View Full Version : Stress and Strain

04-12-2008, 11:49 AM
As you all know, stress isn't good for Lupus. Currently, I am under a lot of it. Yesterday, I had to transport my father from the hospital to a nursing home. It broke my heart to see him cry when I had to leave at the end of the day. He had been in the hospital six times this year. I thought we might lose him. Also, I found out yesterday my mom in considered legally blind. That was also a big blow! The caregiver role is a new one for me, along with all the other hats I wear, plus the Lupus. I would love to hear from others how they handle stress. I know I am not alone.

The good news is that today is my one and only daughter's bridal shower. She is getting married in May. I am so thankful to be in this support group. I don't have a lot of friends. I am so busy with my illness and everything else going on around me. I am fortunate to still be able to work P/T. Thanks for listening.

04-13-2008, 09:44 AM
Hi, DrinkofWtr. You're going through a lot! I'm sorry you have to travel this difficult path - watching your parents decline is so hard. I've been there - that sandwich generation, I think they call us. Still involved with our children (even if they are grown) and taking care of parents. My mom was in a nursing home at the time I was diagnosed, and passed away last year. You are to be commended for taking on the role of caretaker for your folks. Not every child is willing to do that, you know. But remember to care for yourself, too. You're so right - extra stress will takes it's toll on you. Do you have any caregiver support groups in your area? Can you get involved in a family group at the nursing home? Just like this support group, talking to others who are going through the same thing can be so helpful and can lift some of the burden. How about siblings...anyone else who can help to share the duties?

A wedding is so exciting! Enjoy this time - it's so precious. And it's so comforting to see that life goes on with your children, just when life is slowing down for your parents. Make sure you don't overdo - it's easy to get so involved in the planning and festivities of a wedding that you wear yourself out! (Been there, too!)

I hope you can find a balance, DrinkofWtr. Glad you found this forum and hope it continues to be support for you.

04-13-2008, 12:34 PM
The Fearless Caregiver: How to Get the Best Care for Your Loved One and Still Have a Life of Your Own (Capital Cares) (Paperback)
by Gary Barg (Author) "Angels come in many forms, and each one serves the Lord..."


I don't know if the link will work, but the citation from Amazon is above. My EAP counselor recommended this to me, for both me and my sister. I've found it wonderful - written in a way that is easy to read, short little pieces. It touched my heart and helped me in my relationship with my sister, and with my mother (who has Parkinson's).

Being a caregiver to those who cared for you is so hard, so emotionally wrenching. It is a role reversal.

May you and your parents come to a good place at this time, understanding the changes you are all facing and may you become closer as well.

Many hugs dear,

05-14-2008, 08:37 PM
Hi DrinkofWtr,

I don't have very much advice to offer you, but I just wanted to give you a cyber *hug* Things always work out for the best, just keep hope and faith.

05-15-2008, 09:26 AM
Drink of Water;
We are now in May. When is the wedding or when was the wedding? How are you? How is your father? And your mother?
I hope that you are doing well and that some of your stress has been alleviated. Please tell us all about the wedding.

Peace and Blessings

05-17-2008, 12:29 PM
I'm also wondering how things are going. You've taken on so much stress, I hope you're finding someone to talk with, some one to share the burden.

Many hugs, dear, and do pop in to update us when you can.