View Full Version : I never take my own advice pls help!

Angel Oliver
04-01-2009, 04:04 PM
I am always so good on giving people advice. My Mam even said to me tonight, why are you letting everyone walk all over you? You deal with all my stuff, the Doctors for me and other professionals, when it comes to you, you fall to bits? The answer is, i know its happening,but i seemed to have lost all my confidence when it comes down to me and all my self esteem. I know i have told you all about this before, but its getting to a point of no return and i need to sort myself out.

The people who walk over me are most of the medical profession. I seem to melt into a little blubbering girl when im in their presence. They are arrogant, ignorant, unprofessional and dam right rude to me.And what do i do? Nothing! I let it happen every time and talk soft and am afraid they may think im a hypaondriact. I AM NOT!!

Since Christmas Eve, the pain of the lock jaw, the tooth pulled, infections, lymph node swelling....the lot and the complaint i made when they drugged me up and i ended up in the street looking like a mad woman in her pj's...Im still not sorted out. I call the Doctor, he says see the dentist.I see the dentist, he says see the jaw specialist.From Christmas to now and still be in pain is not right!! (bare in mind a friend of mine a month ago went in with a similar problem and is nearly all sorted now). I see the specialist he says i need appointments for scans. Now dont laugh cause im kicking myself tonight still.Today was an important scan, one of two. YES i freaked out in the MR Scanner....full on, hot sweat, non breathing, nearly loosing consciousness panic attack!! Of all the times for it to happen.....it waits till im in a head lock in a machine! He only got half done.I have to go back for a 45 minutes scan of the jaw area. Its panic city now for me.WHAT PART OF IM CLAUSTRAPHOBIC dont they understand? I dont want to go back in that machine.
So as you can imagine.No scan means more waiting. The apology i got back from the christmas incident totally missed the point of what i actually went through. I took ill 4 weeks ago with severe head pain/migrane and numbness in my arms,hands,leg and face. The Doctor who i saw 3 times previous, who each time told me he was too busy and oh the classic, im busy a patient just died lol.....well he turned up 2 times, no examination, no eye contact and this time my Mam witnessed it....well he was supposed to call my Mam and tell her what he is going to do for me.NOTHING! Never heard from him since. So im in pain and numb, total face ache and feel like a total nuisance.
The Nurse who was finding me an Advocate has told me i will have to pay for it.Dont know how much, but it will take months to put into place.

So what and how do i sort my act out and get myself together, to be strong and not fall apart with Doctors? I have so many unresolved stuff now the list is too long to tell a Doctor about. If i see the practice manager to tell her about the Doctor, he will be so mad. If i get a new doctor, which by the way i did change 4 weeks ago, yet my old doctor turns up.
I have to see the jaw specialist. I actually called his secretary today.I explained im claustraphobic and can NOT go in that machine again. I asked if i could cancel the appointment with the jaw man, she said no.Keep it.I said but ive not had the scan and the appt was to go through those results.I asked to speak to the Big man himself.You know what she said to me? She said...oh we dont do that, you could be anyone on the phone. I told her, what? So i have to go to an appointment for nothing!

This is what i am dealing with.I dont know what to do.If anyone has any advise for me to get tough in any way....it would be a big help. I am totally on my own and can get no help. I have tried to sort things out, but things are getting worse.


04-01-2009, 04:09 PM
Angel i am so sorry! I do relate totally! I would ask if you can get the open MRI some places do offer that option. Alot of people are claustorphobic! As for the Drs they are arrogant and all knowing! Get on my last nerve! Please take care of yourself, we all need you! Hugs to you KAthy

04-01-2009, 05:08 PM
Hey Amanda,

I'm sorry you had such a disastrous day. Check your messages, I sent you a PM.


Angel Oliver
04-01-2009, 05:17 PM
Oh Kathy and Rob,

Thanks allot. What i'll do is check this when i get back and decide the best road to take.

