I can text you back at my leisure, the conversations are concise and to the point, and I don't have to feel bad about wanting to hang up the phone!:hissyfit:

I guess we each have our own preferred methods of communication. I, personally, love the digital, cyber world!

Peace and Blessings
Namaste
Saysusie

mountaindreamer
04-14-2009, 02:17 PM
hi saysusie,

you are right, interruptions are much worse in person than via cyber waves. However, in order to receive and send a text, i have to find my glasses, turn on a light, and then try to see where the letters are on my phone so that i can reply....i get frustrated and just call the person. Everyone gets a laugh out of it, so i guess i will ride the lazy train for a little longer.

hope you are feeling good enough to call a friend.:laugh: