View Full Version : Feeling Discouraged....
05-10-2007, 09:31 PM
Hey Guys! I'm feeling a little down here lately after an unsettling 2 year struggle. I've posted on here a few times about my trials and tribulations and I want to thank everyone for there help and support! Will I ever have a normal life? After thinking I had the stomach flu for a week I ended up in the hospital...turns out it wasn't a stomach flu instead apparently my lupus attacked my gallbladder (this is what the pathology showed) and it stopped working. So, then I had to have surgery to have it removed. I know that gallbladder problems happen to a lot of people without lupus but my main problem is why couldn't it have just been the stomach flu? I'm so tired of this fight and I feel that I'm not going to win it sometimes. :cry: To top it off I just got back from a trip with a friend and I spent the whole time having to stop and rest. I know she didn't want to say it but I think it annoyed her that I was having to stop a lot. She's family so she knows all about my lupus and has been very supportive and I don't want to portray her as anything else. But that being said I wanted so desperately to have her energy and stamina. Living with Lupus, my genetic condition and being in low-grade DIC is wearing me down fast. Does it ever get better or at least a tiny bit easier?
Praying for strength for all of us,
05-11-2007, 10:35 AM
I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time right now - wish I could reach out and give you a big hug. I 'm afraid the combination of the lupus and your other medicals conditions is part of what is making it so hard for you right now. Has your hematologist suggested any treatment for the DIC? Sending you good thoughts and wishes that you start to feel better soon.
05-11-2007, 12:21 PM
I'm SO sorry that you are going through such a hard time and that you are feeling so discouraged, but please know that I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers!
Sending you an enormous cyber hug!
Keep well! :)
05-11-2007, 07:10 PM
Hugs to you! Wishing you a better day tomorrow.......
05-13-2007, 04:40 AM
My best to you, Brandie128. This disease is such a carnival ride - and I don't mean the thrills! Just the ups and downs. Combine that with other illnesses, and it can become hard to manage. For most, there are times that we feel much better - darn near normal. Those are the times we need to remember when we're in the midst of a flare or other ailments have us down. I've had to create a new mind-set about how I use those times. I 'spend' them like a kid in a candy store sometimes - cramming everything I can into that day or those hours. Sometimes I let myself just savor those days - enjoying the feeling of normalcy; no pressure to perform anything other than basking in that feeling. When the pendulum swings the other way and I feel like a truck ran over me, then I rely on my family and friends to help me over the hump. I try (try really hard!) to remember that it won't be forever - experience has told me it will pass and I'll feel good again. Doesn't stop me from becoming frustrated, and sometimes even depressed, but I examine it and talk to myself a lot ("Hey, you, don't let this get you down...you know you're gonna' feel better in a while...so do what you need to do and have faith!") Yeah, it's not exactly medical science, but sometimes it works!
We're hear for you - vent to us, look for advice, prayers, friendship. Everyone here will really understand what you're saying - better than anyone can! Hang in there.
Warm thoughts to you...
05-13-2007, 08:32 AM
Hi Brandie :lol:
I can feel your frustration and sadness through your words and I wish that I could hug you to let you know that you are not alone and that we truly understand how this illness can make you feel so unhappy and depressed.
I recently took a weekend trip with my best friends, we stopped at a street faire and they were all having a wonderful time. However, I had to find shade and I had to find a place to sit and I had to find water and finally I had to just give up and let them go on by themselves. Like you, I started feeling that they were becoming a bit annoyed with me and my limitations. When I mentioned this feeling to them, they promptly put a quash on that and let me know, in no uncertain terms, that they'd rather end the day - stop 100 times and go in search of shade for me, rather than to have me get sick, have a flare and possibly end up in the hospital. They said that my limitations were short-lived compared to the many consequences of a serious flare!
I say all of that to say that, sometimes our friends are not having the reaction to our limitations that we think they are having. It is usually our feelings of guilt more than their feelings of annoyance. It sounds as if you are loved and that is a wonderful thing, especially with our disease.
I do hope that you begin to feel better soon and please know that we are here for you whenever you need us. You are never alone here and you are always understood!!
Peace and Blessings
05-14-2007, 10:51 AM
Boy, can I relate to your post. I too have a hard time keeping up anymore (and I used to be the one leading the way). It is so hard to just "accept" the limitations now. I fight it every step of the way, and at times, feel like you do right now. There isn't much I can do to help--except to say that you are lucky to have a friend that is patient and kind; you are lucky that you can still do the things you are doing... Don't put too much pressure on yourself (yeah, right, huh...) and try to see the goodness in the things you can do.
I wish I could help...