View Full Version : Need a little encouragement
03-26-2007, 11:12 AM
Hi there everybody! I know I haven't posted in a while. The last month has been kind of long and difficult. I have been trying to work with the new IBS stuff and fighting with the DMV and dealing with my sadness about my hubby going away. So, yes I did get my driver's license back, finally, 10 days ago. Praise God! I was really starting to get worried.
I think I am getting the hang of an IBS diet and I have lost over 20 pounds since Valentine's day. (It's a good thing, I promise).
Unfortunately, my hubby leaves for a 6 month plus deployment to Iraq this week. I am sad for him being gone, and I am sad for where he is going and the danger he will be in, and I am sad for myself and my children who will miss him terribly, and I am scared that I won't be able to live up to my end of the deal this time around. He has been gone before but not since I "got sick". I have never been so tired and beat up in my life and I am terrified. I am also scared that his worry for me will affect his judgement and put him in more danger. Thankfully, his job will not put him in the direct line of fire every day, but he is still going to be in a danger zone.
I am sad for our country and the direction we are going in and for all of the other wives and families who are in the same situation as I am and worse, when their service member doesn't come home.
Anyway, this sucks!
03-26-2007, 01:34 PM
I am SO sorry that you are going through such a difficult time :cry:, but I am glad that you are gaining control over your I.B.S.
Please just know that you, your husband and your children are in my prayers...
03-26-2007, 03:31 PM
Peach, I'm sorry - I was really hoping he would get a waiver because of your health. Wish that had worked out, but I am glad you got your license back so you won't be stranded while he is gone. I know your situation must be tough with the kids - how is the military family support in your area? Are there some of the other military wives who can help you out once in a while?
Sending big cyber hugs your way - and keeping your and your family in my prayers.
03-26-2007, 06:47 PM
I'm sorry you are having a hard time. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Praying for strength for you and your kids so you can hold down the fort and most of all for his safety. I can't even imagine my hubby being sent to Iraq. Please relay the message to him that some of us (like me) REALLY, REALLY appreciate what he is doing for our country. He is a TRUE hero. God bless.
03-26-2007, 11:24 PM
Thank you for the kind words and wishes. I know he will be safe, because he has to be.
Marycain, we didn't try to hard for the hardship request because we were advised by several people that it would basically sink his career and he would not be eligible for the one promotion he may be able to make in the time he has left before retirement. We also had a couple of people that were higher ranked tell us that if we pushed too hard, he could be discharged for "inability to complete his mission" and we would lose his retirement and our medical benefits, basically because Lupus has no cure, and it would be a continuing issue, that he couldn't deploy and he is scheduled to do so three more times after this before he retires. So, we left it alone.
Apparently, from what we have heard, they will do a one time hardship request, or even a two time, if someone has cancer or something that is potentially curable or has an end date of sorts, but because my illness has no definable "end", they would look to process him out, rather than try to deal with him constantly making hardship requests for the four and a half years he has left.
So, I am in suck it up and deal mode, and not dealing so well. My stomach is in a knot, but it will get better a few days after he leaves and I get distracted with life and the kids an such.
03-26-2007, 11:27 PM
hi there peach, you, your kids, and especially your dear hubby are in my family's prayers. i send you all of the encouragement i have. i got a taste of how hard it is when neighbors of ours were sent off last month - both hubby and wife, and they have a 5 month old and a 4 year old!! i ache for them, and you my dear. we are here for you!
yet, i'm so glad that you're getting your ibs routine down!! :D i really hope that that will make somethings a bit easier for you while he's gone.
be well, and keep us posted :wink:
Pretti in Pink
03-27-2007, 05:41 PM
Here's praying for your health and strength along with your hubby's protection. It's amazing how GOD will pull you through situation's that you never thought were manageable and in the end you come out stronger than you ever thought you could be.
