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Danica01
03-24-2009, 03:08 AM
It has been so long! I am so sorry that I have been absent for so long. I got very sick about three weeks ago. I was unable to go the bathroom and went into the doctor, turned out I had an infection in my kidneys. While I was there he wanted to listen to my breathing because I have so many lung problems, turned out I had a lung infection and a sinus infection! I told him that I only came to see him because I couldn't pee!!!! He laughed and said it is always like that with me!

Tim was able to spend almost 30 days at home and during that time we traveled a lot. He took me on a surprise trip to the Grand Canyon........north and south rim!!!!! I was actually a lucky one who actually got to see the Grand Canyon covered in snow!!!! After that we explored Death Valley for six days........it was amazing! Here is my personal blog.......I really want to share it with all of you:

http://monkeyseemonkeydoaroundamountain.shutterfly.com/

Through all of that we found out my grandma has Alzheimer's and it has shaken me to my core. I am so close with her and I can not seem to come to terms with the fact that one day she will no longer know who I am. I cry a lot and feel like I am learning a hard life lesson. Tim reminds me that all the amazing memories I have with her are what I need to hang on to through this process. He lost his grandfather the same way and I find comfort in the fact that he truly can tell me that he knows what I am going through. Speaking of Tim, his dad is having some heart problems and may need surgery on his heart this next month.......

You can see life has handed me tons of lemons........anyone up for lemonade????!!!!!! I have missed you all and I hope you didn't forget about me........I am happy to be back!!!!!

rob
03-24-2009, 04:02 AM
Danica!

I was wondering why you have been so quiet lately. It's good to see you back! The very first time I saw the Grand Canyon, it was blanketed in low clouds and fog, and as the mist lifted, I saw the canyon covered in snow. It was amazing. You went to the north rim, I love it up there, not many people compared to the south rim. And you went to Death Valley too! Awesome stuff.

I'm sorry about your grandmother having Alzheimers. Terrible stuff. My father had some serious heart problems a few years back. He had a couple of stents put in at the Arizona Heart Institute, and has been doing great ever since. Jane will be so happy to see you back. What do you think of the new site? It's got some pretty cool features. Have a great day, and I'll talk to you later.

Rob

mountaindreamer
03-24-2009, 04:54 AM
hi danica,

i have been wondering about you. i was hoping that your absence was due to you feeling sooooo good that you were out enjoying life. well, i see you were enjoying the natural beauty of our country, but i see you weren't necessarily feeling so good. sounds like your dr. took good care of your assorted medical needs, and it sounds like Tim took care of your emotional needs. thank goodness you have such good people in your life.

so sorry to hear about your grandmother. i lost mine a few years ago, and it broke my heart....she was my "best friend" for life, and her absence reminds me each day how much she meant to me. Alzeimers is such a mean thing to happen to our loved ones.

so glad you are back....i have missed you and look forward to the new members benefiting from your posts.

Angel Oliver
03-24-2009, 07:28 AM
Hi Danica,

I missed you and no we didnt forget you at all.I sent you a message.When you learn how to use this new site you'll see it in your profile.

So sorry to hear about your grandma.Tim is right, you have such good memories.

Oh how exciting the Grand Canyon...wow.I'll look at your blog to see how fab it was.

Hope you are feeling a touch better now.Youve had it rough.I'll have some lemonade lol:yes:

We all missed you Danica, so welcome back and im sending you gentle hugs.We are all here for you my friend.

love
Angel.xxxxx

Angel Oliver
03-24-2009, 07:36 AM
Wow,

What amazing photos.I bet it was so dark out there yet so cosy with that camp fire....the sky and the stars...amazing! What a massive place....i love those rocky places....so peaceful. Like the sofa in the middle of nowhere how fab! What were the ghost people there for? Fab photos Danica and glad you experienced it.Just what you needed!!!:yes:

love
Angel.xxx

iseedeadmonkeys
03-24-2009, 07:59 AM
Im so pleased to have my friends back!!

