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AyahsClan
02-25-2009, 11:55 AM
Because of lupus, the last few years my style of dress has changed more than ever.

The pain in my upper body makes wearing a traditional bra torturous. I've had to switch to a man's shoe, a size larger than I used to wear because the bones in my feet hurt (women's wide all seem to be ugly or impractical). And forget about even thinking about heals or even pumps.

My stomach hurts too much to wear any pants except elastic or a loose pair of drawstring pants, and even then it is hard to find pants that are large enough around the waist to not hurt without a baggy butt.

Then there is the necessity of covering up completely when going out to avoid all sun contact which is never easy in the summer. I can't afford to buy expensive trendy UVA sunblock clothes so I wear what I can find that covers and breaths somewhat (I live in the desert). Last summer I ended up again in the mens department buying a man's white dress shirt that was all cotton and buttoned up well to protect the neck.

I started wearing long skirts because they feel more feminine than baggy pants. I wear a cheap version of Spanx type tank tops instead of bras (My girls are large so I layer two). They started making "Earth Shoes" again, they fit great but are none too pretty, It is like walking in sand, good for the legs but again, pricey.

Make-up has also been an issue. I am allergic to almost everything I try. When my face is really bad I feel so self conscience when I go out, but if I try to cover it up it will make it 10 times worse. I did find a sulfur lotion that helps keep my face from exacerbating called Peter Gillham's Natural Vitality but this stuff is pricey. I make sacrifices to try to always have some around, but sometimes its just not possible.

Does anyone else have the same problems? Any tips or suggestions?

Saysusie
02-25-2009, 12:45 PM
Your change of style and clothing are familiar to many of us. Staying covered in the summer has been a topic on these forums almost every year. When I was at my worst with Lupus, I too wore men's shoes because of the inflammation and pain. I also wore men's pants because they exerted less pressure on my body.
The men's shirts have (and continue to be) my primary article of clothing. I wear them over everything, especially in the summer. I've purchased them in a variety of materials, prints and styles. I can wear men's T-shirts underneath the large shirt which gives me the option of keeping the large shirt buttoned or completely open (mostly open with a variety of tank tops, t-shirts, or spandex tops underneath). Hatlady and I are big on always wearing hats, so my collection is quite expansive (although I think that hers is probably much bigger than mine) and I am always in a hat (winter and summer).
You can still be quite vogue-ish (is that a word?) with the ensemble that you've described - not to mention the fact that you can start your own fashion identity. I often look at the clothing of other people to see if I can find someone who, like me, is dressing due to an illness. If I see someone that I think may be doing what I am doing, I always make a point to compliment them on their ensemble and their sense of style. More often than not, I've been correct in my assessment! So, I think that we are all very unique and exceptionally beautiful! That includes you!

Peace and Blessings
Saysusie

NoodleMom
02-25-2009, 12:54 PM
Yeah im that way too. I am mostly homebound. Usually I wear pj bottoms during the day with a tank top and a hoody. On days that my arms hurt I dont take it off I just have to turn the heat down until someone comes home to help me. Other days I take it off when I get hot. Im always switching up because I cant stay stable in being hot or cold. When I do get our I wear this hoody that has SPF in it and a wide brimmed hat. I wear it in Walmart too.

K

sick n tired
02-25-2009, 01:12 PM
Yes that was the first thing I started doing, too...I could wear a bra, until recently, but it is so hard to breath at times, it seems wearing a bra or even any type of pants causes me to have an even harder time of it. Right now I am having a hard time finding things to live in.

I am truly sorry that you are in so much pain...you are in my thoughts.

Hugs...gentle ones

DrinkofWtr
02-25-2009, 03:28 PM
I have to wear the hypoallergenic make-up like Almay or Physicians Formula. I like Physicians Formula. I can't wear any make-up that has a fragrance. I haven't been able to wear high heels for many years and it has been a real blow to me. Not only is my balance bad but my feet hurt far too much to wear them. I am afraid of falling down in them and I have already fallen wearing flats, more than once.

Loose fitting clothing works best for me and I try to avoid synthetic fabrics as they don't breathe well and I get hot flashes!

hatlady
02-25-2009, 03:31 PM
You're in good company.....

