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cherokee993
02-18-2009, 09:08 PM
I'm really hurting tonight. I am sure its for a few reasons, number one being work. Then the weather and just being plain ole tired too. Today was a very stressful day. I was charge which is really rough, things were super busy trying to juggle patients to get the discharges out on time so new admissions had rooms to go to, juggling every task that needed to be done at all times, its just sooooo much. It is hard and then I come home and my hands are hurting so bad right now I feel like I could just cry.

I cannot take anything else for it - I've taken the vicodin earlier and that didn't help for long and then an hour ago I took 600 ibuprofen and I really shouldn't take the ibuprofen b/c it causes problems with my stomach but I had to try it and now my hands hurt still and my tummy hurts. :( I'm off work tomorrow (yay) but I have a dentist appointment at noon so I can't sleep in and I have to go back for another 12 hours of work on Friday so that will be starting all over again. And I can't take the vicodin at work so that realllly stinks.

I don't know what to say, there isn't a real purpose to this post. I'm just sharing/venting/etc. I've been having some "blanks" in my memory lately and that is frustrating. A few dizzy spells here and there, my hands hurt and are so stiff and getting swollen. My fingers going numb and tingly and cold, then back to pain, and stiff. UGH!!!!!!!!! And I have to work so its not like I can just stay home and be miserable, I have to go to work and be miserable! LOL!

But anyway, I just had to get that all out. I wish I could take something...can't do plaq. b/c I am allergic to it apparently, can't do steroids b/c of my diabetes - causes horrible problems, and when I go back to my rheum in March we are to talk about Imuran vs. methotrexate but I'm very scared about those and unsure. I can't take a med that might make me sick to my stomach or miserable, kwim? But I have to do something this pain is getting really bad.

Sorry to ramble on, just needed a hug/understanding words from those who understand so well!

Oluwa
02-18-2009, 09:55 PM
Giving you tight, warm hug, Amy..squeeze. I like head hugs. You too...squeeze.

Take a warm shower to help with the pain, to bring it down to your 'norm' after your hard day off. For me, it is like it de-stresses my body....makes it less tingling with pain.

No doubt the pain, is affecting your memory too. Lupus does it on its own also. I call that my Gumby mode.

Slather on some lotion...and curl up in a ball and watch a movie. Helps to keep the focus off your pain....

Massage your hands to keep the blood circulating. For me, that helps...

How has your sleep been? Little sleep for me, magnifies my pain....

How is your blood pressure? Eating? Times I get dizzy for unknown reasons, except to say it is Lupus....

March is a spell away...any chance to move up the appointment.

I hope you sleep well tonight, Amy and tomorrow is better,,,

Hugs, sweet dreams.
Love,
Oluwa

Rastagirl
02-18-2009, 09:55 PM
I'm here to offer that hug you need and some understanding....

So sorry you're hurting right now. :( What a difficult and stressful day for you. The joint pains all hurt so terribly wherever they are in our body....but when our hands and fingers get it, it always feels even worse. At least for me. We use our hands for so much...they're just being used over and over throughout our day, and the repetition is such an aggravating factor. I know you don't feel like it when you're going through all this, but you are such a strong person, Amy....to face the challenging work that you do and make it through your shift. That's an amazing feat! You are a blessing to your children, who depend on you to go to that job to support your family. That is a huge deal. I so wish that you didn't have to work....I wish that for every single person suffering with Lupus...that they could just take the day off when they were suffering. That would be the ideal world, wouldn't it? I truly feel for you...having to go through that all day and then come home and do your second job, as Mom.

I understand your frustration with the pain meds and the ones for your Lupus. Lars77 started a thread about Imuran that I responded to earlier today. I spent quite a few years on Imuran, combined with Prednisone, and I believe the Imuran was what helped put me in a lasting remission. If you haven't read that one, you might take a look at people's comments. It can be such a difficult decision about which meds to trust in our bodies.

I'm glad you came here to vent....that we have this place and it's safe to do that here. It's amazing to me that sometimes just letting it all out with our words on a page can bring a little relief. Just knowing that at the other end, there is always someone that will listen, understand, and reach out to comfort. That is what draws me back to this place time and time again.

I hope you can get some rest tonight, and maybe after your appointment tomorrow. Take it easy on yourself.

Sending you HUGS, very gentle ones.....

