Angel Oliver
02-11-2009, 01:18 PM
Hi Everyone,

All day i have felt so upset after another visit with my doctor. I told you all i put in a complaint to the hospital when they left me in pain over Christmas.Ive have heard nothing back and should have by now.It was an official complaint as well in writing.

I also told you that my last 2 visits to my own Doctor, he was doing paperwork whilst i was with him, taking phonecalls and people were coming in the room whilst i was having my consultation.
I saw him Monday because i have stopped weeing.HE told me to come back today.
I turned up early.After an hour i saw the receptionist.She said he's forgot me cause the computer thing was working properly. She said you can go in next. 3 people still went in before me.I told the recep this and she said, i dnt know why he's not called you. Ten minutes later i went in to see him. I sat down as he totally ignored me. So i started to talk. He said give me a minute. He seemed so angry and horrible. He then for the next 2 minutes did his paperwork again. I then tried to speak.He told me to wait as someone has died and he is busy. On hearing this my heart sunk. I then told him, i'll change doctors because he does'nt seem interested in me at all. He said ok but come back next week for a last check up.OMG he doesnt even know whats up with me he keeps telling me to come back as he's busy. I mentioned about my M.E. He then snapped at me saying stop saying M.E.You have no brain imflamation you have chronic fatigue syndrome. He told me to come back next week.I left the room.

I now think ''no one believes me''. I feel so hurt just cause the last 3 times ive made the effort to go and see him, to pay taxi's to get to him, to wait and then when i do see him he ignores me and takes phone calls....what is it about me?

I now will continue the anti biotics for the urnirary problem. I dont know what to do about anything else now. Ive lost ALL my confidence in ALL medical people. I dont know what to do.I can not stick up for myself anymore. He made me sound pathetic.The funny thing is, he told me to remind him today about the hospital complaint lol. He was in such a mood i didnt bother. I wont be going back next week to waste my money to get there and to be humiliated again.Now im thinking, will he write on my records im a hyapcondriact...and i have to go through it again? Mass panic is set in now. I dont know what to do.


02-11-2009, 01:44 PM
Angel my love,

I am so sorry to hear you are being treated this way!
Bloody unbeleivable drs are in this day and age!
Dont back down though, you should say summin to him for being rude, ask him why he is treating you this way?! i would want to know if it was me, lifes to short to be humpy and it all doesnt sound very proffesional to me, does he realise that you are a person too?

Try not to worry too much about it all, you dont wanna be stressed out at this time!

Cheeky swine tho..........want me to come over and give him a peice of my mind?


Angel Oliver
02-11-2009, 01:51 PM

Hope you are ok today. Thanks for your post. Yes i did want to ask what his problem was, but i felt a bit humiliated, like i was a waste of space. I think from now on, until i get my confidence back, i need help.Im going to ask my nurse for help. I carnt go on being afraid of everyone. Oh i feel so upset today.I'll come back when i feel better. Thanks allot friend.xxxxx

02-11-2009, 02:22 PM
hi angel,

I can not understand how drs. can treat people like they do. Do you live close enough to a clinic like the Mayo that has a variety of physicians. They take your case on, and you see different drs. specializing in each aspect of this disease. I wish so badly that I could help you find a solution to a problem that IS NOT YOUR FAULT.

After some questionable actions by the hospital during my last visit, I asked my PCP if there is anything that I need to do to ensure my treatament. Her response was: "when you have a difficult medical situation like you do, I am afraid that you must always be your own advocate." Not what I wanted to hear, but I guess is reality.

hang tough - though I am sorry that you have to do this.


02-11-2009, 02:40 PM

Im having a faily ok dayish, i was on top form this morning now im not so sure lol anyway............