I found Rit Sunguard (a powdered product in with Rit Dye) to be a godsend - I put my summer cover-up-shirts and light sweaters in it and then know that I have the spf I need. Washes in, lasts for 30 washings, per their label. The fancy sun-protector clothing is so nice to look at....but the prices!!!!

I'm covered head to toe year round. I miss wearing the nice skirts that brushed my knees - but the sun on my legs, even with nylons....nope.

Cotton and now the new bamboo products are so soft on the skin - I still wear bras but find I've switched to the comfiest I can find - which translates to breathable cotton....

Shoes? Comfort first. I find DSW's sale rack a good thing - flats only, and rubber soled only. I've been lucky - the one near here has a good selection of wider ones that still look relatively nice.

The one piece I have fun with? (no need to guess hard here) My hats.

BonusMom
02-25-2009, 05:19 PM
I haven't had to dress any differently with SLE.......yet.

With the bloating from gastroparesis, I have added stretch waistbands to my wardrobe because I can experience a weight/gain loss seemingly overnight....especially if I switch to an all liquid diet :( And, after giving away all my "fat" clothes three years ago, I quickly learned that my weight can fluctuate quite a bit. I have my current size clothes in one part of my closet; clothes that fit me if I should lose 10-15 lbs. just beneath my current clothes and if I hit the jackpot and lose more than that, I have the closet in my "guest" bedroom with those jewels. Go down a size and it's like Christmas!

I was diagnosed with SLE and SjS in December of '08. Last summer, I thoroughly enjoyed our swimming pool and tanning like I was a fearless teen. I wonder how the sun may impact my summer this year? I do know that I'll be more concienscous of the harmful rays and will wear something besides baby oil (just kidding!). Looking back, I remember a bit of a "rash" on one of my arms--more like a few raised bumps--but nothing elsewhere. I did have a rash on one of my ankles in November, but the ankle hadn't seen the light of day in quite a while and I thought my new jeans may have caused it.

Reading what you've all posted, I am truly humbled as I've not experienced any of these sometimes disfiguring rashes. I'm really sorry that you're having to worry about what to wear to prevent sun damage and the resultant rashes. Us humans, we sure take a lot for granted.

sits_inthe_corner
02-25-2009, 05:35 PM
My problems begain with my feet.

The bones in my feet hurt with every step and felt like they would snap at any second.

I was fitted for orthotics and ugly shoes to match. I found a pair of good leather shoes at Naturalizer that weren't completely ugly. I can remove the insole and put my orthotic in to it.

I wore the orthotic for 1 1/2 yrs. My feet stopped hurting my bones stopped screaming. Then summer came...and the pretty shoes started a calling to me.

I found a well structured pretty sandle that was flat but well supported....and I bought them.

Then I found another pair of red patten leather sandles. Shiney pretty and good support. (Found those at Obo shoes)

From late spring till early fall, I lived in my pretty shoes. This winter I have not worn my orthotic even once.

I do not wear heals any more...sigh...but I live for spring when I can bust out my pretty sandles.

I work in an office, it's very hard finding dress pants that are comfortable, and with the arthritic in my hands, dresses with pantyhose are OUT of the question. Summer is fine for dresses, something long and flowing and loose with bare legs is okay.

A good bra, properly fitted with wide straps is a lot easier on me. I went for a fitting so I would know what to buy. Turns out I had been doing it WRONG most of my adulthood lol

I'm at the stage in my life where I'm happy to find anything I can function in at work and at home.

I keep waiting for stacey and clinton to pop out from around a corner and drag me off to new york for a lesson in what NOT to wear lol

AyahsClan
02-26-2009, 02:55 PM
What a blessing you are. I feel so much better about the way I dress after reading everyones comments. It would get so frustrating trying to find the right clothes in the women's section. I found some great cotton tie pants recently at Fashion Bug that are not as baggy. I don't get out much so I order clothes online, if they don't fit then I can take them in to the store for credit on grocery shopping day. It is too tiring trying clothes on.

You all probably get overheated too. This summer I am going to look for the ice vest. Does anybody know about them? Someone told me about them, they have pockets where special ice packs fit in.

My head gets so HOT when I wear my hats. We need hats with a cool pack. I wear the neck coolers but they only help a little. You dip them in water and the beads expand to hold the water. You all probably have tried them. I bought one of those funky desert caps that has the back and sides. It is just too funky even for me.