Ive been kinda lost and wandering without ya hun lol,
thanx for my wall post too and the emails etc, did you enjoy your wine? hehe :)

I knew i had a good feeling about today, everything is coming together for all of us, i think im gonna pass on my fortune to y'all

Peace out sister!!!
Jane
xxx

mountaindreamer
03-24-2009, 08:06 AM
hi jane,

yes, i agree, today does seem to be a good day. i woke this morning and realized that i was not hurting....no pain yet...yeah for good days.

enjoy your new family group, and celegrate michael's success.

Danica01
03-25-2009, 12:53 AM
Today has been a good day just knowing I am back with all of you! I didn't realize until today how much I truly missed all of you and need you in my life. You are my Lupus family and my beautiful support group!!!!!! I am just so happy to hear you loving words again!!!!!

Rob:
The site is so cool!!!!! I can't figure out how to put a picture with my name.......help!!!!! I really do love it! The Grand Canyon with the fresh fallen snow was so peaceful and just gave you a sense of calmness. The north rim was amazing because Tim and I had it all to ourselves. We slept right on the rim and woke up to this amazing sight!!!! I was pretty sick during the trip but the clean, fresh air was worth every minute of it!!!!! I have missed you very much!!!!

My Angel:
I have missed you so much!!!! You have been there for me and I remember when we made it through your ordeal at the end of last year. I thought of you often and was always wishing you were well. How has things been going health and personal???????

Danica01
03-25-2009, 12:56 AM
Mountain Dreamer:
You are such a special person and have always been there for me when I was not feeling well. You always seem to have something positive to say and you spread hope to everyone! I am so happy you found this site and we were able to find each other! How have you been feeling??????

Jane:
My love! Every Monday night I am thinking of you and as I battle through Tuesdays you are always on my mind. I have been eating chocolate Robin's Eggs lately........I though you would be proud:-) I am so happy to be back and I am so happy we have been able to keep track of each other on Facebook!!!!


You all are so special tome and I hope we will be life long companions through our disease and see each other through the good times and bad!

Angel Oliver
03-25-2009, 07:25 AM
Hi Danica,

Things and life have been a bit rough, but im still here. Everyone has to have hard and bad times at some point.Think im getting all mine all at once :) Good times always follow....so im sat here waiting for them to happen now.:yes:.
So glad you are back, you were missed allot. Hope today is a good day for you.

love
Angel.xxx

Danica01
03-25-2009, 03:06 PM
I know how that feels......when it rains it pours and you are just left waiting with the umbrella hoping it will rain soon so you can get it all over with......I understand!!!!! Hang in there and I am here if you need me. Today is an ok day, I am feeling a little down right now but I have faith the clouds will part and the sun will be out again soon enough!

hatlady
03-28-2009, 07:21 AM
So good to hear from you! I'm on this board a lot less than I'd like as well, in my case it is lack of time.... the energy only goes so far, work takes most of it...

You have my sad understanding of how it is with your grandmother - - my mother has shifted from Parkinson's being her main complaint to Alzheimers. You learn to take it day by day, or someitmes minute by minute. Sometimes she knows me, sometimes she really doesn't. The good thing - in her current fairly happy world, I seem to visit more often than I'm able to in real life.

It is hard to know how to grieve for someone who's physically still here, isn't it? But we do.

Many hugs, and I am glad you're posting again!

Rastagirl
03-28-2009, 05:59 PM
Hello Danica...

So glad to see you back and posting. You've been missed!

I'm deeply sorry about your Grandmother. Sending you gentle HUGS of caring. I love my Grandmother dearly...have always been close to her...she's been going senile for the past few years and it's extremely difficult...so I truly understand your sadness and pain.

You and your Grandmother are in my prayers.

Fondly,

Lori :heart:

Danica01
03-28-2009, 11:51 PM
I love and understand everything you have said here! She is with my grandfather everyday. He died over 10 years ago,but in her mind she is back where he is alive. I think that would be a great place to be stuck in! I told Tim if I ever have this disease I want to be with him in my mind.

