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red246
03-20-2009, 08:43 AM
I'm so tired of this! I want to be back to my old self. There are days that start out and I feel pretty good, but by the evening........I hurt so bad I can barely make it up the stairs. I tried cleaning up in my bedroom yesterday, I was so exhausted by the time I got done I just wanted to lay down and never get up. Couldn't do that though, had to make dinner!

I went the other day to the neuro for arm weakness I've been having. He finally got the report from the neuro I had 1 1/2 yr ago. She stated about the issues with my neck and also that she felt my other problems I was having were due to depression! I was pissed enough when she told me then that she thought it was stress, but to say that I was depressed! Mind you this was during one of the happiest times over the past several years.

I'm just tired of feeling like crap & nobody has any answers. Okay, pity party over! :yes:

sits_inthe_corner
03-20-2009, 08:57 AM
Lauren, gentle hugs to you,

I'm so sorry you got the ol "oh you're depressed and stressed" song and dance. Would have been tempting to say "well add aggressive and PISSED off to that, you stupid quack"

How is your arm doing? Go back to your family doctor and tell them what happened and ask for another referal for a second opinion. You deserve to find out what's going on with you and not be brushed off.

Sending you some inner strength to do the battle of the idiot doctor.

red246
03-20-2009, 09:11 AM
:laugh: :laugh-floor:

THis is what I think of that doctor! :monkey-loco: That was the old doc that said I was depressed. I don't think I've even mentioned to the new neuro about the other issues I've had - mixing up words, forgetting words, etc.. He is sending me for a new mri of my neck to see if it has gotten worse. He said that from a year 1/2 ago, it was much worse than it should be for someone my age. So, we'll see what that shows.

I do need to call my family doc and see if he can suggest a new rheum though. It's been a crzy week and just haven't had the time to do it. And now I need to run and pack the boys up for the weekend! Thx for the hugs!

Oluwa
03-20-2009, 09:59 AM
It is tiring...times it is like going through a drive through fast service, eh?

Depressed, stressed, pay at the next window....next.
Depressed, stress, pay at the next window...next...

Seems like we are rubber stamped at times...

It could be a myriad of things and not from an emotion. I know emotions stress and depression can cause pain, and also magnify a symptom that was already there to begin with.

For me, at times it is hard to tell what came first the pain or depression...but most of the time it is the pain, the not being able to be like who I was, active that creates the spiraling affect into depression.

Things that can cause neck and arm pain. Herniated disk, inflamed muscles, pinch nerved...fibromyalgia..referrred pain...GERD....Lupus, RA...

Diagnostic tests for nerve damage, impediment.....MRI...EMG...

She should be ruling out all the possibilities..

If she felt it was stress and depression, did she prescribe anything..pills, physical therapy...

Seriously flawed neurologist...

Today is the first day of spring...look at it as a new start to find a new doctor...

Hugs...keep looking for your wellness.
Love,
Oluwa

AyahsClan
03-20-2009, 10:06 AM
Lauren, gentle hugs to you,

I'm so sorry you got the ol "oh you're depressed and stressed" song and dance. Would have been tempting to say "well add aggressive and PISSED off to that, you stupid quack"

How is your arm doing? Go back to your family doctor and tell them what happened and ask for another referal for a second opinion. You deserve to find out what's going on with you and not be brushed off.

Sending you some inner strength to do the battle of the idiot doctor.

LOL thanks for the morning chuckle!

We DO need to be aggressive with these idiots.

Red, I have a new goal: To have the tallest mountain of washed laundry on my bed. I'm determined to WIN! Guiness Book of World Records get ready for my page! woohooooo

Things I learned from chronic illness;

There is no stigma attached to using paper plates.

Microwaves can cook an entire dinner.

Salad flows freely straight from the bag.

If you tie up a bag of trash real tight it really doesn't smell that bad after a few days.

If you walk over it enough times, it starts to blend in with the floor as if it has always belonged there.

My true value is not linked to my massive society of evolved dust bunnies that live in the secret dark places under and behind things.

Watching chic flicks on the sofa while sipping a juice spritzer can be a very fulfilling way to spend the afternoon.