Does the onset of summer start to freak you guys out too?






Your change of style and clothing are familiar to many of us. Staying covered in the summer has been a topic on these forums almost every year. When I was at my worst with Lupus, I too wore men's shoes because of the inflammation and pain. I also wore men's pants because they exerted less pressure on my body.
The men's shirts have (and continue to be) my primary article of clothing. I wear them over everything, especially in the summer. I've purchased them in a variety of materials, prints and styles. I can wear men's T-shirts underneath the large shirt which gives me the option of keeping the large shirt buttoned or completely open (mostly open with a variety of tank tops, t-shirts, or spandex tops underneath). Hatlady and I are big on always wearing hats, so my collection is quite expansive (although I think that hers is probably much bigger than mine) and I am always in a hat (winter and summer).
You can still be quite vogue-ish (is that a word?) with the ensemble that you've described - not to mention the fact that you can start your own fashion identity. I often look at the clothing of other people to see if I can find someone who, like me, is dressing due to an illness. If I see someone that I think may be doing what I am doing, I always make a point to compliment them on their ensemble and their sense of style. More often than not, I've been correct in my assessment! So, I think that we are all very unique and exceptionally beautiful! That includes you!

Peace and Blessings
Saysusie

AyahsClan
02-26-2009, 03:15 PM
Yes that was the first thing I started doing, too...I could wear a bra, until recently, but it is so hard to breath at times, it seems wearing a bra or even any type of pants causes me to have an even harder time of it. Right now I am having a hard time finding things to live in.

I am truly sorry that you are in so much pain...you are in my thoughts.

Hugs...gentle ones

You are so special, and you are all already rooted deep in my heart. I hate that anybody suffers with this, but finding you all has changed my life.

I am having a hard time finding things that do not look mega frumpy for at home. I slap myself when I start to think old lady housecoats are looking doable. I like bicycle shorts and capri length tights a size or 2 larger. I used to live in Hawaii and got used to wearing sarongs so sometimes I wear them over. It is hard to find the right size sarongs. I need a larger size and they are pricey for the non see through type.

mountaindreamer
02-26-2009, 03:21 PM
hi ayahsclan,
i got those ice vests for my son who suffers from extreme body heat (forgot the name), and he got immediate relief....he really likes the vest...says it makes summers bearable.

AyahsClan
02-26-2009, 03:47 PM
I have to wear the hypoallergenic make-up like Almay or Physicians Formula. I like Physicians Formula. I can't wear any make-up that has a fragrance. I haven't been able to wear high heels for many years and it has been a real blow to me. Not only is my balance bad but my feet hurt far too much to wear them. I am afraid of falling down in them and I have already fallen wearing flats, more than once.

Loose fitting clothing works best for me and I try to avoid synthetic fabrics as they don't breathe well and I get hot flashes!

I hear ya. I used to love to wear boots with moderate heals. Now I have one pair of boots I can wear, Earth Shoe, that are nothing like a sexy boot!

Oooh them nasty hot flashes. Yesterday I went into a full body sweat in the grocery store. My lungs are exacerbating right now and for some reason it makes the hot flashes worse.

AyahsClan
02-26-2009, 03:52 PM
You're in good company.....

I found Rit Sunguard (a powdered product in with Rit Dye) to be a godsend - I put my summer cover-up-shirts and light sweaters in it and then know that I have the spf I need. Washes in, lasts for 30 washings, per their label. The fancy sun-protector clothing is so nice to look at....but the prices!!!!

I'm covered head to toe year round. I miss wearing the nice skirts that brushed my knees - but the sun on my legs, even with nylons....nope.

Cotton and now the new bamboo products are so soft on the skin - I still wear bras but find I've switched to the comfiest I can find - which translates to breathable cotton....

Shoes? Comfort first. I find DSW's sale rack a good thing - flats only, and rubber soled only. I've been lucky - the one near here has a good selection of wider ones that still look relatively nice.

The one piece I have fun with? (no need to guess hard here) My hats.

I didn't even know we could spf our own clothes!

Forgive my ignorance but what is DSW?

Oluwa
02-26-2009, 04:31 PM
AyahsClan...Hey..

For loose fitting clothes in the summer, I've purchased several Indians garbs, cotton...Salwar suits, tunic tops...they also have wide legs, long skirts..and drawstrings pants..caftans. Longer tunic shirts cover up the baggy hinder...

