View Full Version : depression
02-19-2007, 09:01 AM
I am just not mayself lately....am unable to enjoy the things Iusually do. Doc has me on trazadone for sleep, lexapro for antidepressant. I don't have troulbe sleeping (praise GOD) but I have a case of the dontwanna's. I haven't even been able to work on my book at all because I can't get into my characters. My adult daughter Jesscia is staying with us and helping alot with the cooking and cleaning with me. Sorry I don't post here much...it's another thing I don't wanna do....Love, Kathy
02-19-2007, 09:54 AM
Hi Kathy -
I like the term the "dontwannas." I (fortunately) don't feel like I"m depressed much, but sometimes a little sad, jealous, down, and defintiely dontwanna do some things or be around people. I don't think it's a bad thing every once in a while. I seem to recoup energy by spending some time alone, which allows me to be able to have energy when I need it.
I'll be thinking of you, Kathy. It's nice to have help taking care of things, but hard when you have to feel like you need to take care of (to some extent) that same person. I'm sure that's how everyone with children feels all the time!
02-19-2007, 11:26 AM
Kathy, you've been through a lot in the last few months - with the court case, moving, starting on the MTX, all the sickness you've had - it's exhausting, physically and emotionally. Maybe you just need some time to rest, meditate and nurture yourself instead of taking care of everyone else all the time. Take a mental break from all of it - your friends will still be here.
02-19-2007, 11:34 AM
Hi Kathy: Sorry about your case of the "dontwanna's". Boy can I ever identify with that. Hope you feel better real soon. I think a lot of people can identify with your plight.
I really also understand about your adult daughter coming home to roust. I have my adult son newly moved into the basement and now my adult grandson as of last week. I really love them but wish they lived elsewhere. In addition, we have a guest from Israel who is with us for 10 days for immigration purposes. Neither Gregory or I knew her but she has some connection with his sister-in-law who lives in Toronto. I can't say I am particularly enjoying the experience either. She is somewhat of a "princess" and solely focused on herself. She has offered no help around the house and is somewhat critical of me at least my size (which is quite generous). I took her to my water aerobic class on Saturday and she was exhausted and could barely keep up. Later that day when my husband questioned her about her experience she said "only men need exercise, women just need to quit eating"!!!!!! Boing.....another hit intended for my direction. Can I trade her for your daughter??? You would think a person who is welcomed into a strangers home only out of kindness would be a little kinder in word or at least "tape their mouth shut", and be grateful enough to at least cook the odd meal or do the dishes.
Things are not well either with my grandson staying here, now 18 years old. He arrived with long greasy blue hair and looked like a bum. His mom finally talked him into a hair cut but now he walks around with a toque on his head. Still no effort to find a job and was late getting up for his first day at school. I am going to need super patience here to deal with this situation.
By the way did you ever move? I know you were looking for a new residence but I never heard if you did or didn't move yet.
Well , dear Kathy, I hope everything will be looking up for you soon and I am sending you cyber hugs and positive thoughts and energy......Your "dontwanna buddy", ...... Patricia
02-19-2007, 06:13 PM
well, great. I now have a cold and my lupus has flared up. red face, achy joints, feverish, the whole nine yards. i will see my doc on Wed a.m. I guess Ishould consider myself lucky as this is the only thing I have caught while on MTX. But did the cold jumpstart my immune system, or what? doesn't matter, I'm sick anyhow. Hubby is making HIS MOTHER'S tacos (heavenly in description would not do them justice.) wahhhhhhh.What in terms of cold meds can I take?
I am taking methotrexate, plaquenil, gabapentin, prednisone, folic acid, calcium, compazine, trazodone and lexapro. any suggestions? Other than chicken soup--Love, Kathy
02-19-2007, 06:50 PM
Poor baby - when it rains it absolutely pours! Are you sure it's a cold and not the onset of the flu?Get hubby to fix a big steaming pot of chicken souo and add lots of garlic and onion and peppers - curry, tumeric and oregano are all good cold fighting spices.
With all the meds you are on, you might be better off staying away from any otc stuff until you can run it by the doctor or pharmacist - you would probably be safe to take vitamin c - but zinc lozenges might make your flare worse because they boost the immune system.
Unless the fever is really high or making you miserable, you're actually better off not taking anything to bring it down - fever is your body's natural way of killing off germs - so a couple of days of mild to moderate fever may really help you get rid of the cold faster. You can use a saline nasal spray to help with some of the nasal congestion, and old fashioned vick's vapor rub on your chest. If your head is aching try using either a hot or cold pack. You already know to drink lots of fluids - ordinarilly I'd say try a hot toddy but alcohol is not a good idea with your meds.
i know you probably don't feel like eating much, but if you have some fresh or frozen blueberries - they have natural "aspirin" that may help the aches and pains. Bell peppers are high in vitamin c - chili peppers can help break up congestion in your lungs - so can mustard and horseradish.
Stay warm - hope you feel better soon!
02-21-2007, 09:47 AM
YOU MY DEAR BETTER STOP LAYING AROUND AN EXPECTING A MIRACLE AND START TO ENOY ALL THE GOOD AROUND YOU !!!!!
YOU HAVE MORE GOING FOR YOU THAN YOU DO HAVE GOING AGAINST YOU !!!!!
IF IT IS THAT BAD THAN MAY I SUGGEST YOU GET IN TOUCH WITH A THERAPIST...I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING WHAT GOOD ARE THEY THEY CAN'T HELP ME AND MY SICKNESS....WRONG!!!!!!!
PART OF THE SICKNESS CAUSED BY LUPUS IS THE LATHARGIC ATITUDE AND THEN WE FALL INTO THE PITY POT AND EXPECT SOMEONE WITH A MAJIC WAND TO PULL US OUT OF THE HOLE WHICH WE DUG !!!!!!
ONLY YOU CAN CONTROL THAT PART OF YOUR BRAIN.....LOOK WHAT I JUST WENT THROUGH....IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH EASIER FOR ME TO SAY THE HE11 WITH IT AND GIVE UP...
BUT WHEN I LOOK INTO MY WIFES EYES AND MY DOGS COME TO ME TO BE PETTED ON THERE HEADS HOW CAN I GO AWAY FROM LOVE LIKE THAT????
YOU TOO HAVE THAT LOVE ALL AROUND YOU..
I THINK YOU ARE PUSHING IT AWAY FROM YOU AND UNFORTUNATELY WHEN PEOPLE SEE THAT YOU WON'T EVEN TRY TO HELP YOURSELF WELL THEN THEY TEND TO GIVE UP AS WELL.
A NICE WARM BATH
THEN GO GET A MASSAGE...
THEN HAVE YOUR HAIR DONE AND MAKE UP APPLIED PROFESSIONALLY
BUY YOURSELF A NEW OUTFIT
SOME SHOES TO GO WITH THAT OUTFIT
AND OF COURSE YOU'LL NEED A SPECIAL NEW BAG TO GO WITH THE NEW OUTFIT
THEN LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TELL ME IF YOU STILL FEEL DEPRESSED AND DO NOT WANT TO DO SOMETHING YOU ENJOY !!!!!!!!!
EVERYONE NEEDS SOMETHING THEY DO TO PULL THEMSELVES OUT OF THE FUNK...FOR ME IT'S MY GUITARS AND DOGS...FOR YOU IT'S????
SO take some advice from MADDI the smiling greyhound and SMILE !!!!
HOPE YOU HAVE A BETTER DAY TODAY !!!!!
02-22-2007, 08:28 AM
Well, St. James, this is probably not what you had in mind, but here's what I did yesterday: I got up to see my doctor and already had an outfit picked out to wear, all nice and dressy (I really don't get out much!) and I put on full-dress makeup. Then I said, WHOA! do I really REALLY feel like putting all this on? NO! What did I FEEL LIKE wearing? Well, I have lots of great pajamas, some of which don't "look like pj's" but more like a light sweatshirt/pants set. So that's what I wore to the docs instead! No one said a thing or looked at me strangely, so I don't think they noticed but *I* knew and it was strangely enough to make me feel better! (Analysis, anyone?)
He said it was just a "regular cold" and in truth, my flare is subsiding, so the methotrexate is doing its job. In fact, he upped the dosage to ten mg. Once the cold is gone, he will dial my prednisone dosage down, YAY.
I think this is a combination of the Idon'twanna's and the winter blues. I have a lot to look forward to, and I am concentrating on that. Rodeo is coming to Houston again and hubby got great tickets to see Rascal Flats, George Strait and Sheryl Crowe. I am looking forward to my court date to finally get a chance to stand up and say "This is NOT RIGHT!" (well, not in those exact words, but you get the picture.) and my wonderful stepdaughter-in-law is pregnant (thy have promised us FULL grandparent access :) ) so it's not all bad. As for the book, it can surely wait until I feel like I Do wanna. These characters are almost real people to me, and they aren't gonna just go away. They'll be there.
I guess what I'm saying is that I am just being easy on myself until this passes. Comments???
02-22-2007, 03:07 PM
Good idea, Littlered. It sure seems like you are doing a good job trying to balance everything and take care of yourself.
Three cheers for Littlered!!! Hip-hip hoorah!
And I am jealous of your tickets............love Sheryl Crowe!!!!! She's so pretty and talented..........and seemingly normal...........
Did you hear Billy Ray Cyrus is going to be on "Dancing With the Stars"? That show is a guilty pleasure of mine. And when I'm feeling down, I certainly want all of my guilty pleasures. What are yours?
02-22-2007, 03:42 PM
hmm....I can't BELIEVE I am admitting to this... :oops: I love Dancing with the Stars also...and--- :oops: American Idol too. *hanging my head in shame because St. James will surely bawl me out* LOL
other guilty pleasures.....chocolate, the higher the whatever it is, the better.
Getting my nails done.
Putting on makeup EVERY day, rain or shine.
A trashy novel now and then.
really REALLY bad books so that I can say, "I can do better than this!" :evil:
03-10-2007, 06:45 PM
this is such a powerfull thing.I still deal with this day in and day out.
it amazes me how powerful this is.