Im gonna let you all into a little secret, not alot of ppl no this and i have hid it really well to everyone so far, unitl i filled out my medical today and had to come to terms with it :(

Im really weak atm too, i wont go anywhere (out of my village) without my mum, there is no way on earth i would go to my hospital appointments by myself, going to meet new ppl is a BIG no no for me, I was soo confident b4 (SLE) i would go anywhere by myself, since ive also been off work im too scared to leave the house because i think ppl are always watching me and judging me, i get really anxious if i have to go to the shop sometimes to get a pint of milk or wotever, i cant stand in ques because i get pannick attacks and il be agressive (not knowing or realising sometimes).
My only way of being confident is in my house on here and facebook,

So what im getting at is your not alone, im here with you 100% of the way!

now everyone nos my secret AAAAAGGGGHHHHHH :D


02-11-2009, 03:02 PM
Gentle hugs to both Angel and iseedeadmonkeys

My heart goes out to you both.

Angel, I wish I was close enough to go to your next doctor's appointment with you. I would be happy to bring my cast iron fry pan and teach the snippy insulting "doctor" a lesson.

When he told you to hush that some one had died...my response would have been "Little bloody wonder with you for a doctor...you MUST lose alot of patients do to your poor doctoring skills!"

As he would not be my doctor any longer I would have ended with you stupid idiot, and stormed out.

But I think you are a much gentler person than I am, and he can thank his lucky stars for that.


My sister and my best friend suffer from anxiety attacks, so I know they are not easy to try and live your life with. My heart goes out to you.

Trust me when I say the more you talk about it and trust the people in your life with the knowledge the more free you will feel.

I have to go but I'll be back later, hugs to you both.

02-11-2009, 05:31 PM
Ahhh Angel.....

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. :cry: Hugs to you for having to endure such an experience.

What an insensitive, uncaring doctor. No wait....let me add a few other choice words....RUDE, SELF-IMPORTANT, DISRESPECTFUL, ILL MANNERED, CLUELESS, Son of a *female dog* (I'll sensor myself here)!!!!!! :bad-words:

Why do these doctors become doctors??...It is obvious that they do not care about people! I don't get it.

You should give all of us his address so we can write him letters telling him what a jerk he is for making our Angel feel so badly. He'd be sitting, opening his mail one day, and find a barrage of letters telling him he's a mean person without any doctoring skills.

Sorry, Angel, this probably isn't helping you any....it just made me so mad when I read your post. I wish you could fire this doctor and find one with some bedside manners.

Sometimes it's just so hard to stand up to intimidating, rude people, especially if you are a kind, caring, considerate person. If I lived closer, I'd come with SITS to your appointment too. My wrists are too weak to pick up a cast iron skillet, but I could kick him in the shins for you, if you want. :lol:

I'm sending gentle, caring hugs for your aching heart......


Lori :P

02-11-2009, 05:52 PM
I feel the same way Rastagirl

Sorry Angel if my words sounded so strong, but it saddens me to think of you going through all the effort and worry to go see him in the first place and to be treated like THAT.

You deserve much better. My rhuemy is as warm as last nights supper. But I have a wonderful family doctor who treats me with respect and is actually helpful and caring. That's what I wish for you. It make a big differnce when you are dealing with a stressful and painful condition to know that your doctor is working "with" you.

Hugs, hope you can find a doctor who "earned" the right to be called doctor.

02-11-2009, 05:53 PM
hey sorry to hear bout ur treatment...
nothing much I can add here really just wanted to give u a chin up..

oh and find another doc.... :lol:

02-11-2009, 06:14 PM
hey iseedeadmonkeys,

Remember, this forum is a place where we don't get judged. My son suffers from extreme anxiety attacks, so I understand where you are coming from.

thanks for sharing with us.


02-11-2009, 06:29 PM
Did the Doc in a Box even examine you to try and determine why you can't urinate? Someone needs to open a can of whoop-a** and set him straight. If you're feeling humiliated and beat down by him, try to find an advocate to act on your behalf. Personally, I have been a doormat all my life and would have a tough time sticking up for myself. As much as I detest how confrontational and in- your-face my SIL is, I would want her taking on that good for nothing "doctor.". If you're still not able to urinate, please find an emergency clinic and demand help. Sorry for the rant, but people who dismiss others like that good for nothing did to you make me want to scream!

