View Full Version : Hi, New here. I think I am lazy?
I been sick as long a I can remember but was diagnosed in 2003. I'm 46. It's nice to finally know what I have. I no longer work other than homemaking. I have Bi-polar 1 disoder also. My problem is that there are so many times that I have to be inactive because of Lupus that I get confused and depressed about it. I think I'm lazy and have a hard time catching up with all of my housework when I'm not in a flare. My stamina is low because of the inactivity also. I get depressed when I'm sick and let my husband down when I can't do stuff with him on his time off. Does anyone else have to fight that voice in your head that says your just being lazy; toughen up? :shock: Help me to accept my limitations but also not be undermotivated.
05-15-2007, 09:10 AM
im lazy and i dont look sick either!!!, anyway thats the way i feel sometimes, yet when i try to get the energy up to do something its all about rapid burnout, i try and do stuff around the house, indoors to take some of the load off of my wife but that doesnt always work and usually ends up with something unfinished, and to go out into the sun pretty much finishes me off, to answer your question yes the voices are there and i dont like what they have to say, to stress over something like this(which i do alot) leads into anger or deprression of some sort and leads into flares, which i think im in a revolving door of flares sometimes,
check out the thread minions of the devil (in lauries lounge) it may take your mind off of it for a while, specially the funny cat movies
you are not alone out there, i have found alot of knowledgeable people here in this forum who love to help
i know dealing with lupus, my emotions are off the chart sometimes,both top and bottom
i hope this helps and welcome
05-15-2007, 11:49 AM
Oh, boy, can I relate!!!
I could have written that post. I feel lazy ALL the time. It's awful. I get depressed because I see myself as lazy. Then I have no motivation because I'm depressed. :)
I don't "look" sick, either--well, my family can tell when I'm flaring up, or just not feeling well (my husband last night asked if I had a headache... I did, but I hadn't said anything... when I asked him how he knew, he said "your hands are clasped in front of your chest. You do that when you have a headache." I was floored.
One thing my husband keeps telling me is that I need to just accept my limitations and not worry about things. That is so much easier to say than it is to do. But I am trying. I suggest that you try, too.
Make a list of things you find important to do today. (yesterday I needed to go through two large stacks of papers--and I did do it! yay!) Don't put down all of the chores and then expect to finish them all... but put down a couple of things, like sweep the floor (oh, that reminds me... I need to do that today) or sort the laundry (not "DO" the laundry--just sort it... Little by little, you'll get through it.
I am sorry you're feeling this way. I wish there was a magical cure--if someone finds it, please share.
Hang in there :)
05-16-2007, 03:40 AM
I know exactly how you feel. Its very frustrating at times to feel so limited. What I do is I write a generalized list of what I need to do everyday, and then I figure out what is absolutely essential and start with those things. I never complete my list, but as long as I've done my best I'm okay. Its hard because like most lupus sufferers I don't look sick! So everyone expects me to be able to do anything and everything. Sometimes I just have to be frank with my family and friends about my limitations and tell them that I can only do so much. As long as I am doing my best I don't feel lazy because I know I've worked hard to do whatever it is I've done, but I do get frustrated with how challenging what used to be simple tasks have become. Good lucK!
05-16-2007, 08:16 PM
I'll bet there's no one with lupus who doesn't feel like that. I wanted to wash my windows (they never got washed at all last year!) so I made a list of each window, inside and outside. I'm just checking them off as I get to them. Sometimes it's just a couple of inside windows; sometimes a couple of outside. I can't climb ladders anymore (neuropathy) so my husband does those up high. We'll get through them eventually. I feel like such a 'slug' though...particularly when my granddaughter leaves my house and the bottom of her little socks are dirty because my floors haven't been washed in a while. (Not that anyone cares but me....) I'm still learning how to let that stuff go...just drives me nuts.
05-16-2007, 09:03 PM
Welcome to the Forum! :D I'm really glad that you found us! :D
Please just know that anytime you need advice, support, information or just to vent or chat, we're all here for you!
Yep, I feel lazy too, sometimes and I keep telling myself: "It's not like you have A.I.D.S. or Cancer or M.S.A. or M.S., so GET UP!" But I can't! I suffer from severe exhaustion all the time and can't even make it to school sometimes (I am sixteen years old), which is EXTREMELY unusual for me! :cry:
Keep well and feel better! :)
Pretti in Pink
05-17-2007, 09:30 AM
Been there. Currently there. Will be there again.