03-27-2007, 06:09 PM
Peach, add my prayers to the list, too. I don't have anyone close to me in harms way, so I can only imagine the anxiety and stress. God will be there watching out for our brave forces. I am glad you got your driver's license back. That has to be a relief. Rely on us if you need to 'vent' and have someone to talk to.
03-28-2007, 08:20 AM
Know this, that we ALL will keep you and your husband in our thoughts and prayers. I completely understand your fears, anxieties and worries - it's reasonable and I hope you will have the courage to reach out to others (as you have done here) for support, encouragement and yep, those hugs are even better when they're received by a warm and loving person close to you.
We're all in this with you Peach, when you're scared and not sure what to do; remember that God is always waiting to here your prayers. I promise you friend, you are not alone. We love you and encourage you to keep close to those whom you love, and reach out when you're too tired to stand on your own - we'll be there for you. In spirit, in love and encouragement.
Like you, Peach - it also makes me sad for you, as well as all the other families of soldiers. My father was a serviceman and growing up, we always knew that "Daddy" was going away....we never understood why. Being one who grew up in the 60's and 70's - it was such a tumultuous time in our country (as is now, perhaps even more so)....the Vietnam war was draining our country of it's finest men and women to a cause that now seems so easy to see was (civil war) and was not ours to fight.
I have such a deep and abiding love and admiration for ALL those who serve our country, and for those who serve with dignity and honor!! As mothers, sisters, wives and family - we have such an unpredictable tomorrow when our loved ones go off to foreign lands to fight for a cause such as "freedom"....it's a freedom that I believe must be treasured and respected for the great price of those who fought so diligently - that we may enjoy the very freedoms that we enjoy today. So many lives have been sacrificed for the liberties that we so richly enjoy today. I know that there are thousands of men and women standing ready to keep ALL of us safe and secure. I don't take that gift lightly - I pray everyday that freedom rings for those who truly are willing to fight for the right to have it. Freedom is not something that we can hand over to another nation, it's something we Americans have fought for continually to keep it "ours"; a gift more precious to us everyday when we stop to think all of those who have served this country to keep it alive in our hearts, minds, and in our everyday lives.
God bless you Peach, please know that we will keep your husband in our prayers - that he will be kept safe and far from harm's way - that God will return him safely home again.
Much love to you,
03-28-2007, 01:19 PM
Thank you again for your prayers and kind thoughts. It is so nice to know I can come here and be lifted up and taken care of.
My honey left this morning, and I did pretty well. It was harder watching him say good bye to the kids then it was for myself. Then I headed off to a rheumy appointment where he gave me medication for my Sjogren's because it has gotten a lot worse over the last couple of months.
I know we will all be okay. I just keep praying for wisdom, and strength and patience.
04-01-2007, 12:38 PM
(((hugs)))) to you, Peach.
I'm thinking of you and your family.......
04-01-2007, 03:27 PM
I woke up really sad this morning. It is so quiet around the house. I swear the kids are even talking in hushed tones. My husband and I have known each other since I was 12 years old. 22 years of my life, he has been there in some form every day and it is so weird not be able to pick up the phone and call him. Even when he has been gone on deployment before, I could call him pretty much when I wanted to. Now I just have to wait for him to have a moment to wait in a long line to call or write an e-mail.
Plus it seems like the TV is full of news stories of the war or 9/11 and stuff and I just can't get away from it. I am obsessed with research and reading about 9/11 lately because I feel like that day, those moments, led us to this point, and I am just trying to make some sense of it all. I have a feeling I am on a fruitless search...
Anyway, thanks for the hugs and good wishes.