You are right, how do you grieve for someone who you can physically hear and see? Yet, I feel myself slowly going through the grief process. I think she will be moved to a home in the next few months. It will be so hard to see her somewhere other than her home.She loved her home and it is her comfort zone. The doctors have been telling us that it has become a hazard and her home that gives her comfort can actually become a dangerous place full of fear. We don't want that for her, so it is time for her to go somewhere where she can be looked after properly.

I miss her all ready and can not imagine my life without our weekly phone calls. Thank you for your kind words and it helps knowing someone else is going through this too!



So good to hear from you! I'm on this board a lot less than I'd like as well, in my case it is lack of time.... the energy only goes so far, work takes most of it...

You have my sad understanding of how it is with your grandmother - - my mother has shifted from Parkinson's being her main complaint to Alzheimers. You learn to take it day by day, or someitmes minute by minute. Sometimes she knows me, sometimes she really doesn't. The good thing - in her current fairly happy world, I seem to visit more often than I'm able to in real life.

It is hard to know how to grieve for someone who's physically still here, isn't it? But we do.

Many hugs, and I am glad you're posting again!

Danica01
03-28-2009, 11:56 PM
Thank you for your hugs and kind words! My mom has always told me that my grandmother and I have a special bond, unlike any bond she has with anyone else, including her own daughters. I used to be a dancer and so did my grandma! She clogged forever!!!!!I remember going to her house and she would stop what she was doing to teach me her routines! Everyone thought she was silly but I though she was amazing! So, weekend after weekend we would dance together! I love those memories and that is what I am trying to hang on to. I want to remember the way she was and not the way she is getting. Life is so hard and sad when you see someone you love so afraid of their family! It is an adjustment that will take time but like I said before, it is comforting knowing I am not the only one going through this! Thank you so much for your support and I have missed you!


Hello Danica...

So glad to see you back and posting. You've been missed!

I'm deeply sorry about your Grandmother. Sending you gentle HUGS of caring. I love my Grandmother dearly...have always been close to her...she's been going senile for the past few years and it's extremely difficult...so I truly understand your sadness and pain.

You and your Grandmother are in my prayers.

Fondly,

Lori :heart:

Angel Oliver
03-29-2009, 01:32 PM
Oh Danica,

My heart aches for you reading this thread.But you always know we are here to comfort you always.So sorry to hear about your Gran. What a lovely family she has around her, looking out for her, caring for her.You should be so proud, even though i know you are hurting so bad.

Gentle hugs
Angel.xxxx

mountaindreamer
03-29-2009, 03:56 PM
hi danica,

so sorry to hear about your grandma....a special grandmother is a cherished jewel for those of us fortunate enough to experience this level of love. i had a similar relationship with my grandmother. i sat by her bedside for two and a half months. she passed at the age of 96. she was not afraid of dying, but she was afraid of dying by herself...she was afraid that no one would find her in the nursing home....so after the last stroke, i posted myself by her bed, and did not leave unless necessary. i was so glad that i could give her last wish ...i knew how important this was to her because of the special relationship that we had. and we still have it....her angel sends me feathers, and i occassionally feel her presence . i tell her hi and that i love her, and i get to have a smile for the day (no matter how bad i feel).

cherish your fine lady and your special feelings about her will continue long after she has gone. congratulations for having her in your life, i know you are the person you are because of her influence.

my granddaughter and i dance every time the clock plays its music, i remember watching my grandmother dance in her garden.

maguadalupe
03-29-2009, 06:37 PM
Hello welcome back
i have a question did you have a back pain on your left side becuase i been having one for about two week this pass days it hurts less but if you touch it i'm in so much pain and i also could still feel the diffrent from one side to the other pls help me . i'm going thought some thing that i don't know what going on with my health this year it been evry hard on me