Lori :)

mountaindreamer
02-19-2009, 04:29 AM
hi amy,

hugs to you tonight. I hope you can get some restful sleep tonight, and i wish for you a day of little pain tomorrow. i too wish you did not have to work especially in such a stressful job....

Angel Oliver
02-19-2009, 04:36 AM
Hi and i am so sorry to read you are in such pain and dizzy and memory problems.I hope March comes round real quick for you, i really do. Well done for keeping up n the work front...wow...you should be so proud of yourself. I am so glad though you shared you story and i so hope you will begin to feel better inside even if just a little knowing we are reading your post and sending love and good vibes to you over the airwaves :) I hope your reumi sorts out your meds when you see him, so you feel some relief. In the meantime, massage and a good film to your mind busy sounds like a fab idea....id take Oluwa's advice. I am sorry i have no words of wisdom.....instead.....you are in my thoughts and im visualizing massaging the pain away....did you feel any difference? lol.....i hope you did. Keep strong and we are all thinking of you.

Love and massages
Angel.xxxx

gina
02-19-2009, 06:16 AM
I too work 40 a week and have and 11 year old who wears me out. i don't take any meds they all make me sick in one way or another have tramadol for pain that i take as last resort. i feel by covering it up on drugs lets it beat me the less meds i take i feel better that he i made it thru today without meds. and every moring no matter how bad yesterday was i got up. and look at things that way. my memory also is going and i get dizzy a few times not on reg basis but when i do i cuss and say its the lupus again and move on. really life is too short to allow this to take over our lives. its not like we can have surgery to remove it.

rob
02-19-2009, 07:14 AM
Hi Amy,

Feeling trapped by pain is no fun. I no longer work, so I get to stay home and feel like crap! Sometimes, there's nothing I can take for pain, and I have stomach problems from the meds that I do take, so I know how you feel. White knuckle grin and bear it really saps a persons energy, and patience. I go from zero to totally pissed off in about 1 second flat these days. Sometimes all we can hope for is a better day tomorrow. I know it's not much. Just know that we understand, and you are not alone.

Rob

cherokee993
02-19-2009, 09:48 AM
Thanks for the kind thoughts, hugs and words everyone. Went to bed last night and had a rough night sleeping as well as my son had a rough night sleeping. Woke up this morning and he was hot and crying and his cheeks were red and he was snotty! So I called and cancelled the dentist appointment to reschedule for another day. Gave him some meds and now we are both home in our jammies on the loveseat cuddling. And watching children's tv shows all day LOL!

Yes my appointment isn't until March and unfortunately that is the soonest they have, I have tried to get it moved before and they can't do it. They are "overbooked" I suppose. I really like her though so I just suck it up and deal. They are very nice there but I think sometimes I'm a pain in their butts, I dunno. Anyway, when I go back I will have to discuss the med options with her. My fears of Imuran and Methotrexate are a lot to do with the immune system issue. I work in a hospital and I have a three year old, germs are a HUGE part of my life, so taking a med that "may" weaken my immune system even more (my diabetes already slows my healing process) scares me. But maybe it won't bother my system at all, no way to know but to try. I'm thinking if we do go ahead with the Imuran or Meth. we can try starting it when I have several days off in a row that way I can see how it affects me, kwim? Then I can see how I handle it before I have to go in to work.

In the meantime I'm going to rest as much as I can today b/c I already know tomorrow will be a very busy day at work. Then I will say some prayers as I go to bed tonight for a peaceful and pleasant day!

I'm off the weekend so that will be a couple of days of rest.

:):)

Thanks again for just letting me vent, it feels good and is so helpful to have someone to talk to about the whole thing!

mountaindreamer
02-19-2009, 11:49 AM
snuggling on the loveseat, in jammies, and watching children's tv all day .....ah, the vision is such a sweet picture.

Oluwa
02-19-2009, 06:07 PM
Amy..

I will say prayers for you to have a restful, peaceful night too...

Pace yourself tomorrow so you can have some reserve to enjoy a part of your weekend off...

I too am considering having a discussion with my Rheumba about others drugs...Cellcept, Imuran...I just haven't made the call. Tired of doctors for a spell. Plaquenil seems to have run it's course with me as Lupus does circles around me.

I tried upping the dose from 400mg to 600mg. No difference in pain. How I remember how I felt when I first was on it. Wonderful.

Sleep tight...sweet dreams.
Hugs..
Love,
Oluwa