The only important part of the toilet to worry about it what you have to sit on.

Seriously though, it is frustrating, I don't mean to negate your anger, it is impossible to function the way we need to. I used to describe it like this when I was raising my children; you HAVE to pour glasses of milk for the kids. You HAVE to or everything will fall apart and your children's needs will not be met. The only problem was my pitcher had no milk in it. I couldn't get any milk to put in the pitcher but I absolutely HAD to pour the milk! I had to! It must be done!

There was a time when I was near liver failure I actually had to drive my kids around with one hand while I pushed my liver back up underneath my rib cage because it was so swollen. It's a wonder i did not end up in the looney bin. I had no help.

The good news is it truly can get better. Even though my illness progressed, my life is so much better. My children are grown adults now and I have awesome grandchildren. My prognosis was "you are not going to make it". Here I am 20 years later with more good days than bad.

{{hugs}}
Wishing you many GOOD days ahead,
Love,

Bonita
03-20-2009, 10:07 AM
I'm so tired of this! I want to be back to my old self. There are days that start out and I feel pretty good, but by the evening........I hurt so bad I can barely make it up the stairs. I tried cleaning up in my bedroom yesterday, I was so exhausted by the time I got done I just wanted to lay down and never get up. Couldn't do that though, had to make dinner!

I went the other day to the neuro for arm weakness I've been having. He finally got the report from the neuro I had 1 1/2 yr ago. She stated about the issues with my neck and also that she felt my other problems I was having were due to depression! I was pissed enough when she told me then that she thought it was stress, but to say that I was depressed! Mind you this was during one of the happiest times over the past several years.

I'm just tired of feeling like crap & nobody has any answers. Okay, pity party over! :yes:Inow how you feel when i first got sick i really started thinking that this was in my head till it all came down to the fact that i went to the emergency room and was admitted for 11 days in the hospital and was discharged with a fever of 100 and sent to my rheumotologist for more treatment my sed rate in the hospital was 106 and they knew finally from all the tests something was wrong and not in my head so i know how frustrating this can be . Hang in there Bonita

red246
03-20-2009, 10:23 AM
LOL thanks for the morning chuckle!

Red, I have a new goal: To have the tallest mountain of washed laundry on my bed. I'm determined to WIN! Guiness Book of World Records get ready for my page! woohooooo You should have seen my bed yesterday!

There was a time when I was near liver failure I actually had to drive my kids around with one hand while I pushed my liver back up underneath my rib cage because it was so swollen. It's a wonder i did not end up in the looney bin. I had no help. This I can understand!



So much of what you said is my life already! :laugh: I really don't care that the house is not spotless. I just hate it when it gets to the point that I can't find anything/can't walk into a room w/out stepping over stuff. :laugh:

The other year when all this started I was beginning to wonder if it was all in my head. Then I got sick again this year and found out that it wasn't! Even though I may not have an "official" diagnosis yet, I do know that there is something going on. I just have to keep looking for the doctor who will finally give me more than a vague "something autoimmune".

Thank you all for the support! It helps knowing that there are other people out there that have/are "been there done that"! :hug:

debbie-b
03-20-2009, 10:34 AM
First of all, you guys are funny, I have read it all and Iam still laughing.
When I was daignosed 1.5 years ago, the first thing my rheumy wanted to prescribe was anti depressants and I told him that I don't need those, because I am not depressed, but in alot of pain. He told me that in no time at all, I'll be begging him for those pills. Today 1.5 years later, I am still not depressed and I can handle my pain pretty well. Just like everybody else, I have good days and bad days. Not everybody is or gets depressed, but the docs just like to shut us up, with the " I don't give a sh.. pills".

Debbie

AyahsClan
03-20-2009, 10:49 AM
So much of what you said is my life already! :laugh: I really don't care that the house is not spotless. I just hate it when it gets to the point that I can't find anything/can't walk into a room w/out stepping over stuff. :laugh:

The other year when all this started I was beginning to wonder if it was all in my head. Then I got sick again this year and found out that it wasn't! Even though I may not have an "official" diagnosis yet, I do know that there is something going on. I just have to keep looking for the doctor who will finally give me more than a vague "something autoimmune".