This is a great shop..in my hometown area of Seattle I've shopped at....you can buy online too...
http://www.eshakti.com/

My Mum-in-law is British Nigerian and she has given me several caftans type dresses, colors of Africa, beautiful..with the head dress too, but I use it as a shawl. All hand made and a few two piece skirt and tops. Kind of like the Hawaiian Moomoo..

Victoria's Secrets has Cabana pants I like...wide leg, drawstring..breezy...nice with a tank and an oversize shirt....

I've even purchased the drawstring crop PJ bottoms and where them outdoors. But the colors one would never know they are PJ's...

Here's to a cooler summer for all of us...

Keep cool...hugs.
Love,
Oluwa

jenniferlynn
02-28-2009, 05:26 PM
Thanks for the Rit Sunguard tip! I will get some ASAP :)

AyahsClan
02-28-2009, 06:51 PM
I love clothes from India! I order my long cotton skirts from an Indian company at www.aimcraft.com I've perused eshakti many times too. I'll check them out again. I've been a large size the last few years (22-24) and it is not easy to find the plus sizes. I go up and down by 80 pounds.


AyahsClan...Hey..

For loose fitting clothes in the summer, I've purchased several Indians garbs, cotton...Salwar suits, tunic tops...they also have wide legs, long skirts..and drawstrings pants..caftans. Longer tunic shirts cover up the baggy hinder...

This is a great shop..in my hometown area of Seattle I've shopped at....you can buy online too...
http://www.eshakti.com/

My Mum-in-law is British Nigerian and she has given me several caftans type dresses, colors of Africa, beautiful..with the head dress too, but I use it as a shawl. All hand made and a few two piece skirt and tops. Kind of like the Hawaiian Moomoo..

Victoria's Secrets has Cabana pants I like...wide leg, drawstring..breezy...nice with a tank and an oversize shirt....

I've even purchased the drawstring crop PJ bottoms and where them outdoors. But the colors one would never know they are PJ's...

Here's to a cooler summer for all of us...

Keep cool...hugs.
Love,
Oluwa

AyahsClan
02-28-2009, 06:57 PM
hi ayahsclan,
i got those ice vests for my son who suffers from extreme body heat (forgot the name), and he got immediate relief....he really likes the vest...says it makes summers bearable.

I'm going to go shop for them online right now. I hope your son's condition is not too serious.

sick n tired
02-28-2009, 10:36 PM
I slap myself when I start to think old lady housecoats are looking doable.


LOL I understand that sentiment, but sometimes having something that comfortable would be nice. Lately I have been living in an old pair of sweats and a sweat shirt or a nightshirt and soft comfy robe.(the latter is for the days that I can't even get out of bed) I have not found a sarong that looks good on me. The prednisone has changed my figure...

Angel Oliver
03-01-2009, 09:20 AM
Yes.....i used to live in heels. Now though its trainers and flat soft shoes. I too wear either soft waitbands on jeans or a bigger size skirt. I wont wear a hat cause of my hair lol.....i will wear a cap though sometimes. I have problems with bras cause of the lumps i have, theyre cysts i think, so they do hurt if i have my push up bra on. Yes push up cause i wasnt blessed with huge basookers lol :) I used to wear tight fitting tops, but now i wear baggy ones. Comfort comes first even at 39.....but i am a fashion freak too....so if its too unfashionable i do without.

Angel.xxxxx

BonusMom
03-01-2009, 10:26 AM
Thanks for sharing your fashion survival secrets. I still work (in a conservative environment) so I have to "dress up." I think I would do well to buy the flowing (non-constricting) pieces that you gals have described. Unfortunately, I can't wear "flats" because they hurt my feet-I do better with at least a small heel. It sounds strange, but at nearly 5'10", I still like how heels longate the legs (a girl's gotta feel like a girl--even with Lupus!)

As to the option of going braless--it's not! The "two cats fighting in a bag" would make me the laughingstock of the office :-o Plus, I don't think it would be comfortable for 10+ hours/day.