Gentle hugs

04-01-2009, 05:45 PM
hey angel,

OMG i just can not believe this is happening to you....AGAIN. you have been through this so many times, i know there are no words that can make you feel better.....you know that all of here will be heartbroken over what has happened to you.

i don't if open MRIs are offered there, but you could at least ask about them. if i understand your post, you are still scheduled to see the specialist even though you were not able to complete the test. maybe it is good that you go to the specialist, cause he might be able to help you successfully complete the tests that he needs to help you. maybe, just maybe, he is a decent guy. let's all pray very hard that he is. i would think they could give you something that will enable you to relax, and maybe this dr. is compassionate enough that he will help you. oh how i wish i was not an ocean away....if i were rich, i would fly over the go with you.

your mam is obviously a special lady who really loves you. thank goodness you have each other. it must break her heart to see these things happening to you.

no you are not a hypocondriac, you are not crazy, you are "lupie" and there is not a damn thing you can do about it.....

let's get you past this trip to the specialist, and the MRI, then we will all joing forces and teach you how to wack the drs. over the head with a chair. :fighting0050:

04-01-2009, 06:02 PM

I'll write you something just before you get back....ideas to help bring your confidence back..it has always been there, just sometimes our illness takes it away and we feel so vulnerable. So vulnerable that even if someones asks, how are we..we can crumble.

I have and left a few office visits with a blotchy red and white face and a wad of tissue clutched in my hands....unable to speak up for myself. I get the frog in the throat and the crocodile tears flow...sucking it up, in between gasps...

I feel ya...head hugs....we'll chat up later..

Oh, and thank you for remembering about my Mum this week...head hugs...squuuuuuuuueeezing ya till ya pop...

Much love,

Angel Oliver
04-01-2009, 06:07 PM
Hi Phyllis,

Hope you are feeling ok today. I do actually feel like im telling the same old story every time.But it because the first problem wasnt sorted, then the second until ive gone full circle with so many problems all piled up and not fixed or diagnosed.
I so realise everyone here have so many things to cope with and i now feel i must sound like a right wimp....unable to stick up for myself. Phyllis, you know when i told you about the nurse, the advocate and even changing Doctors.I did all this.Yet, i always end up back at square one. I actually feel like PACMAN....lol.
Thanks so much for your support.Im going soon so will try and forget about all this for a few days as im going away. So when i get back, im bringing back with me some courage......like Wizard of Oz :)
Hope you have alovely weekend and take care.


04-01-2009, 06:12 PM
you go girl,

i know you keep getting knocked down, and it is so unfair....grab some whoop ass attitude while you are away, and i promise we will hold your hand when you get back and face this dr. thing.....

now rest, have fun, party, whatever gets this crap off your mind for a couple of days.

while you are gone, who is keeping your new little four legged friend from tormenting the cats?

Angel Oliver
04-01-2009, 06:26 PM

Thank you so much.Yes i was red blotchy and shaking when i got out of the machine today.The nurse said not to worry.Its ok for her to say as im trying to speak and my teeth were chattering together like i was so cold....the sweat was pouring off me.I can laugh about it now....i looked like a freak getting off the table and losing my balance :)
Oh your are welcome.Gentle hugs Oluwa.I dont know the pain of losing such a massive part of my family, a Mother, but know its so heartbreaking.But this weekend,hopefully,the flowers and nice memories.xxx

Phyllis, My Mam has the task of keeping Jess from eating the cats.Oh its such a shame.Jess is wonderful.Until she sees cats.She must get a mouth water like me with chocolate......then she runs....FAST! I am a bit worried, but my Brother will help keep the fur on their backs lol.

Thanks for your help with this never ending story.One day i'll post a thread where everything is sorted.Hey i'll be wearing those red shoes....Lori has got me thinking of wizard of oz today lol.:yes:

Take care n gentle hugs

04-01-2009, 07:23 PM
Remember Angel.... :angelic:

'There's no place like Home.....There's no place like Home".....

And this place is your home away from home...you have all your friends here that care very much about you and hate that this is happening. We just want you to get the care that you need and sooooo deserve. We want more than anything for you to have some relief from your pain.

You go on and have some fun...we'll be here for you when you're back...

Here's your Lupus family :fam21:and we're giving you a big, Loving GroupHug :grouphug:

With Love........

Lori :heart:

04-02-2009, 01:39 PM
A VERY BIG GROUP HUG OUR SWEET ANGEL! :grouphug: I sent you a PM sweetie and as far as those drs go this is what you do next time:fing26:! LOL

04-02-2009, 05:18 PM
wow jeannette,

you really got the hang of the "smileys" i have not found this last one....good job, perfect choice for a------ drs.

04-02-2009, 07:37 PM
Thanks Phyllis! I have you to thank for that! There are so many i find myself wanting to use them all! :guitar5:WOO HOO! LOL

Angel Oliver
04-10-2009, 07:38 AM
Oh thanks every one.Over the next few days i have to come up with a good solution.Who and how i approach...what do i say, how do i say it....how to make them listen instead of being fobbed off like a naughty time waster. I keep relying on a lottery win....not won it yet, so need to think like in reality until i do win the lotto :)

When i win lotto = get private healthcare!
If i dont win lotto = Need to get some courage (if you find it please email to me now).


04-10-2009, 08:03 AM
There you are...(PM received)....hugs filled with love..O.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. Mark Twain

Angel Oliver
04-10-2009, 08:22 AM
Oh how good is that. I saw it run out of one of the threads i was in :) Trying to find it and catch it up !!

Gentle hugs.

Angel Oliver
04-14-2009, 05:59 PM
Tomorrow afternoon 2.25pm......please send me vibes of courage and big loud voice to let the ignorant Doctors hear me.My jaw aches and teeth and gums and lymph nodes soooooooooooo much.
Im a big lion...im a big lion.....im a big lion...im a big lion :)

04-14-2009, 06:49 PM
WOOHOOOO you go you mighty lioness!

I'll be sending you all kinds of lioness power vibes! Bare them aching teeth and demand answers!

What's weird is I been going through something similar but we know part of the reason. I have what's called "Trigimineal neuralgia" or " Tic Doloro" I have had to wrap a sarong around my head rather firmly to ease a bit of the pain. It is related to my teeth but also the lymph nodes and last summer a large ulcer broke through from the lymph node into the throat, back of mouth area.

They did an MRI with contrast in the donut shaped machine but said they did not know why the lymph node swells or how it is related to the trigimineal nerve. It is freaking PAINFUL so if you are in horrible pain that seems to be from the jaw joint temple area that can radiate down the jaw ask them to rule Tic Doloro out.

My broken tooth and even my regular unbroken teeth can stimulate the trigimeal nerve that then becomes inflamed and has actually been called "the suicide syndrome" because the pain is so horrible. My molars have very long roots and I want them all pulled. However sometimes this happens due to an issue in the opening of the skull where the nerve comes out of the skull and needs surgery to relieve it.

04-15-2009, 11:46 AM
WOO HOO!!!! The power of the mind Angel!!! YES, A LION LION LION LION!!!!!!This is the way you need to make the dr look when you are in his presence!:yikes:LOL

Angel Oliver
04-15-2009, 02:27 PM
:no:This is the face is saw when i entered the room and i did see that face when THE LION in me came out. That face is so funny :) xx:yikes:xxx

04-16-2009, 03:07 PM
LOL It is a funny one isnt it Angel! I was excited to use it! LOL I hope your appt went ok!:thumbs-up:

Angel Oliver
04-16-2009, 05:07 PM
Its funny cause in my head...it looks like me and tomorrow its got the exact face i'll be pulling going into the scanner :)

Look -> :yikes: