View Full Version : They say that breaking up is hard to do.....

04-06-2008, 08:20 AM

K, in May I'll have my last appointment with my "not so interested" rhuemy. My family doctor told me to keep the appointment cause it could take awhile before I get to see the new rhuemy. Fine.

But it's going to be odd. I mean I'm going to have to say yah....ummm I'm here for my appointment...ummm listen, here's the thing....ummm I'm breaking up with you.

That's right, it's over. You're just not meeting my needs. We've grown apart. It's me not you...I mean it's you, not me. Any way I'm sure you'll meet a patient who fits your doctoring skills. But it's just not me.

So ummm may I have a copy of my records for ol time sake and ummm take care...dont be a stranger.


This is going to be very uncomfortable. I dont handle conflicts well.

04-06-2008, 08:33 AM

OK, so your doc may not be "evil," but sometimes, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do....and finding a new rheumy may be the ticket to better health for you. So, put your gloves on in case you have to duke it out. My guess it that it will go quite smoothly. Who cares if the doc doesn't like your decision? This is about you. You are important. Make sure you get a copy of all of your records before you leave. In fact, you might request these copies BEFORE the appointment, just in case the meeting doesn't go well. I went to three rheumies before I found my current one. She is fantastic and I am sooooo glad I kept searching. She took a year to diagnose me...but, SHE TOOK ME SERIOUSLY. She listened. Filtered through the information I provided. Understood my frustration. Set me on the path to healthier days. It was worth it to have changed docs. As she told me on my first visit..."YOU have to take charge of your health. Don't sit back and wait for a doctor to do it for you." At first, I was a little put off by her attitude. Then, I realized she had done me the biggest favor. She turned me from a victim of this disease into a fighter.

You go girl..... :lol:


04-06-2008, 09:22 AM

You're a genious! I'll call next week and ask for a copy of my file and then go and pick it up. If they ask why I want it I'll just say for my own records, I'm trying to get everthing straight and I have a hard time remembering. (which I do...and they are my records and I want a copy...I'll pay a fee if there is one) Then when my appointment comes I can just say thanks for the giggles but I'm MOVING on :lol:

Or when she goes to book another appointment I'll just say ummm not so fast....I dont think I can fit in two rhuemys and we took a vote...and ummm you're out. :)

I'll work it out. In the mean time you all will have to put with be practicing my dumping lines.

Sorry ... no I have a headach

04-06-2008, 11:18 AM
We do not mind if you practice your "dumping" lines here. As you've already seen, you will probably get a lot of good ideas on ways to dump, what to expect when dumping and how to get the most out of your dumping! :lol:
As Pearl said, this is about you and your health...So, perhaps that might mean that you become the dumping expert! Then, you will be able to give good advice to the next person who needs to dump an uncaring doctor!
Best of luck on your search for a rheumy who fits you!

Peace and Blessings

04-06-2008, 01:44 PM

Thanks saysusie,

I've always had to practice standing up for myself. I dont want to come on like a bag of hammers but I dont want to be too soft spoken either. I'm also a HUGE coward. I dont deal with confrontation well.

I suppose I could turn the tables if she askes me why I'm moving to another rhuemy and just stare at her :lol:

I'll work it out.

Humming, just slip out the back jack...make a new plan stan...no need to be coey roy...there must be 50 ways to leave your rhuemy.

Pretti in Pink
04-06-2008, 03:59 PM

You are so funny, but on point with what you have to do. Pearl and Saysusie were right it's about YOU, hey what if the doc is looking at you as just another notch in their belt or better yet button hole on their jacket :x Do what you have to do for you and the Doc will move on just fine, if not he/she will get over it- time heals!

04-06-2008, 07:17 PM
SITC - you are my hero! I'm a veeerrryy wimpy person sometimes....not good with confrontation. I got lucky and hit a good rheumatologist right away (thank GOD for my very good primary doc - he referred me.) If she had been a loser, I'm not sure how long it would've taken me to tell her to take a hike. Not my strong suit......can you say 'chicken?'

I hope the next one is a 'keeper' for you. If not, the third time is always the charm, right? :lol:


sick n tired
04-06-2008, 11:53 PM
Oh Sitc,

I think that it would be great if you could turn the tables on her. I like your idea to stare at her as the obviously seems to do. I;ll bet that she would not get the point, though.

I hope that you are able to get in soon with a new one.


04-07-2008, 05:51 AM
all you kids are so hilarious
its kinda comforting, because im sure theres still pain behind the smiles and laughs. but its comforting knowing its still possible to be and feel human, even if its once in a while.

04-07-2008, 07:19 AM
The stink eye.. :shock: is what I call it. Makes you wonder if their brain got stuck...

Standing up for myself was a learned skill. Takes practice without getting all tight throat, choking on your own words while your eyes swell with tears.

I remember that happening, choking unable to utter a word while defending my work during an inspection. I said, now look what you done, you made me cry. After that I became the Rear Admiral's soft spot.

I was readin somewhere, not to cut your ties with a doctor so abruptly. For the love of me I can't remember why.

Or do like I did, just call a week ahead of time for the copy and request that you pick it up at the receptionists desk. Don't wait till May to ask for a copy..call them right now and have them ready for pick up Friday.

Those results are yours...


04-07-2008, 05:34 PM
Haha, I love some of the responses here, I could have used them a few months ago! I, too, love the idea of just staring at her, haha! I hope the new rheumy will be a good one!