04-01-2007, 05:43 PM
Peach, I think there are some things that defy sense, or reason, because the sheer enormity of them is so overwhelming. I lost so many friends on 9/11 - mostly at Cantor Fitzgerald, but a few friends at other firms too. It was really strange because a co-worker and I were originally scheduled to be in NYC that day for a meeting at Goldman Sachs, but it was re-scheduled at the last minute because the printer screwed up our closing documents. Something so simple, but that one thing changed our lives. But I remember hearing the news when the first plane hit, then several of us went into a conference room and turned on the TV, then more of us, and as the news got worse and worse, we were all just sitting there watching with tears running down our faces, too numb to even pray. I don't think you can make sense of what happened that day - and there are so many conflicting theories, conspiracy tales, etc. - I'm not sure the whole truth will ever be known. And I think you could probably drive yourself crazy, because even if you found all the answers, it wouldn't change what happened, or bring back any of the dead. The whys and the why nots, and the what ifs - for me, all those questions just bring more pain.
I understand why you need to find out what happened - because it has affected your life so much, and maybe if you just get the right answers, it would bring you some peace. But so much of what happened is tied up in religion, and politics, and history dating back to the crusades.....I've discussed this so many times with my Muslim and Jewish friends, and we never seem to come to any answers.
I know you must be so lonely with your husband gone - do you have any friends on base to socialize with? Have you and your kids sent any "care packages" overseas yet? Maybe picking out some things and packing the box will help your kids feel closer to their dad.
I wish I lived close enough that my kids could play with yours some - they are so rowdy now that warm weather is here, they could definitely keep yours entertained.
You and your husband are in my prayers every day.
04-02-2007, 09:37 PM
I am sorry for your loss Marycain, but I am more sorry for all of our loss of security and sense of safety on our home soil. I am sorry for the senseless loss of American lives that continues to this day. My terror of that coming into my home makes me feel faint sometimes.
Fortunately, I do have one dear friend who lives across the street who is a Navy wife (I live in military sponsored housing off base). I have one other good friend who is not military but still a good shoulder to lean on. She recently gave me a part-time job a couple of evenings a week to help keep me busy and its something I love and makes me feel good about myself.
The kids and I spent yesterday doing a mini "spring cleaning" and talking about how proud daddy would be of us. I think I might have over done a bit with the housecleaning and yardwork though, because my back is hurting today. Oh well, it is nice to have a clean house and patio. The kids and I had supper out there tonight.
04-03-2007, 07:13 AM
I'm glad you have some close friends in the area - it's always a comfort.
04-03-2007, 01:22 PM
Peach, you and your family are in my prayers. Maybe some of us on the forum can send care packages or even letters to the troops in your husband's unit - do you think that would be helpful? If you provided the info, I'll bet several people would be happy to do that. I know I sure would. Think about it....
04-04-2007, 02:00 PM
I think that anybody who wants to write or send something would be welcome. I don't have individual information though, just info for my hubby. If you want to write me a Private Message, I would be happy to give you his address.
Or, if you want to write general good wishes or send comfort items, you can send them to me, and I will send them in our care packages. My husband could then distribute them among the people in his unit. Either way, I think that is great.
Thanks so much for the great idea Jody!
Everybody here is so wonderful. Thank you all! I love you guys! :D
04-05-2007, 08:45 AM
You KNOW I love you, girl! I too, am sick and sad about Iraq. I have a darling nephew there; he's only 24 and gorgeous as all get out--looks just like his dad, my brother, at his age. I swear, if even a hair on his head gets harmed, I don't know what I'll do with myself. I myself believe we do NOT belong there anymore, indeed that our prescence there is causing more problems, but I am proud of and will pray for ALL who are there and for their families waiting. What a glad day it will be for all when we are reunited with the ones we love! Yes, freedom is a precious gift like browneyed girl said. Being women, do you all realize how BLESSED we are to be born in this country? I had a friend who started dating an Islamic man. She was dear to us, but has cut all ties with us. She told me she can't hang out with "infidels"!!!! *shrug* I miss her, but I can't understand her.
But I'm getting way off track here. Know that I am hugging you in my heart and praying too for you and for your whole family. Hey, I am gonna get MY MOM to pray...and her prayers are POWERFUL! I think God wouldn't dare not listen to her. Love and strength to you, dear Peach--Kathy