Ok....deep breath (me, not you). I feel better and hope you will too. BTW, get your med records ASAP so nothing disappears from your chart and you can avoid the wrath of his pen by providing the records directly to your new doc.

Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 05:28 AM
Oh what a breath of fresh air.I laughed soooooooo much reading these posts.You all should be famous comedians lol....so funny, the pan thing, the shin move, the choice of words...that dog thing oh god you all so funny and thanks for them cause i am actually laughing now :)
I too an identify with exactly the same....unable to shop,work and transport thing....panic is such a terrible feeling.Thanks for sharing that with us. I read this post and i so wish i could have that courage you all have.I was getting it back, cause you all gave me the courage to write that letter of complaint at Christmas.But i have to now realise, i can not do it anymore. Ive lost my confidence now big time. If you see it post it back to me lol :)

Thanks so much for these lovely posts, i really appreciated it.


02-12-2009, 06:30 AM
"Someone died, and he is busy". Well, it's nice to know that he cares more about a corpse in the morgue than a living patient sitting right in front of him. You should have told Dr. Mengele that if you wanted an effing undertaker, you'd go to a funeral home.

Sorry, I'm kinda jumping on the trash the doc bandwagon here a bit. These Dr.'s are a joke. People like you and I should not have to suffer the consequences of their inability to communicate or feel empathy. I've said this many times before to many people-I wish I was there to help. I'd go with you to your appointments and back you up. If someone mistreated you, I would show them the error of their ways.

You know you have every single person here behind you 100%. Don't forget that.


Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 06:56 AM
Oh thanks Rob and yes i know i do. I know there are good doctors out there, i just need to find them. Think they've knocked my confidence once too often.

Hope you are feeling a little better today and your pain is under control and you slept.


02-12-2009, 07:13 AM

I feel rotten still. Slept about two hours. Terrible short dreams that woke me up constantly made me give up on sleep for now. Hey, I see you got the photobucket thing figured out. Didn't know you were a Baywatch babe!

I think you have the right attitude. There are good doc's out there, you just need to find them. Your lack of confidence is very understandable, and justified.

Have you gotten any more snow over there? I'm so happy to see that it's raining here. A sure sign that spring is near, and the rain melts the snow and washes it all away fast. I don't usually associate snow with the UK, so it was really something to see that picture ISDM posted of her snowman. Anyway, I'm off to lay down for a bit. Hope you have a good day.


02-12-2009, 07:21 AM
((((((Angel))))) gentle hugs to you dear girl.
Did you see my post on my missing bum? I think maybe your courage is with my missing bum. They both went a missing. (just a wee bit a humor)
Seriously I am sorry you were treated that way. It is so frustrating when these high an mighty doctors who at the end of the day put their pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else. He has letters behind his name so he thinks he is all that. I'll give him some letters.
Dr. Angels Self Righteous Physician A.S.S.H.O.L.E There think he'll like those letters?
Cheer up sweetpea we got your back.


Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 11:05 AM
lol you are sooooo funny.Thanks for the giggle. :)


02-12-2009, 12:57 PM

Kasey reminded me of a song. I think it was written specifically for people like your Doctor. Click the link, and enjoy-
BTW- It's not safe for work, just so everyone knows.


Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 01:08 PM

Oh i so want to burn it onto a cd and send it my Doctor .Oh thanks, my ribs are hurting now.Oh its nice to laugh.Thanks.xxxxxx

sick n tired
02-12-2009, 01:10 PM
:rofl: :lol: :lol:
Rob, that is hilarious...Thanks for the laugh of the day...

BTW..I agree, It does fit

02-12-2009, 01:10 PM

Do you have an aggressive/assertive friend you can bring with you to MD appts to help advocate for you? This may keep the MDs in check...

