PDA

View Full Version : Boyfriend's Comments



DrinkofWtr
04-14-2008, 07:15 AM
This morning my boyfriend said to me, "you are always sick". I just got over a sinus infection, two cases of bronchitis, and pneumonia. I said you knew I had lupus when you got involved with me. He said, "I didn't fully understand what I was getting into". Now I am wondering whether he will stick it out with me through the long run. I really don't know what else to say to him. Is saying nothing more about it the approach I should take? I don't know.

BeBe
04-14-2008, 07:59 AM
Don't you hate that? "You're ALWAYS ill". It gets old doesn't it. How long have you been together? I've felt the same way and it isn't easy to gauge how people will react to the strain that lupus puts on your day to day life.

I think you should talk to him about it, that way he'll know how you feel. Because he can't know how YOU feel with lupus, it must be hard for him to understand. I think "I didn't fully understand what I was getting into" is a fairly insensitive thing to say, if that is how he worded it.

sits_inthe_corner
04-14-2008, 08:48 AM
Hugs DrinkofWtr

Hurtful, isn't it?

You'll have to follow your heart on this one. I would be tempted to tell him how much his comment hurt you and put you in doubt of your relationship. But that's a tough call.

Hugs let us know how you're doing :)

cheryl_v
04-14-2008, 08:57 AM
Saying nothing will only make more of a strain for you. Bebe's right, you should have a little talk with him. Tell how you feel, have him tell how he feels and see how the two of you would like to handle the situations as they come. I kept things to myself and now its harder for me to voice how I feel when situations come up of being ill or yet another doc visit, etc, etc... Stand for yourself, maybe he'll be more understanding with the facts and knowing that there are good days as well as bad. Let us know how it turns out, and I hope it goes well :D .