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beautifulbeluga
04-12-2007, 10:35 AM
Hi All: I have been keeping up with reading all the posts but haven't posted myself in quite a while. Life has been hectic around here to say the least with lots of changes.

One of the biggest changes in my life has been the accommodation of family members into my home on a permanent basis. For those who remember, my adult son came home after his relationship broke up and set up residence in our family room. Well he is still here. Secondly, my grandson just 18 moved in after his living situation failed miserably with both parents and he took up the spare bedroom and is still trying to finish his grade 12. Less than one month ago my 14 year old granddaughter moved in also after adolescent/parent conflict situation which appears unresolvable. There went my gym room. We don't have a spare inch of space in this house left so if anyone out there is in need of a place to stay WE ARE ALL BOOKED UP !!!!

In addition: I am having my second knee replacement surgery in six months. Next Thursday is fast approaching and I would be amiss to say I am looking forward to to the experience. The first one was painful and a difficult recovery and it continues to give me problems and pain. For sure now I understand the impact that having an auto-immune disease plays on recovery of any surgical intervention. We just don't heal as quickly and the impact of wide spread inflammation certainly has played a huge role in interfering with healing, pain and recovery. I did finally get some relief from my methotrexate injections but have had to go off them now for 3 weeks awaiting my second surgery. What a difference that has made in my level of joint pain. You don't really realize how much these medications help us until you have to give them up.

My husband is in the final stages of finishing our new, renovated, expanded bathroom so I look forward to having a finished product by the time I return home from the hospital. He has done a beautiful job and all the inconvenience has been well worth it.

To everyone out there, a big hello with wishes for a wonderful spring and good health.

The beautifulbeluga..............who will be missing her water again for at least a while.

browneyedgirl53
04-12-2007, 02:27 PM
Hey Beauty,

Well, you can always look at the bright side of your full house - LOOK AT ALL THE HELPING HANDS YOU'LL HAVE WHEN YOU GET HOME (smile). Your blessings will come ten-fold for the kindness that you have shown your family. Thank you for showing us that LOVE matters most. !!

My thoughts and prayers will be with you for a full recovery and a successful surgery (oops said it backwards...oh well). Hugs and lots of love to you. Thanks for keeping us posted. Miss you and love you lots.

Much love,
Browneyedgirl

MARYCAIN
04-12-2007, 03:30 PM
I hope the surgery goes well and you have a faster recovery than with the previous one. And think how wonderful it will be when both are done and you are finally able to go back to the water - hopefully without pain.

beautifulbeluga
04-12-2007, 03:40 PM
Thanks Browneyedgirl: for your kind words, prayers and good wishes. I'm not sure about all the helping hands though. Teenagers aren't known for being all that helpful, God knows I love them dearly but there is a reason parents rejoice when their children grow up and leave home. I always thought my purpose in life might be to be "rich and famous", but God in his wisdom obviously has a different plan and it seems to be raising a never ending supply of children without the added benefit of lottery winnings.

How are you these days? I noticed you don't post very often as I always look forward to seeing what is up with my favourite "girl" from Seattle. I hope you have been reasonably well over the winter months and now with summer not far off you will have to bring out that "backyard pool" of yours.

Thinking of you often.................your friend beautifulbeluga

Pretti in Pink
04-12-2007, 03:57 PM
good luck to you! they say once you have children you are never finish raising them, now that includes grands too- gotta love em!!!!!!!!!! :)

beautifulbeluga
04-12-2007, 05:02 PM
Thanks Marycain for you well wishes, it was really nice to hear from you. I too hope this surgery is a little easier than the last. The OS assures me it won't because this knee is as damaged as the first but I continue to hope he is wrong. The one thing that is different is that at least this time I know what I am in for and what I can and can't do to help myself feel better. I think last time I was way too anxious to get off the narcotic pain medication and this time I think if I need it I won't be in such a rush. Also, first time around I think I probably overdid it returning to my water aerobics way sooner than I should have which ended up causing me more problems. I think I have learned my lesson and will use a bit more common sense this time around.