I remember a couple yrs ago I was in the ER for severe head pain, nausea, uncontrolled vomiting, possible meningits.... A friend of mine came with me and had to yell at the nurses to get someone to see me quickly. She has this way to speak up with authority, possibly because she has owned a daycare for years but people listen to her, and don't give lipservice back to her!

I think I need to send her to you and have her set that jerk, I mean MD (stands for mean doctor!) in his place!!!

Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 01:18 PM
No, im alone. I have 1 friend who lives along way from me.Shes the one who at Christmas, when she saw the pain i was in.She took me to the hospital and she took them all on.She told her....if this girl leaves the emergency dept tonight....you will loose a limb.I was so shocked....but also so very grateful. She has a family, young babies so she cant come with me.My Boyfriend lives a few hundred miles away also. I live with my Mam who had a brain hemerage and my Brother is dissabled...so cant ask them.
Today i was going to call and ask my nurse for her advice.But to be honest, after yesterday, im a bit to emotional.So i'll see how i feel tmrw and call then maybe.
The last thing i want is her to think its me with the attitude problem.I seem to have had a few run ins lately and each one of them was not my fault. The Christmas saga, the nurse im going to call tmrw and now my doctor.
Thanks for you advice and help though. :)


02-12-2009, 03:20 PM
I also had a Dr. treat me bad. It was a Rheum. When I went in I was in a phycosis state they overdosed me on predisone in 2007. When I went to see him and explained I was having some terrible cramping in my hands and feet. He look at me and said nothing is wrong with you and threw his pencil down and left. Well see this Dr was a Dr that I al;so worked with and was having pressure to get me back to work.
Some of these Drs. think they are holier than thou. Well as far as I know they put their clothes on the same way I do. They eat and sleep like I do so where do they think they are better than us. Maybe ore educated but that does not give them the right to treat people the way they do.
I changed Drs. after my incident to someone outside of my work. He found that my Ra factor was off the chart. Please find a different Dr that will listen.
Gentle Hugs

Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 05:16 PM
Wow Cindy,

Well done for having the courage to do that. Im glad you got a new one. If that would have been me.....i think i would have cried like a baby. What did you do when he through the pencil...did you say anything to him? Cheeky monster.

You know, my experience i imagine, you know as i open the doctors door, a beam of light shines on them and a halo appears above their heads. I trusted them all and respect what they say.So for me and my experience, was like a slow motion punch to my chest.I was totally mortified and felt like i am a time waster. I so wish it came with broken limbs, my illness, so they could see the plaster and so know exactly where i hurt. If i had to wear plaster......it'd be a full bodycast lol :) with sparkling lights and music....yeh the music Rob sent me lol. :)

Thanks for your advice though.Its a hard call when you feel everyones against you and i dont have the 'lupus crew' with me to kick shins or hit them with pans lol. I'll see how i feel tmrw and i may phone the nurse, to see if she can be my voice until i get tough again.

Hope you have a lovely day.


02-12-2009, 06:49 PM
That was hilarious!!! Oh gosh we laughed so hard. ROFL

HubbyMan and I have this saying. Well okay its me who has the saying he is usually on the receiving end of it. When I get really frustrated or angry with him a moron. Thats KaseySpeak for ASSHOLE. That way I can really let him know how I feel and not sear in front of my kidlets. Been doing this for probably 20+ years.


Angel Oliver
02-12-2009, 06:52 PM
Lol Noodlemom....good sometimes to have codes for certain words :) Good on ya.xxx

Angel Oliver
02-19-2009, 05:22 PM
Not heard anything back from my nurse yet.Think she'll let me know if she has found someone to come with me to medical appointments when i next see her in a couple of weeks.She said it would take time.But she was very positive about it. So i'll let you know soon.xxx

02-19-2009, 05:45 PM
glad you are staying on this...i hope the nurse can come through for you.

