View Full Version : kindergarten DRAMA-- HELP!!

03-06-2007, 09:38 PM
this is not really lupus related. my newly minted 5 year old is turning into, i don't know what??? :?: :!: she calls my name CONSTANTLY!!! 'MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY.....!! she just wants me to watch her BREATHE even!! 'watch this mommy, look at me mommy....etc." i thought maybe it was due to my health, but im thinking its a stage now. i spend tons of quality time with her. no we don't go out and about, zoo, park, movies, etc... but we never really did that she remembers, i mean, we did before, but she was under 2 yrs old.

anyway, again, we spend tons of quality time, truly connecting. our routine: she wakes up in the morning and hops in our bed, and we snuggle, read, play games, watch some Sprout TV, sing, etc.. for about 3 hrs in the morning. then we get ready for shool. she's off to kindergarten from 12-3pm. she comes home around 4:30 or 5pm. if im feeling alright, then we do homework, or she'll help me cook, or we play more games. hubby useally gets her bath, but im right there with her...she has to be able to see me. we are very connected, and expressive. we laugh A LOT she feels comfortale in expressing herself, precoscious (sp??), intuitive.... we have a schedule and feel that routine is important, especially beause of my health. she has rewart chart where she earns points and stars towards different things.. extra TV time, extra time before bed, getting toenails painted, the big prizes are taking a bath in our BIG soing tub and getting to spend one night sleeping with mommy and daddy. we're about 50/50 with tucking her in at night, but saying nightly prayers is our thing we do. what more can i do??!! is it a stage?

we are trying to get her to work/play by herself, independantly. she just wants me to be practically on top of her as she does anything. clingy, you know. it's really starting to become a drain on me. hubby feels that it is because my health, and i did htink that for a while, so, unknowingly, i think i fed into it. i just fussed at him so say NOPE, that's not it! we are arranging therapy appointment for her just as a precaution,. she's been before about year and half ago, and doc say she's well adjusted all things considering. but she now is in kindergarten,and is a bit young for it. im thining that this may be the problem, more than my health issue.

maybe its just the prednisone snappiness :?: :!: i just had a round of cytoxan/rituxan. i dont know!! any feed back with be appreciated! thanks all

be well :wink:

03-07-2007, 05:08 AM
Hi Angela,

Well, it's been a long time since mine was 5; but I do remember that he was very much "in our face" every waking moment. I asked my doctor about it and after he explained it to me, it all made sense.

When our little ones graduate from mommy's hip, and they become mobile - they feel like they are invincible and can do anything because "their big kids now".....well, that is unless you get out of their eyesight....and then they get their "freak on" (smile). Remember my friend, it is a short phase.....and believe me it won't be long and you'll be wishing for those precious days back. They leave our arms and never our hearts. She'll do just fine mommy, she may very well be picking up on "something"...and that's a good sign. Children are the most unfiltered human-beings on the planet; they have the closest thing to God's heart and can sense all kind of emotions.

Don't worry about it (just my opinion though); savor these wonderful "cling on moments"......because they will end much sooner than you're ready to let go of.

Much love,

03-07-2007, 08:57 AM
Oh, I feel for you - my youngest just grew out of this particular phase and my sister's grandaughter is just entering it. I call it the "diva" stage - look at me, look at me - it's pretty normal for 5 year olds to behave that way. I don't think it's as much neediness as excitement - they are really starting to discover all the things they can do, and want everyone else to see it too! So they want you to watch them just get dressed, tie their shoes, etc. If she cried or pouted when she's away from you, or cried while in kindergarten, I might be more concerned that she's reacting to your health. Has her kindergarten teacher mentioned anything? They are usually sensitive to a child who may be having problems.

One thing that worked pretty well when mine were in that stage was re-directing them - I would say something like "Sweetie, I would love to (insert whatever) but right this minute I need to finish fixing dinner for everybody. Can you help me by getting the napkins out and putting them on the table? (or some other chore appropriate to their age) When dinner is over I promise you can have my undivided attention while you show me ------." I understand your concern, because of your health, but really - she sounds like a bright five year old and this behavior is pretty typical, even though it's exhausting for you.

03-07-2007, 04:38 PM
hey browneyed girl (that song just went off the radio!), and my dearest marycain! thanks so much. i figured it must be a stage, but with me being sick, im always a little over vigilant about behavioral problems. we've spoken w/ her teacher and she's perfect as a peach at school. and we've made her life as "normal" as possible given the situation, and i think we deserve a pat on the back for it. but i always feel that we can do more for her. ah well.... :(

everything you 2 have said makes sense. she's in kindergarten now, and it blows me and hubby's mind with what she comes home with all that she learns. she's a sponge - well, thay all are, huh? i guess im just in a prednisone grump! i just finished a round of rituxan/cytoxan w/ bolus steroids. im pretty full!!!! :roll: im going to go fuss in another post in a few minutes!

anyway, i do hope you both are doing well.
angela :wink:

03-07-2007, 05:09 PM
The stage that drove me absolutely crazy was the "why" stage! Why is the sky blue - why is grass green - why do cats have kittens instead of puppies - when my twins were about 6 - they could think of more questions than you could imagine, and they weren't content with "I don't know" - I finally bought them a children's encyclopedia in sheer self-defense. Luckily they grow out of all these phases!

03-07-2007, 05:55 PM
TWINS!!! i'll never complain again!!! at least i see that you've survived :lol: ladybug just turned 5 and we havent hit the 'why' stage yet, but the 'look at me, watch me breath' stage is in full swing!! :lol: thanks marycain :wink:

03-08-2007, 07:19 PM
I just wanted to say that I read your post in detail and I think you are doing a fantastic job with your 5 year old. I am not doing that great a job with my 2 boys (3 and 5). I need to do more - your charts, routines etc. all sound amazing. Do not worry. My husband sometimes calls me "wolfmother" - yes a double entendre....because I try to get the kids to be as independent as possible. But I do need to spend more quality time like you do. We have had a nanny most of the past 4 years and I have really disliked it and the overally impact. You should be very proud of all that you do for your daughter.
I hope that your latest treatment round brings some good relief for you...

03-08-2007, 07:33 PM
I am the youngest of ten, seven of which were boys. Compared to my seven older brothers, my four are a piece of cake - they have yet to wreck the tractor, cut off a toe in the lawn mower, fall out of a tree, try to play "rodeo" with the neighbor's Simmital bull, paint each other green, or set the house on fire. Other than putting some tadpoles in their jeans pockets, which I then accidentally washed in the washing machine, they are fairly well behaved. And if I learned one thing from watching my mom raise seven boys, it's not to sweat the small stuff - as long as they are healthy and happy, that's all that matters.

03-09-2007, 07:16 PM
wow marycain! you are amazing! yeah, i've had some time for my common sense to kick in, and yes, you all are all knowing, and are right. i do think though that ladybug gets a little anxious when i have my chemo, because it lays me out for a few days. im feeling pretty bad now, i just really wanted to get back to everyone :) i just know that in another day or two, i will feel so much better!
thanks for the advice, i do appreciate it!
be well :wink:

03-09-2007, 10:20 PM
Angela - I hope things start going better for you!

Marycain - I can only imagine the funny and outlandish stories you must have with all those siblings and boys, no less!!! (I want to know the house on fire one!)

It would be fun to hear all the funny kid stories all of you with children probably have!