View Full Version : Why is it so "in your head"

02-03-2009, 07:44 AM
As I read through a lot of the posts here I realize that we share a common problem, that doctors often think its "all in our heads". Or for me its "because I'm diabetic and because I'm overweight". I swear sometimes if I stubbed my toe the doc would tell me its b/c I'm diabetic. LOL I'm joking but I'm somewhat serious in that issue!

Is it b/c lupus and RA are so designer and random in their presentation? Is it b/c doctors just don't know, what do you think? I feel like I'm buttered up and rolling around in a bowl of spices to see what sticks, kwim?

I have a fear of being seen as a hypochondriac. B/c I am a nurse and I work in the hospital and you know the old theory of if you work in healthcare you will eventually take on the symptoms (or think you do) of other peopple. Well my patients are new moms and babies so I don't think I'm going to take on their symptoms LOL ROFL.

Also medication wise, I take pain meds for this pain. Obviously there are limits to when I can take them b/c I do work full time. But why do I feel like people are judging me when I go to the pharmacy to pick up my meds? Why does vicodin (or any other pain med but thats waht I'm on) have such a negative connotation. I just want to scream to people, HELLO I'm really in PAIN and I'm NOT a Druggie!!!!!!!!!!

Anyone else feel that way?

02-03-2009, 07:53 AM

i get that feeling all the time too, i used to work in a medical health care (private school for epilepsy) and i thought wow did i have these too? i have seizures but they are not that of the epileptic type,
So i have this friend who doesnt even think of things like this will ppl assume im a hypercondriact (sp?)
she goes out of her way always having summin wrong with her and her children i think they call that summin else when ure own children are involved but thtink of the name, at least we admit it, even though we are worng and there is actually summin wrong


Angel Oliver
02-03-2009, 07:53 AM

I so understand what you mean. Recently a paramedic looked at my meds and said ''you should be 65 years old on those meds''. Oh inside i was shouting YOU RUDE LITTLE *****RD. People can be so insensitive. As if im taking all the drugs for fun. I even wrote a letter of complaint and found myself telling them i have asthma bla bla bla.I shouldnt have to. I too am in pain and it's nobody's business. I know what you mean about thinking others including doctors think you are a hypacondriact.I too think that sometimes.....ok most of the time. We have an illness that sometimes makes us look very well or that you cant see. I also find myself worrying about what others think of me or judging me. The bottom line is...we are sick whether they can see it or not. You just live your life as best you can and remember we all understand what you are going through. Try and ignore what you 'think' people are thinking like i am trying too.I find if i worry about them too much i feel very low, so i try not to think too much...if you know what im trying to say lol :) Im waffling again lol :)


02-03-2009, 07:59 AM
I think a lot of the problem with treating autoimmune patients like hypochondriacs is because most of us don't look sick. I don't know about other people, but I also didn't have the typical markers like a high ESR to show inflammation. I have a positive ANA, but it seems like if there is not a blood test to tell the doctor that inflammation is currently occurring - they think you are a chronic complainer. Once I was finally diagnosed and I told my GP I felt like I was finally vindicated of a crime I didn't commit, he told me that unfortunately there are people who abuse the health system and just see doctors for attention and doctors become cynical. So how can a patient convince their doctor that they are not a chronic complainer? It is a dangerous situation, because I know I wait too long to see a doctor for problems because of how I have been treated in the past. How can we change the system?

Angel Oliver
02-03-2009, 08:03 AM
Yes Bama,

Just how i feel ....you wrote what i should have wrote. Yes how do we make them understand.....we are ill......how do we prove what they can not see and feel?


02-03-2009, 07:39 PM
I can totally relate! I am a nurse, who has lupus. I don't look sick. Usually. People are constantly questioning the validity of my illness, emotions, complaints. And it's always the same response - "but you don't look sick." Well, thank the good Lord for small blessings! I can still look cute while my insides are being munched up.
This is a huge issue for me emotionally. It completely exhausts me. I guess I shouldn't let it get to me, but I start to doubt myself, etc. It was also a huge issue as we were struggling the diagnosis process with my daughter. So many doctors, nurses, receptionists gave me the "give me a break" look. I wanted to scream so many times! I know we don't look sick. I know sometimes we don't even act sick. But HELLO! We are. Please shove the judgmental attitudes and help us.
Sorry to vent....but happy to have a place to do it! thx for listening.

02-03-2009, 10:20 PM
my mom told me "heather, if you do have lupus, you will be judged. People will think that it's all in your head or that you are a whiner.. but you will know and the people that love you will know"

my mom has been my strength through all that ive been through lately she has fibromyalgia and raenoids disease and ppl have been telling her that for years.. but you can't fake the kind of pain i see my mom go through.

02-04-2009, 08:45 AM
To me, I think part of the problem is that Lupus is such a "designer" disease and the fact that everyday there are the same, different, or some of the same and some different symptoms. Unless you are living it, how can you really know how it feels to have it.

Also, some Drs. are more sensitive than others, and have more understanding of the disease and of the suffering of others period.

02-04-2009, 10:35 AM
I'm not sure I'm understanding the phrase "designer" disease. Can someone please clarify? Thx so much!

02-06-2009, 06:39 AM
Loved your post...sorry you too feel hurt....what would we all do if there was not a computer..we would all be alone...that frightens me the most.

02-06-2009, 09:00 AM
I'm not sure I'm understanding the phrase "designer" disease. Can someone please clarify? Thx so much!

I think the term means basically that there is no "standard" or "generic" form of th disease. Like with diabetes there are specific symptoms and things that have to be in place to be diagnosed with diabetes. Lupus however and other auto immune diseases seem to just have a bit of this and a bit of that, specific symptoms of one thing and specific symptoms of another thing. No two people have the same exact symptoms I guess. There is a mixed bag of stuff.

I think thats the meaning :):)

02-06-2009, 10:54 AM
thanks cherokee! just wanted to be sure i was on the same page!