View Full Version : I am discouaged and need some encouragement

08-26-2007, 11:28 AM
:( I am having a crappy day today. First of all, my legs are in so much pain. The dr's can't figure out why I am having problems walking. My pcp seems to believe it's the Lupus and My Rheumy seems to believe it has nothing to do with the Lupus. My legs are so stiff to the point of not being able to hardly move them. I have been in physical therapy and have been since January, 2007. The pain is so great and I am getting pretty aggrivating. Another thing is I do not know where I fit socially with all this going on. I have lost a lot of friends since my diability. I have been divorced for 2 years and was diagnosed with Lupus a year ago. Wow, this is hard. I long to have companionship with the opposite sex but not an intimate relationship. I miss the male figure. My entire life has changed. I put 21 years into my marriage and I feel cheated. I need some support right now because it's extremely difficult. I have a lot on my mind right now. I also would like not only to have friends with the opposite sex but just in general good social friends in general. Well, I guess I will go now.

08-26-2007, 09:21 PM
I don't have any words of wisdom, but I wanted you to know that you are not alone. You can always vent here and get support. That's what we're here for!

I just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you and hoping your skies get sunnier soon.

08-27-2007, 07:15 AM
Hello dear, crappy days must be contagous today. I'm having one too. If you need to talk, I'll listen. You found one of the best support places here. I've tried others, but the support here is real and full of compassion. I have no support from home, so I feel your frustration. Hope your day gets better, write me if you'd like: cherylvanderhoff@msn.com

Or just keep writing here, theirs so many here to help. Sending you hugs and prayers your way.............. got them? Good.Thinking of you and all others. :fadein:

08-29-2007, 11:59 AM
Sisterloudjoy -

I'm so sorry to hear you were having such a crappy day on Sunday. I've shared many of those days here and it does help. I know what you mean about being cheated. My mother is only (relatively) recently divorced after a fifteen year marriage and she feels much the same way. She isn't looking for another husband or even a boyfriend, but she would like someone to go to the movies or out to dinner with. It is so hard to find COMPANIONSHIP.

I'm sorry you have lost friends because of your disability too. That is something I can totally relate to and it is one of the most difficult aspects of this illness. It is such a struggle to even figure out who you are when you find out. That sounds crazy, but it does affect your self concept (it did mine). I still haven't figured out where I fit socially, but like you, my diagnosis is recent.

I do hope you are feeling up today. Let us know if you need any support!

08-29-2007, 02:10 PM
Hi Sister Joy,

I found you because I follow the Librarian around.

So, do tell what became of your crappy Sunday? A Crappy Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday too? Say it isn't so.

Sister sometimes to change things we have to step out of our norm despite what Lupus has confined us to. Sometimes we have to be outwardly even though we may feel awkard. Awkward can only bring about a comfort.

Are you open to local community art classes, quilting at the local church, yoga at the community center, pool or darts at the nearest pub. Photography classes at the community college...one day week for an hour or two. You have to tap into your resources, find your hidden talents and use the skills you already have.

It can feed the need for socializing, opens the door for companionship of both sexes. I can imagine being marrried for 21 years and starting over it may seem. We think we forgot how to mingle, but it will come.

I don't know the things you are into, books, self help guides, religion or just being crazy, flirtatious, reserve or used to skydive..all which is good by the way.

Give us a bit of insight on you...and surely one of us can toss out an idea or two to steer you in the right direction because sure, a few words on a screen can lift us for the day, but we need real time sight, smell, touch, hear and a forum doesn't fill that intimacy that all of us need. In the word intimacy.., engaging one on one conversation with men and woman and also the touch of the opposite sex.

Sometimes when we met new people...we have to leave the Lupus conversations at home. And if Lupus is stabbing us, numbing us, thumping us maybe we should stay home until we can manage it, so we can enjoy the company of another while out and about.

About your legs...how are they today....find a doctor that can diagnose you. Have you tried any alternative therapy?

Don't leave us hanging...how are things?

Find wellness and I will ask that it finds you,

09-28-2007, 04:55 PM
Sister Joy,

Just checking to see how goes life...Hope you are enjoying life, with friends, males ones too and have found support since you last post.

Thinking of you.