Loved the "old lady housecoat" observation! Oh yes, it's tempting, but then a visual pops in my head and it's not pretty. I wear sweats, or as I call them "my comfy clothes" in the evening as soon as I get home from work. Oh, the joys of elastic!

mountaindreamer
03-01-2009, 01:27 PM
hi ayah,

thanks for the site...love the skirts and will order. Also, Oluwa, love the skirts at this site too... thanks ladies, i needed a source.

AyahsClan
03-02-2009, 12:52 PM
I slap myself when I start to think old lady housecoats are looking doable.


LOL I understand that sentiment, but sometimes having something that comfortable would be nice. Lately I have been living in an old pair of sweats and a sweat shirt or a nightshirt and soft comfy robe.(the latter is for the days that I can't even get out of bed) I have not found a sarong that looks good on me. The prednisone has changed my figure...

LOL it is not easy to get our sexy on is it! It is noon here and I am wearing a cotton nightshirt with black capri bottoms underneath.

Oluwa
03-05-2009, 12:35 PM
Alyahclan...

Brand name SOFFT makes a wonder comfortable heel....check 'em out at Zappos...

I don't know if they are all alike..but the two pair I order are really soft and cushy inside...saves the ball of the foot where my joint hurt...and heel...

L.,
O.

AyahsClan
03-08-2009, 10:40 AM
With a renewed self respect I once again visited the men's section at Wallyworld. I bought 3 soft chambray shirts. I like them a lot. They are big and roomy enough to wear over my tank and over my messenger bag purse I wear draped across my body. I keep forgetting to look for the SPF wash in stuff.

On Amazon.com there are the cool vests, the ones you soak in water before wearing. I compared prices and found them to be the cheapest so I ordered 2, one is a vest with a mandarin collar, one is a complete jacket with mandarin collar. The jacket one has removable sleeves that also hold water, there is a mesh underneath the sleeves for air circulation. I think they are going to make this summer the best in a long time!

I need to get them to make cool chaps too so I can ride the motorcycle again..hehe I'd be carrying an extra 20 pounds of water.

Now I just need to find some pretty tanks. Do you think 50ish is too old to wear tanks with designs on them?

Angel Oliver
03-08-2009, 12:46 PM
I say no.....get out there and wear them with pride . As long as YOU feel comfy that is what matters so i say no it doesnt matter about age and yes wear them xxxxxx

AyahsClan
03-08-2009, 02:02 PM
Thanks Angel. I have always been a non conformist, why should I start worrying now? lol

AyahsClan
03-08-2009, 02:13 PM
Mountain Dreamer: I bought the red skirt that has hand painted ostrich feathers and sequins. The other one is a brown and black more conservative skirt. It did have a dye issue. The black will come off on your underclothes until it has been washed a few times. I love the wrap skirt too but be warned when they say the wrap skirt is so many inches, that means it will not overlap which you need at least a 6 inch overlap. So if you have a 32 inch waist, you need at least a 38 inch wrap.

Is anyone else as clothes moody as I am? I go through so many cycles. I have a cowboy stage where I wear Rocky jeans, cowboy boots and my cowboy hat, to nature woman hippy gypsy, to desert hiking boots kacki woman.....

sick n tired
03-08-2009, 09:59 PM
Wow that sounds so comfortable Ayah...I think I might like to try the soft shirts from the mens section...I have always been a non conformist, too. I was quite the opposite when I was a teen from the stereotypical one. If everyone else was wearing it, that was the main reason for me not to wear it. lol My youngest daughter is just like me and I soooo understand her. The best thing is to want to be an individual and not a copy... taking a trip on a motorcycle with hubby would be so great, so free.

mountaindreamer
03-09-2009, 06:25 AM
hi ladies,

i love the big men's shirts.....they just wrap around and are soooo comfy. I also get the really soft ones, because the stiff cotton irritates my skin. Thanks for the info on the wrap around skirts ayah.....i was wondering about that....i haven't measured in a while, but i imagine that i have not seen a 32 inch waist in some time....maybe not as bad as i think....but probably so. I have found some great skirts with elastic waists at several bargain stores (glad the hippie look is back). I am wearing these skirts in place of blue jeans....and so much more comfortable.

I really appreciate all of the great info that i get here.

Ayah, the vest that my son uses is one that you put the frozen pouch into....he has hyperhydrosis (extreme body heat) and says this is what gets him through the summer. Hope the water one works....let me know and I will pass on on to him.

phyllis

AyahsClan
03-17-2009, 03:46 PM
Hey Ladies!