Angel Oliver
02-20-2009, 05:43 AM
Thank you Mountaindreamer.xxxx

02-20-2009, 08:20 AM
Just wanted to share a small experience yesterday...

had to go to gyn for a uterine biopsy and met with the NP/midwife who helped deliver my twins nearly 22 yrs ago. Glad she moved up here.

She wanted to draw a CMP and CBC since, ironically, none of those have been run in 6 mos on me with everything that is going on. Weird labs up the wazoo but nobody knows my H&H or RBC or anything, lol. Well I asked if she could also run a calcitonin test since my mom died of thyroid cancer I am supposed to have it done annually and haven't had it for more than 2.5 years. Evidently if the levels go up, thyroid comes out, as the type of cancer she has makes this level go up, and it is very hereditary.....

She told me calcitonin is a nasal spray for osteoporosis, not a lab test!!! That I had to have it wrong and meant calcium.... She even looked it up... I tried to explain that it is a thyroid hormone, and rises with medullary thyroid cancer which my mom had the hereditary form of and it is a dominant gene and all us three kids have the gene that predisposes us to this... NO go. She just would not listen and could not find the test. So I have to wait to remind another doc another time.

Meanwhile I came home and went to labtestsonline and printed the info for her. Should I send it to her?

Then later, she was questioning my dx of a PE 11 years ago as for some reason it is not on my medical history... I felt like she was trying to tell me it did't happen! I know I wasn't treated correctly for it when it happened but it has been confirmed thru Mayo clinic and also a good local Pulmonary specialist who has seen my records 1 year after it happened... How strange is that? She was trying to tell me a PE does not cause coughing up of blood or a pleural effusion! Heck I nearly DIED from that whole ordeal and my care was negilgent to say the least during that time! I felt like telling her to stick to her specialty and let them stick to theirs! I have many of my records, and found one that says, hx of PE and will send that to her.

So I have to go back for more tests but seeing a doc for those. Just waiting for my bx results which will be in a week from Monday as she is going on vacation. Not worried as I expect it to be nothing so waiting is no big deal. If my labs are screwy, my primary doc will call me as he can access them thru the system as offices are interconnected to each other and hospital.

Angel Oliver
02-20-2009, 08:33 AM
Oh Kuk/krissy,

Yes i would send her the info with a photo of your butt too. How insensitive and unprofessional.At least if she has the correct info you can prove how incompetent she really is, that a patient has to do her work for her.Makes me so angry.As if you have' nt enough to cope with, I know what you mean, you end up feeling like you made the whole of your medical history up yourself.Its a bit scary that she seemed to lack allot of knowledge. I too had a P.E and she is wrong to have made you feel this way. I hope your recent tests come back ok.I am sending you big gentle hugs for how she made you feel.

Angel who wants more snow:) xxx

02-20-2009, 09:26 AM
Can the photo of me be one flipping her the bird?!?! LOL

02-20-2009, 09:57 AM
Hi Angel,

I am so sorry to hear all the garbage that you have been through. I was kinda in your situation once. I had went to a rheumi that was unbelievable. He would not look me in the face. He would hardly listen to what I had to say. Just wanted to make sure I had my prescriptions for a year and thought he was done. I had been out of work for 3 months due to my lupus. But wasn't really sure at the time if that is what it was. My primary care Doctor felt I needed to be on disability. But this rheumi Dr. said he does'nt do disability for his patients. He thinks they can will their way back to good health. What a jerk!!! Well anyway I was done with him. I have a wonderful Dr. now he is great. very sympathetic with my illness. Just the other day I had to go in and get injections in both my hips the pain was so bad, I could barely walk. He also said he would help me 100% on my disability. Angel, you just have to look and weed out the bad ones. There has got to be a good one out there for you. Also, I have had to learn to be my own mouth piece. I used to be very timid and soft spoken. But not anymore. If you don't speak up for yourself they are'nt going to listen. I have learned that the hard way. Now when I see a Doctor I write down everything that is wrong with me and I also do research so i can back my mouth up :) Well I hope this might make you feel a lil better. Please stay in touch, hugs & kisses always helps :) Take care & God Bless Tammy

