01-03-2007, 03:36 PM
Hey Brothers and Sisters,

IT'S SOOOOOOOOOO GOOD TO BE BACK HOME !!! Man, I have missed you! I can't believe I've been gone so long.

How is everybody? Through these tears, I say.....it's good to be back home again. You will never know how much I have missed our daily "chats".....

I have a computer now and I'm back in the free hugs business !!! So come on in....there's a hug here waiting just for you !!

Oh, it is so so so very good to be back in the fold.

I love you all,

p.s. my new year's AFFIRMATION : " I am truly, madly, deeply in love with the very idea of breathing, singing, laughing out loud....and free to be me !!

01-03-2007, 04:23 PM
Oh, girl, I have missed you!! *huuuuuge hugggggs* Welcome back!

01-03-2007, 04:52 PM
Welcome back - you have been missed so much. All of us have missed your "hugs"!!! :)

01-03-2007, 08:33 PM
I was organizing the search party, shooting off my flare gun and calling in the Coast Guard to go find my gurlfren!!!!!
You were missed just as much as you missed us - We are SOOOOOOOOO glad that you are back.
Now, tell us..how are you feeling? Are you doing ok? How was your Christmas and did you bring in the New Year with joy and love??
Fill us in on all that has been going on with you and I am giving you my biggest, warmest and most love-filled "WELCOME HOME!!!" hug. Can ya feel it?

Much Love

01-04-2007, 11:23 PM
Hey hey friends,

Thanks for the warm welcome back. Egads, you guys are gonna love this. I had my computer setup yesterday, created my password. So, today I turn on Big C (my computer's name) and whadya know....I forgot my password....HA !!!! So, a phone call 45 minutes later and some guy in India is laughing his head off, because I forgot my password in one day. I told him "hey, it's not easy being me"....this brain fog sometimes can last for days"...and he asks me "How far away have you been?"....I almost pee'd my pants. I said "never mind"...

Saysusie, I LOVE your New Year's article. That is so powerful, so well written.....I was so inspired !! Thanks for sharing your wonderful words of wisdom. It's those golden nuggets of truth that jolt us into what really is important for us all....to look forward, be present in the moment, to have dreams instead of doubts; to hold on to the promise of hope...holding on so tight that your next breath depends on it. I LOVED YOUR ARTICLE.....man, that is good stuff.

I was in and out of the hospital in October, for pericarditis; and gurlfrens - that was another story in itself....the ER doc was across the hall from my room and he was on the phone when I heard him say my name, he said I looked and acted like I should be in a nursing home. Well, I jumped off of the bed, ripped off my gorgeous gown; put on my clothes- went out into the hallway- and blasted him with the "what in tarnation are you thinkin' jerk, what happened to your hippocratic oath, the first of which is 'FIRST, DO NO HARM"....you don't know me; and you sure aren't ever going to have a chance to ever know me". He denied that he said it, and I raised my voice and said....don't lie to me; as I got in his face - the nurses and orderlies gathered around (I'm sure they thought I was outta control...but they hadn't seen nothin' yet). I told him I wasn't leaving until he admitted to me the truth of what he said; so......in the middle of a hallway in an emergency room - after 53 years, I found MY VOICE. I found MY COURAGE, I found MY STRENGTH!!

The doctor finally admitted what he said; I told him that often times when a patient presents to the emergency room, the only thing they have left intact is their "dignity"....and to insult and make judgements on someone without a single question was irresponsible. I called the hospital administrator and I took care of business.

Now on to the lighter side of life; the weather here in the pacific northwest has been outrageous to say the least. I've discovered that I hate indoor camping. It absolutely sucks (ooops, that's the only word I can think of that's halfway nice to use). We were without power for a week or so, and had it restored Christmas eve. I spent Christmas eve with friends...and I took a moment to pause about where I was last year and how far I had come. I was barely alive a year ago - and hope had snuck out the back door while I wasn't looking. And so a year has passed, and I found my hope hiding deep inside my heart. (whew, that was good).

My best friend and I decided that we are going to start using New Year's affirmations instead of resolutions. Speaking truth into our lives, speaking confirmations of what is good; what we're thankful for; what can we do to enrich the lives of others around us.

My New Year's wish for all of you is this; that you find comfort with those you love; that you find peace in your hearts and minds; that joy takes you by surprise; that laughter will fill the rooms of your house and heart; that you will be blessed beyond measure - to take a step towards reaching out to those who can't or don't know how to reach out for themselves.....and last but certainly not least, I wish you strength and endurance to live this life with lupus, with the certainty that you are never alone; you will never be alone.

I wish you every happiness, I wish you love.

01-05-2007, 01:01 PM
Talk about POWERFUL STUFF!!! Your entire post was filled with power and EMPOWERMENT! I applaud you for standing up to that doctor and for not backing down until he heard you, admitted the truth and understood how careless words can cause great harm! You are my HERO!
I love that you have made New Year's Affirmations. I am a true believer in Affirmations; in speaking the words and in "Knowing That It Is So". I end each of my affirmations with "And So It Is"
Your New Year's wish for us was absolutely inspiring. I copied it and put it on my bathroom mirror!!
Man.........it is SOOO good to have you back :lol: :lol:
Peace, Blessings and Love

01-05-2007, 04:35 PM
I know AWESOME is on the new list of words not be used (or overused) but I can't think of a better word for your post, Browneyedgirl! Welcome HOME! I love the plan to make affirmations - what a powerful idea.