I guess you are already into the hot weather where you live and the animals are busy giving birth. How are you feeling these days? I see you post often and you are always such a support and inspiration Marycain to all those who visit this forum. I am not sure you know how appreciated you are by all of us. You really are a gift from God to all of us here. I truly wish you the very best in your life, your deserve it. It warms my heart to know there are people out there like yourself, so kind in spirit, knowledgeable and giving. ...................... Take care.

mnjodette
04-12-2007, 07:34 PM
I'll keep you in my prayers....successful surgery and recovery! You are such a kind soul to take in these children. My grandmother (long since passed on but well remembered) was always a refuge for family. She had a succession of kids in her home for many, many years. Children, grandchildren, even great-grandchildren. I was among them! She never turned anyone away, even when she was living in a little one bedroom house. And when she died, the funeral home (a very large one with several chapels) had to open them all up to hold the people who came - and there were still people lined up outside! We had no idea how many lives she had touched. You're making a difference in these young lives...never doubt it! (That doesn't make it any easier to tolerate a house full of teenagers, I'm sure! :roll: ) Anyway, good thoughts coming your way as you go through your knee replacement. May God give the doctors extra special skill that day! Bless you, Beautifulbeluga!

Jody

IloveHistory
04-12-2007, 11:04 PM
Hi BeautifulBeluga!

Good luck with your surgery and please know that you are in my prayers!

Keep well! :)

beautifulbeluga
04-13-2007, 11:27 AM
Thanks again to all my well wishers and those sending up prayers on my behalf. I know God listens and I really need him in my corner. Today I went to the hospital to get my final blood work done for the match in case I need a transfusion, saw physio and met with the pre-op nurse. Everything is now done except my meeting with the anesthesiologist on Tuesday. I have been off my methotextrate now 3 weeks and my anti-inflammatories as of yesterday and boy am I ever a wreck and in major pain. I called my rheumatologists office today to see if I could get some prednisone to help with my joints and other symptoms but was told "no" because it is too close to surgery and would interfere with the bone healing. Seven days is now beginning to feel like a long way off.

Kokopelli
04-13-2007, 01:42 PM
Pain is no fun at all!. What about novacane(sp?) patches for some of the more painful places? It's not a narcotic, it's not an anti inflamatory...and seems to be working very well with my mom's neuromas on her feet (and is safe for her with kidney failure). Thought I would share incase it can help you get through the next few days.

I think it's great that you opened your home to your family, but I can also understand how it feels to be soooo...*ahem*...snug! But on the upside, it's all temporary. Eventually they will all get back on their feet and want spread their wings to try to fly again....and it says volumes about you that they would want to be with you!

You sound like a gem and I wish you the very best with your upcoming surgery.

Missy
04-14-2007, 09:09 AM
Hi beautiful beluga -

I'm wishing you the very best in surgery and recovery. It must be hard to have to be in so much pain right before surgery! Not sure if you're into it, but acupuncture has helped me with pain, and so could be one way to try to get a little relief in the meantime.

You are such a giving soul to those in your family to take them in. I know it must be hard, hard work. I admire your generosity, especially in the face of your own health issues.

Have I ever told you that last summer I went to the Vancouver, BC aquarium? They have beautiful belugas there. I had never seen one before and it was the most fun!

beautifulbeluga
04-15-2007, 09:40 AM
To All; Thank you for all the words of encouragement and prayers being sent my way, I really appreciate them. Life appears to be a never ending struggle for me these days both physically and emotionally. I do not know what it is about having knee replacement surgeries but it seems like every time I get close to having one I end up in the midst of some kind of "family drama". For those of you who were around and remember 6 months ago it was my lost dog Kira, and my run away grandson.

This time it is my live with me "unmotivated, driving me nuts grandson", and my 14 year old "run away granddaughter". Yes, since I last posted my granddaughter has not come home now to my house. She is spending her time with one boy after the other and apparently has not being going to school, once an "A" student in grade 9. My daughter continues not to talk to me, but did communicate long enough to get the information to file a "missing persons report" for her missing 14 year old daughter.