Angel Oliver
02-20-2009, 11:16 AM
Hi Everyone,

I do try. I started taking advice off this forum and i started to write down notes.I found when i got there, the Doctor spoke over me.So i wrote a list.He said, i dont read notes at appointments, i do that on a friday, or something like that. For some reason, now i feel invisible like they dont want to listen to me. I am so glad Tammylyn you found a good Doctor who cares. I will keep looking.I am determined to get my confidence back, but i think when you've been so ill, you get to a point where the fight gets knocked out of you. I do feel a bit ashamed that i can not make myself be heard.I feel like a child again. But hpefully, if someone comes with me, i can see where i am going wrong, by learning how they speak to Doctors and then feel less intimidated.

Angel & thanks all for the replies.It does help me.xx

02-20-2009, 02:20 PM
angel, it is not you that is doing anything wrong. the scad dr. is wrong. Someone being with you will hopefully make him behave. He may be frustrated that he can't help you, i don't know, but that is no reason to be a jerk. IT IS NOT YOU

Angel Oliver
02-20-2009, 02:26 PM
Ah thanks Mountain dreamer. I have sent you a couple of messages, in fact i have sent a few messages to people on here, but i think im doing something wrong.So if you think im ignoring you i am not.lol :) I think somehow i am not sending the private mails right. I will learn it as i go along.

Yes, thanks.When i am there i do keep positive, but then as the appointment goes on, for example like when the doctor says he wont read my list i have made cause he reads paperwork on a friday.....or as more recent im told to be quiet while he makes a personal phone call....i can feel myself getting lower n lower inside. Then i think to myself.....it must be me. But i think deep down it isnt.

Oh just wait till my confidence comes back......i'll show em :)


02-20-2009, 02:30 PM
you go girl

02-20-2009, 02:35 PM
i just sent you a message....I got yours..let me know if you get my reply. It was weird, i had to delete your message to send a "reply"

Angel Oliver
02-20-2009, 02:44 PM
I just got it..read it then deleted it then replied...so hope you got it lol :)

02-20-2009, 08:16 PM
I think a group trip to your doctor is in order from all of us here LOL! He needs to be thoroughly encouraged to treat you with the respect and attention you deserve.


Angel Oliver
02-21-2009, 06:09 AM
Oh thank you.....just imagining his face as we all walk in and him coughing on his cup of coffee lmao. :) That'd wake him up :)

Angel Oliver
02-23-2009, 06:50 AM
I have had news on the ''advocate''. Please go to ''you have to laugh'' on my blog and read on.I will post here soon ....just feel a bit rough at the mo.
Hope you all are feeling a touch better today. Once i sleep.....i know i'll feel better :)


02-24-2009, 08:41 AM
Dear Angel:

I have problems with my Drs. staff, not the Dr. himself. The last time I went in they had no appt. scheduled for me and I made the appointment with them over the phone. That is the second time they screwed up and I had no appointment.

Yesterday, one of the Drs. called and said that a culture test of mine was contaminated.
She asked me if the medicine they gave me was working. I said, "I think so", but is is working slowly. She said, "Why don't you make an appointment and see your regular Dr?"
I had gone to Urgent Care, initially. I told her that it would take a month to get an appointment with him and I would probably be dead by then. I also told her the girls in the office weren't very flexible. She said, "What if I can get you in tomorrow?" I said, "I'll wait and see how the medicine works." The point of this conversation is that the Drs. don't know what goes on with the staff, or the appointments, or the scheduling problems, etc.

I was supposed to see my Dr. a couple of weeks ago, but I didn't even make the appointment for this visit at all. I was just plain disgusted!

I am not going back until the Dr. refuses to refill my medications!