You showed some incredible strength by getting up off that ER gurney and facing down that arrogant doctor. All I can say is AMEN to that! I've been in and out of ER rooms many times for pericarditis (as you know) and have had some great caretakes and some lousy ones. You put that doctor in his place and fought the battle for all of us who've been mistreated or dismissed by hospital staff. THANK YOU!


01-05-2007, 05:21 PM
Thanks so much for your kind words, guys; it is amazing to me how our spirits are lifted by sharing our thoughts with each other. I find myself wanting to spend ALL DAY with you.

We are not victims of this disease; I believe that God allows us to become victors in any situation in order that we may be able to teach others how to live. Our circumstances may be different, but our courage all comes from the same place....and for those who lack in hope, we share our abundant portion. Our victories should not ever come by the measure of another man's mark, but by our own perservance to pursue that "dream" that lies in each of us; a dream that dares to be discovered and uncovered in due time. I believe that at times our "mind's eye" can see what our worldly eyes cannot. Trust the truth that lies deep inside you; inside of us all.

No closer bond have I felt between friends than I do for you, my family of friends.

It's time for dinner, so off I go. Thanks everyone for the nice warm welcome. I LOVE THIS PLACE, I LOVE YOU !!!

Much love,

01-05-2007, 11:01 PM
Hi Browneyedgirl!

I'm just North of you and I couldn't be sicker of the weather right now!!!! I'm glad you are back with power. Mine went off briefly today and I thought we were in for it again - lots of wind- but it came back on in less than 30 minutes! Whew!!!

Do you do anything with the Lupus Foundation in Seattle? My sister and I walk in it every year (I missed this year as I was in Europe). It would be cool to get to meet there, if you do!

Well, I'm sure hoping that doctor sees the error of his ways and that the encounter with you changes his outlook and attitude. I've never had to be in the hospital in Seattle (knock on wood), but your experience does make me nervous.

I'm all for affirmations as well. Actually, on New Years Day, I started the year with a yoga nidra workshop where we focused on affirmations. It was great!

Happy New Year and welcom back to the cyberworld!

01-07-2007, 02:35 AM
Hi Missy,

Thanks for your nice note. After having been in the hospital for so many times (and for the most part treated very well), something inside of me said "enough". People can't understand what they can't see. Those of us with lupus "dont look sick"...but lupus affects us in so many ways. I happen to have CNS lupus and currently have kidney, heart, and brain involvement - so the symptoms are complicated and unpredictable. As I think everyone here would say "Amen" to that statement.

My experience happened at Northwest Hospital; so you can bet your bottom dollar I will never go there again!. Don't let my experience scare you, because the symptoms in lupus can happen suddenly - there are times when you will need to call 911. I have just ordered my medic alert which will allow me to push a button if I can't get to the phone quick enough. I don't know what type of lupus you have or to what severity, but please don't be scared. Knowing about this site has really helped me to not be so afraid - because there are many here who have traveled down this road before me...and it helps me to know that there are so many people here who genuinely care. Saysusie and her band of merrymakers are wonderful to share their wealth of knowledge and experiences. So please don't be afraid.

I have not been to the Lupus Foundation of Seattle. I will make a point of doing that next week. I have tried to find a support group on the eastside, where I live; but have had no luck.

Thanks so much for responding Jody, I hope you are feeling well. Dare to dream, dare to live your life out loud with joy !!!!

Much love,

p.s. THIS WEATHER SUCKS....but the upside is, just think how beautiful it's going to be when everything turns green, and the blooms will be brilliant !!!

01-07-2007, 10:30 AM
Yesterday was actually nice and I walked the dog and drove down to Seattle to visit my sister, but today is as crummy as it gets!

I'm just waiting for June.........when it will be gorgeous. And I'm headed to Mexico in a few weeks, so that's keeping me going!

01-07-2007, 01:43 PM
browneyedgirl, I have missed you so.. YOU are RIGHT--bald is beautiful! though I miss my hair and wish it would come back soon, I am beginning to love it. SO easy in the morning...and yes ppl do doubletakes, but I know I look stunning. I just wish somebody would make it the newest "vogue"....like the men did.
LOVE YOU GIRL!! welcome back!

01-07-2007, 10:04 PM
That person to bring it in VOGUE...is you my dear, hold that beautiful head up high and let your head shine bright - and let the beauty of your eyes be the center of attention. Have you ever noticed - that when you look at a bald man, you tend to look at his eyes first? I'm crazy about people's eyes....they tell alot about a person. So bat those beautiful eyes to the world, and let your beautiful bald head be a beacon of bravery, shine on for all of us who share in the "right of passage" on this lupus journey.

Be bald, be beautiful, be happy.

Choose your joy, today.

Much love,

p.s. thanks for the nice note - I have missed you too, my friend.

01-08-2007, 08:54 AM
Browneyedgirl I'm so glad you are back. I'm glad you are feeling better too!


01-08-2007, 07:23 PM
Hi Butterfly,

I was thinking about you this morning and was going to look for you.....and just like the real butterflies, you show up and it's gentle wonderful surprise.

I am feeling better, and my spirits are lifted so much when I sit down and "chat" with everyone here.

What's new with you and how are you feeling? Our winter has been horrendous, and I will tell you right now - indoor camping sucks !! We were without power, and thank God I do have a fireplace...so I felt like Tarzan and Jane for a while there; except my swining from trees would be because this weather is driving me up a tree (smile).

So nice to receive your note, thank you so so much.

Much love,