I am heart broken, worried, anxious, frustrated and every joint and connective tissue in my body is screaming at me today. I am almost looking forward to the pain of surgery on Thursday so I can refocus my energy.........Prayers needed and welcomed...................beautifulbeluga

MARYCAIN
04-15-2007, 10:37 AM
I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this - prayers going out right now for her and for you, for the strength to deal with this situation. Mine aren't teenagers yet (thank goodness) but I've seen enough of my teenage nieces and nephews to know what a trial they can be at this age. I hope she is just mad at her mom and staying with one of her friends until she gets over it. But I know you are keeping her in a "safety net" of prayer, and I believe those prayers will be answered.

I know there isn't much the doctors can give you before the surgery because it might interfere with the anesthesia. But if there is anyone who does accupuncture, it might help. And will your doctors let you take tylenol? It won't do anything for the inflammation but might at least take the edge of the pain.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers - please keep us posted on your granddaughter.

beautifulbeluga
04-15-2007, 01:13 PM
Hi back Marycain: Thanks for you prayers and kind words. Yes I have been taking Tylenol and also the occasional Percocet that I still have left over from my last surgery. I also have Tramacet (supposed to be non-narcotic) but that doesnt do much at all. They told me at the hospital to just take the percocet as needed and not worry about it but I hate to jump into taking narcotics before my surgery because I now I will have lots after.

I know you have had lots of surgeries, do you remember having a hard time with pain like this after going off your meds? It is kind of scary and makes me think about what I would do if I couldn't take some of these medications any longer especially the immune-suppressants. Does that mean that those with Lupus just have to suffer? I am not particularly focusing on that but it has crossed my mind.

My grand-daughter is at her new boyfriends as of last night, that I know and the police have been called to pick her up. Where she goes from there is unknown, but what I do know is that she can not return here. All our good intentions, support, encouragement etc. was not enough to keep her from repeating the same mistakes she did at her parents. What I do know is the ball is in her court and I have got to step back and let happen what ever is going to and quit worrying about it and trying to change it. Really it is out of my control. It's a frightening world out there and scary to think about all the possibilities for adolescents who decide to rebel. We also did in our days but there wasn't guns, gangs and drugs at evey corner and those who prey on the vulnerable standing and waiting to call forth to the flock the vulnerable and headstrong teenagers. It is a different world and so many kids from good families lose their way these days with the most devastating of results. I don't envy you parenting in this day and age.............................

MARYCAIN
04-15-2007, 02:29 PM
When I had my last couple of surgeries, I'd been on prednisone so long it wasn't practical or safe to stop right before the surgery, so I at least had that in my system. When I went off the other immune suppressants and the blood thinners before the surgery, the joint pain wasn't so bad, but I felt like I had the fllu - achy, feverish, bad headache. The prednisone probably prevented the joint pain like you are having, but it did make it harder for the surgical wound to heal. And my skin was so fragile from the prednisone, the docs had a hard time bandaging the incision site, because it pulled the incision open every time they changed the dressings. And I had to start back on blood thinners right away, so the incisions oozed blood constantly, and between the prednisone and the coumadin and lovenox, I was one big bruise!

I'm sorry about the situation with your grandaughter, but you're right, sometimes there is nothing you can do to help except pray. All the love in the world won't prevent someone from self-destructing if they are determined to do it. I just hope she manages to get her life together and find her way back to her family. It's scary anymore to see how many influences there are on teens that try to pull them away from their familes and their education. I guess I hoped living in a rural area protects us a little from the worst of it, but I know it doesn't anymore. We've talked a lot with the boys about drinking, smoking, drugs, etc. - but we got a shock a couple of weeks ago when we found out a boy in the twins' class (a mixed fifth/sixth grade) was peddling Ritalin on the schoolgrounds. That's one we didn't anticipate. And the drug slang now is so innocuous, I'm afraid a lot of parents may not have a clue what the kids are actually talking about. I guess as parents - and grandparents - we just have to hope a little of what we taught them as children somehow managed to sink in.

Pretti in Pink
04-15-2007, 05:45 PM
Marycain,

You're right about not knowing what's going on and hoping what you have instilled will surface. My son just started high school this year and I was so nervous because this seems to be when they make it or break it. But i changed my focus, we pray together in the morning and then I just ask JESUS to be a fence around him and the other kids. What's also important in this day and time is that we pray for the teachers, administrators, etc. that our children may come in contact with as well. You know all of the once inconceivable things happening as schools these days but you can't live in fear.