Thank you all for the support! It helps knowing that there are other people out there that have/are "been there done that"! :hug:

Look sister, don't steal my thunder! I been working on my laundry mountain a lot longer than you! I even have accomplished TWIN PEAKS! yep that's right....uh huh...thats right

ps. the underware always make their way to the bottom. I think the tops have it out for them. (uh oh did I actually lose my mind and only think I am sane) lol

red246
03-20-2009, 10:50 AM
Debbie - Couldn't agree more!

Not to go off topic, but who got the smilies on this site? I was lmao looking at some of them! I better make sure my boys aren't around if I ever use some of them - definitely not for younger eyes! Not complaining- they are hilarious! :laugh-floor:

red246
03-20-2009, 10:56 AM
Ayah - oh Great Laundry Queen - I bow before you and beg forgiveness!!!!

I must clarify why the pile on my bed was so large - hubby has been building us a wall & a closet for our bedroom. I have had nowhere to hang my clothes so I have had huge piles in my room on top of everything! Yesterday I decided to sort through and see what was what, so of course I ended up w/ many large piles on the bed. I couldn't imagine if I had actually washed all of it, not that it wasn't clean, but it's been building up for a while!

Now that I have laughed so hard my chest hurts......I will go rest for a while. :laugh:

catsisco
03-27-2009, 09:24 AM
Lauren - I am new to this forum site but am loving the support and vibe from all. I see you are in NJ, as I am. I am very happy with my Rheumy, and I have gone through about 4 over the past 20 years. Email me if you are interested in contacting him, it is in Northern NJ and he works out of Hackensack Hospital. He treats me for Rheumatoid Arthritis and "borderline" not yet given the official diagnosis lupus and my mother for diagnosed Lupus.

Funny Story - I had a horrible, major flare two weeks before my wedding in 2005. I had been having a healthy year or so and besides some joint and inflamation issues, I was good. I woke up one day and my eyes had stopped being able to produce tears, i had TMJ and swelling everywhere (internal, joint, ect). At that time my Rheumy was out of town on vacation and my primary DR had recently passed awaay. I saw another Dr in my old primary's place and of course it was all oh you must be stressed and anxious about your wedding. The Dr tried for 30 minutes to get me to agree to take xanax or some other crap and by the end of it two things happened, 1) I appeared to her to look more and more like I was anxious and "crazy" 2) by the time i was done arguing i was so stressed that i just caved and took the antidepressant until i could get to my Rheumy two days later... Point being... we are not depressed or if we are it is a secondary to the disease(s) and also i too like you were in my happiest time and i am so not a bridezilla, very low key affair and all....

Right now my biggest emotional issue is feeling like a broken record saying "i don't feel so well" to my husband and friends... I hate being sick and tired but i hate having to alter my life to accomodate this disease even more, it sucks. I wish you the best and please know that it isn't you its them ;)

red246
03-27-2009, 01:24 PM
Cat -
I just got home from grocery store & running errands and saw your post. Thank you for making me smile. I really needed it after doing all that!

Thanks for the offer of doc info. Hackensack is a bit too much of drive for me now, though. :no: I have found one center over in Philly which is only about 45 min from me and another up in New Brunswick which is about an hour. Both are a bit longer than I'd like to drive but they are still manageable. I really miss the northern half of the state - a bizillion docs w/in a half hour radius! :laugh:

Right now my biggest emotional issue is feeling like a broken record saying "i don't feel so well" to my husband and friends... I hate being sick and tired but i hate having to alter my life to accomodate this disease even more, it sucks. I wish you the best and please know that it isn't you its them

I would have to say this is one of my biggest problems also. I know my two youngest are tired of hearing me say this. I think they have both even told me!
Thanks again for the offer. Hope you are having a "good" day!

Vester
03-29-2009, 08:48 PM
I understand how you feel. It is so important to have doctors that listen to you. With Lupus and other autoimmune diseases it is so hard to find answers, because you have so many different symptoms that mimic other things. I feel like when they are unable to find out what is wrong they blame it on depression or stress. Your symptoms are real and you deserve to have someone who will listen and will try to help you.