Mountain Dreamer I tried the Kewlvest for the first time yesterday. I LOVED it but since I have not used the ice pack type I couldn't compare. A few people who rated the vests on Amazon said they had either ms or lupus and liked the Kewlvest, others said it did not keep them as cool as the ice pack type. For my needs it did pretty good. I was out several hours and did not start getting overheated until the very end of the day out. It has a funky triangle logo on it that looks like Star Trek emblem but I can live with it.

MD do you have any heat intolerance? Does your son have positive ANA or other immune issues? I am going to shop for an ice pack vest too because it gets well over 100 out here and I think ice style will work better to lower the core body temp than the water type.

mountaindreamer
03-17-2009, 05:33 PM
hi ayah

so glad the vest worked. i will ask my son where he got his ice vest. i am in the process of getting him into a rheumy. his pcp ran tests, and his ana was normal, but i truly suspect he does have lupus. he has been struggling with different physical problems for some time now, plus he has anxiety disorder. he uses the ice pace for "hyperhydrosis".

i have always lived in the south, and have been able to be outside in the middle of the summer for the entire day....now, i can't take the heat at all.

AyahsClan
05-03-2009, 10:42 AM
I found the coolest summer house dress! It is called a Dashiki. It is a very simple dress but comes in all kinds of colorful cotton designs. They may not be for everybody but they make me feel happy and dressed even if I'm not. Some are from Africa with traditional African designs and some Indonesia. The cotton caftans are wonderful too.

If anyone is interested at seeing them go to ebay and search dashiki, look for a store called inspiredbyangels. She has the best. If you don't like to bid you can make offers. (don't pay more than $20) shshshshshshhhhhh you didn't hear that from me.

My mom loved the one I got last month so I just bought her 2 for mothers day. She loves to do fabric art and just finished a project with a beautiful vintage design with peacocks. I ordered her the red dashiki with a peacock. Not my style but she should love it!

magistramarla
05-03-2009, 11:44 AM
Hi all,
I just read this thread. I live in Chico's clothes. The pants that they sell in the Traveler's Collection are sooo comfortable, and the cute tank tops are great. You can buy all sorts of tops and jackets to mix and match with the tanks. They can be a bit pricey, but I use the coupons that they send out, plus my frequent customer discounts. They also have an outlet store, which I love.
I've also found a mail-order catalog called Blair that sells comfy clothes. Like someone else on this thread, I prefer a bit of a heel. I've found another mail-order catalog, called Old Pueblo Traders. They sell Hushpuppies dress shoes in all colors, heel heights and sizes at great prices. I've also bought Easy Spirit walking shoes from them.
Marla

teresaa40
05-03-2009, 03:19 PM
I am starting to think it won't be long before I will have to do a rethink on wearing a bra at all. My shoulders are so painful when I reach behind my back that I have had to ask for help hooking the strap. I have tried hooking it in front first and twisting it around to the back, but, that is more painful. Everyday, getting dressed is such a chore, I gasp and groan, and avoid getting dressed at all if I can help it. I don't even think about trying on different outfits, just not gonna happen. Whatever I start with is just going to have to be it.

I have actually gotten stuck in a shirt that was a bit too snug to come off easily, and I didn't have the strength or the ability to stand the pain to pull it off.

I have had to do an entire rethink of my future wardrobe purchases, and sadly, when I go shopping, along with how the color and style look on me, I have to also think, how hard is this going to be to get in and out of.

Sad.

AyahsClan
05-03-2009, 04:14 PM
I am starting to think it won't be long before I will have to do a rethink on wearing a bra at all. My shoulders are so painful when I reach behind my back that I have had to ask for help hooking the strap. I have tried hooking it in front first and twisting it around to the back, but, that is more painful. Everyday, getting dressed is such a chore, I gasp and groan, and avoid getting dressed at all if I can help it. I don't even think about trying on different outfits, just not gonna happen. Whatever I start with is just going to have to be it.

I have actually gotten stuck in a shirt that was a bit too snug to come off easily, and I didn't have the strength or the ability to stand the pain to pull it off.

I have had to do an entire rethink of my future wardrobe purchases, and sadly, when I go shopping, along with how the color and style look on me, I have to also think, how hard is this going to be to get in and out of.