IloveHistory
04-15-2007, 11:19 PM
Hi BeautifulBeluga!

I am SO sorry to hear about your granddaughter. Please know that I will be praying for her and for you in this difficult time.

Keep well and God bless you!

mnjodette
04-16-2007, 12:25 AM
Beautifulbeluga, I'm sorry to hear about your granddaughter. The world seems full of dangerous mine fields for these kids...toxic to them and their future. So much risk. I think there were some of the same risks when my kids were growing up (they are in their mid-30s now) but I don't think it started quite so young. I just read in the newspaper here that drug dealers are cutting methamphetimine with strawberry and chocolate flavored Nestle Quick to make it attractive to grade school children. Get 'em addicted young so you can guarantee your cash flow. What kind of a sick mind dreams up that stuff? I pray that your granddaughter finds her way back. Sometimes it takes just one person...just the right person...to help someone wake up. Let's hope that 'right person' is placed in your granddaughter's path soon, before any long term damage is done. You take care of yourself, now, Beautifulbeluga. You've done what you can, and you need to be good to yourself as you face your surgery. Prayer is the best help you can give your granddaughter. Take care.

Jody

beautifulbeluga
04-16-2007, 08:13 AM
Thanks so much Marycain for the answers to my question about your own experience with surgery. All the symptoms you describe are exactly what I am experiencing with the added pain, not just joint pain but I feel pain I swear in every joint and connective tissue in my body. It is hard to just move and by half way through the Day I am in so much pain I just have to get off my feet for a while. I didn't even think the MXT injections were helping me much because I was still in pain, but boy was I wrong, without them I am a wreck.

You know it is so common that parents think "not my child", "not in my neighborhood". Those thoughts couldn't be farther from the truth like you found out with you son's classmate selling an illegal substance in the school yard. My granddaughter is not in drugs, at least I don't think so but it will only be a matter of time I know. She has always been an A student in school and very reliable. She took on a lot of responsibility for her two younger siblings, too much perhaps which I think may have contributed to her not wanting to continue living with her mom and step dad. There were a few minor incidences with stealing when she was a bit younger but nothing one would say is out of the ordinary.

Then grade 9 and she began lying more and more and then skipping school ending up usually at home with a boy when parents were at work. I thought she would straighten out when she came to live with me because Gregory and I are always around and there was not all that responsibility put on her for her sibs. I was wrong obviously, she still has been skipping school apparently (my daughter is mad at me so wouldn't give permission for me to get the information directly from the school) and just getting more creative with her lying and sneaking around. It isn't even like we don't allow her freedom because we do but she just seems "hell bent" on screwing up her life, relationships and school.

Never, would I have thought a seemingly stable bright adolescent 14, and in grade 9 would go down hill so quickly. It isn't like she has come from a terrible home life or ever been abused. If it can happen to her it can happen to anyone. In my 20 plus years of working with families I have seen so many similar stories and it is truly tragic. It makes a person step back and wonder what ever is going on in young people's brains.

Thank you for your support Marycan and prayer and wish that Alia finds herself and her way back to her family that love her. Last night the police came to our door in the middle of the night looking for her and Gregory gave them the address that he thought she was at. They phoned later and said they had picked her up and she had refused to go home so they dropped her at a youth hostel for the night. I guess she has decided to go the way of Child Welfare System rather than go home. That in itself may be her biggest mistake but I realize we are all helpless to change it. My husband Gregory told police they couldn't bring her back her even if she did want to come with me going to the hospital and the stress of this all over the past months, we just can't handle it anymore.

MARYCAIN
04-16-2007, 09:32 AM
I'm just watching the news about the shootings at Virginia Tech. I wanted to post something uplifting for you, but it's hard to think of anything right now. Just know that you and your grandaughter are in my thoughts and prayers.

beautifulbeluga
04-16-2007, 10:34 AM
Thanks Marycain for having me in your thoughts and prayers. For today that is enough inspiration for me just knowing that there are wonderful people like yourself in this world. You are a gift to all of us...................

beautifulbeluga