View Full Version : help! need advice on taking care of child
06-26-2008, 09:47 PM
i am 26 with a daughter 3 we dont live near family/friends. she likes to play, climb, jump i like to sleep. i try to play with her but fatigue hits suddenly and i get so frusrated :evil: i end up hurting her feelings. i feel like i spoil her with everything i can give her but she just wants me and i am not able to be what she needs. :( i feel so guilty one minute i am happy and playful the next im sending her to her room. she must be so confused. i have reached out to some friends who take her but distance keeps that from happening often. i have trouble sitting standing and laying in certain ways. :?: i need advice on how i can spend time with her and how some of you have dealt with having flares and being a good parent
all advice,recomendations helpful hints will be greatly appreciated thanks :?
06-26-2008, 10:02 PM
I wish I had an answer for you. I have 4 kids, ages 10,5, 4, and 8 months.
The thing that's worked best for me is having older siblings. LOL! I"m serious though. My 10 y/o has been a lifesaver the past 2 months.
What about a mothers helper who could come in for a few hours in the afternoon so you can sleep- even just a few times a week? There's lots of High School and college kids in need of small jobs like that. I've considered it.
06-26-2008, 10:09 PM
So sorry to hear of your lousy symptoms - all while trying to be a mommy....I fully understand, I got sick about 9 months after my son was born. But when I really got sick - bedridden - I would have "special" time in Mommy's bed. We would color, or play cards - renting a movie is best - and you are still in bed but all your attention is on her. Even a story. I used to read one chapter a night out of a big book so they would be waiting to hear the rest the next night. I used "Harry Potter" but, that may be a bit old for her right now. Just try and make it "special"...turn out the lights, make popcorn - its HER time.
They feel really attended to, and you are still in bed getting your rest. THis is what worked for me for years with my kids. Not so much when my daughter became older but, you know what? She and I made popcorn the other night, put out the lights and rented a movie together. It was her idea... and it all stems from mommy's bed and "apecial" time. By the way, shes now 17!!
Good luck and hang in there...
06-27-2008, 12:51 AM
Wonderful suggestion lauri! I wish I cold have special time in my bed- wish I could stay in bed. Hubby works from home and I"m busy attempting to keep the kids quiet enough for him to take conference calls a few times/day and for the baby to nap. It's hard. He works in our bedroom and the BR is right off our living room. We've set up a TV in the boy's room and when Daddy's on a phone call they go play in there or watch TV and when the baby's napping, we all watch movies or play games in the living room.
I know that at 3 she's not got much of an attention span, but how about puzzles and games? Something that's not too rambunctious. I know my kids have to have "noisy crazy time" or they get stir- crazy. We have a nice backyard and swingset plus a school across the street with playgrounds and large blacktop for riding bikes. 10 y/o will take the 4 and 5 y/o across the street in turns- she can only handle one at a time. Unfortunately the air quality has been so bad that none of us have gone outside to play all week. Hopefully the winds will shift and the smoke will blow out of the valley soon. The kids want out to play and I want them out to play :D
06-27-2008, 01:44 PM
Thanks Lauri, thats an excellent idea. Usually when she plays in my bed she goes back and forth from my room to hers to see what part of her movie is on. Never thought of just playing a movie she likes in my room. I am going to try that when she comes back from visiting with her aunt. So glad you replied never thought about how something so simple could make a big difference I feel better already. Thanks :D :D
06-27-2008, 01:51 PM
Thanks Jenny she loves puzzles she's really good at them but gets mad when she is missing a piece. I know she wants to play utside but we are not in the best of neighborhoods right now so I keep her in. I hope your kids get the chance to get out soon :)
06-27-2008, 01:56 PM
Is it at all an option to move closer to family so you could have some help? I wish I was close by. I could babysit occationally and help you when you're in need. Maybe a church with nice ladies? You need a grandma :-)
06-27-2008, 01:57 PM
Oh, you are sooo welcome. I discovered this in my own selfishness, actually, and missed the squishy hugs from my kids, I almost MADE them get in bed with me - lol!!! And, like I said, even when I am feeling OK and not in bed, they still want to cuddle with Mommy!!
My son and I now are hooked on the TV show, "Criminal Minds", (unless its a real scary one - then I turn it)... but we have fun trying to figure out who the bad guy is, etc...
I hope this becomes a nice routine for you and your daughter! Remember...their world is sooo small, that even the littlest thing to you is such a BIG thing to them. If you watch "Cinderella" for example, you could let her watch her movie with her "princess dress on", etc. And always remember - children are very resilient. I mean, do you REALLY remember being 3 years old? Of course not, but just growing up feeling loved and secure is enough for any child to be just fine. Sure - going to Disney is great - but children really dont need all the bells and whistles to grow up feeling warm and happy and safe - they just need you!
Sending warm thoughts and prayers your way - hope you feel better soon...
07-02-2008, 01:32 PM
I am 32 with four very busy boys. They too love to run , jump, etc. When I have flare ups, even though it can be painful to have the bed move, .... I invite them up inthe bed. We watch movies, read books, and sometimes just sit and laugh. It tends to work better than trying to keep up with them . I can't. It makes me so much worse. I understand your pain.
07-02-2008, 06:50 PM
Jaideni, I suffer from ur talking about sometimes. I work as a teacher, and take my daughter home with me to the nursery of the school, so I miss being with her till 2 pm, once back home I am so tired that I sometimes get angry and shout at her! :( She has tons of toys, but wants my attention and asks to play together, so lately I found out that she likes to be given errands! While resting on the sofa in the livingroom, I play her favourite animal songs DVD, put around me some toys and as her for example to make me tea(with her kitchen set) so shes busy for a while, chnage her baby's diaper, feed me fruits(she got plastic ones in her toys) and so on. U can never run of ideas of asking for things from kids that age. Also got her an easel board lately and she spends sometime arranging magnetic stuff on the white board, or ask her to draw things of the chalk board, ofcourse my daughter is too small, 2 years, to draw something, but she enjoys scratching on it!