Sad.

We can still dress cool, sexy, however we want we just have to make sure we are covered up. You know what? It amazes me how much attention from men I get when I am out. I am waaaaaaay overweight. It doesn't seem to matter how sexy we think we are according to societies standards, but how we smile and feel about ourselves that is attractive.

Men always approach me for conversation and check my ring finger. (I am up and down with the vest, it is so ugly.) It has cooled off so I have been wearing loose natural fibers. For example, a cotton gauze kurta, loose cotton drawstring cotton pants or a wrap batik skirt and a beautiful sarong/scarf. Simple, covered. I'm thinking it may be more attractive to show less! Tight fitting clothes may not be as attractive as we once thought.

I was in Del Taco one day when a family from India had stopped in. The women wore traditional saris, fully covered from head to toe but you know what? They were as beautiful as fluttering butterflies. So beautiful!

On the bra issue, I gave them up. There are many other painless options that actually look MUCH nicer. I may wear very loose "sleeping" bras if at all, but I always wear a shaper tank top. I have several I found at Walmart. They go on easy and come off easy. There are a few brands that are killer "shapers". I find the one that works and stick to it. It looks so much nicer! No bra lines, no pouching, just a smooth clean curve no matter what you weigh. (I may be found reaching in and lifting a boob in the canned food isle now and then though) I think Spanx would be cool but they are too expensive. No matter what the tag says cold water wash hang dry.

Bra bands on the rib cage are so painful for me! Oh you know what else to consider? Sport tank tops with a bra shelf. You have to buy them a larger size than you normally wear. I have had to experiment with them. We need them large enough to not hurt, but small enough to hold the girls up. They are hard to get right. Sorry, I have probably already posted the same stuff before.

AyahsClan
05-03-2009, 04:32 PM
Hi all,
I just read this thread. I live in Chico's clothes. The pants that they sell in the Traveler's Collection are sooo comfortable, and the cute tank tops are great. You can buy all sorts of tops and jackets to mix and match with the tanks. They can be a bit pricey, but I use the coupons that they send out, plus my frequent customer discounts. They also have an outlet store, which I love.
I've also found a mail-order catalog called Blair that sells comfy clothes. Like someone else on this thread, I prefer a bit of a heel. I've found another mail-order catalog, called Old Pueblo Traders. They sell Hushpuppies dress shoes in all colors, heel heights and sizes at great prices. I've also bought Easy Spirit walking shoes from them.
Marla

I'll have to check out Chico's again. They were a bit pricey as I recall but I love the styles and fabrics. How do you get the coupons? I have ordered a few things from Blair. I have a hard time getting the right size from them. Most things seem to run a bit larger. I have a favorite blouse I got from Blair I think they called it a hankerchief blouse? It fits so nice and curvey. The problem is they have too much polyester at Blair and I can't stand the feel of it on my skin in the summer. All I can handle is loose cotton, hemp or a light weave linen.

I was checking out Old Pueblo Traders recently, can't remember what search took me there. You can also get the highest high end clothes at "Sierra Trading Post". It is an outlet store too. I've done business with them before and was very happy. I've been looking for summer shoes/sandals. Something funky but not typical and feminine. I have an idea in my mind but haven't found it yet.

I'm thinking of a slip on shoe, something between a maryjane and a ballet slipper, with cotton, linen or hemp uppers and a very cushiony footbed that are very washable. I like to wear breathable shoes without socks in the summer that can get thrown in the washer a lot.

magistramarla
05-03-2009, 05:18 PM
To get on Chico's list, all you have to do is buy something and sign up with them. Then, they send you the quarterly magazine in the mail to drool over, with a coupon for 10% or 20% off. Once you've spent $100 or so, you're considered a frequent customer, and the deals get better. If you have an outlet mall nearby, the best deals are at their outlet store.
I have to control myself now that I won't be teaching - I could spend a LOT of money in there.
Marla

BadFlareDay
05-03-2009, 09:07 PM
I made the mistake of living in pajamas. I didn't realize that I was putting on as much weight until I had to get dressed and found my clothes didn't fit me. Silly me didn't notice that my PJ's were getting snugger :wacko:
Bra's choke me to death, I refuse to wear one now.

froggal
05-04-2009, 12:55 AM
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