View Full Version : Cant get rid of the stress

01-02-2007, 02:37 PM
I am so stressed about everything changing in my life. We never think our health is going to be a problem at least I never did. I feel so lost. These meds are making me crazy..Is there no alternative?

01-02-2007, 04:26 PM
I can only handle all the stresses by breathing, praying, telling myself, "I can only handle TODAY."...and sharing with others on this forum. the stress never disappears, but I can take it better.

01-02-2007, 05:02 PM
I'm so sorry you're feeling stressed. You've come to the right place..everyone here has experienced what you're going through. The medications come with their own set of problems, but with the help of a good doctor, you should be able to find a balance. DO talk to your doctor about the stress you're feeling. And remember that we're here for you, anytime. If there's a local chapter of a support group nearby, I encourage you to check them out, too. (You can find local chapters at www.lupus.org) Sharing what you're feeling with those who understand can make a difference. I don't know what I would do without that kind of connection. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

01-03-2007, 01:05 AM
Thank you for the words of encouragment. It really helps...You tell Dr.s your stressed or have anxiety or sad they just want to put you on more meds... I never thought venting with others who feel the same would help but it does. thanks

01-03-2007, 07:37 AM
I am a big proponent for taking care of our emotional health as well as our physical health. As you have seen, being able to just talk to someone has helped your stress a little. Perhaps you can ask your doctors to refer you to a therapist/counselor/psychiatrist so that you can have your emotional needs taken care of (or even ask your place of worship if they have someone to whom you can talk to). Stress can cause your Lupus to flare, make the flares last longer or make it more difficult for your medications to do their jobs. It is very important that you take care of (and take steps to eliminate/reduce) your stress.
We are always here for you if you just need to vent, have questions, or just want to be assured that you are not alone and someone does understand how you are feeling and what you are going through.
Let us know if you are able to get some help with your stress. There are suggestions in some of the posts about how to reduce stress, perhaps they can help a little.
I wish you the best

01-07-2007, 03:08 AM
Hi Adria -

I don't think we've had a chance to chat before....and when I read your post I thought "what a brave soul!". You took a step towards healing just by speaking out. I think we weary souls have this "need" to feel normal all the time. Truth is; normal snuck out the back door when you were sitting in the doctor's office and receiving your "lupus news". (true)

I can certainly relate with everything you mentioned. I'm taking over 40 pills a day. Before all this, I maybe took an aspirin if I had too much fun the day before (smiling). So, normal moved out of my life quite a long time ago. So.....through alot of struggling and trying to manage all these changes by myself - I realized I wasn't handling this stuff so well. I have been an executive secretary for over 30 years; did huge planning events, and meetings across the country; I was consumed with staying busy and being the "best" I could be, because I have a passion for helping people.

One day my world, my life exploded in front of all my peers at work. I had suffered a mild heart attack and neurological disorder from the CNS lupus. I was in and out of the hospital for months, like you; I felt so lost - so alone. I asked myself "what do I have to do to get back to normal?"

My cognitive therapist said to me, "you will have to redefine what YOUR normal is - everyone's normal is not as it appears". It took me along time (months and months) to realize- that my life is different now. When I think of people who have lost their eyesight, or limbs - or suffered strokes that they can't recover from - it helps me to understand that life is like a garden. It's a continual work in progress, and yes there are things that are always changing, but in time - with the help of your doctors, family, friends, counsellors - you will learn tools to help you cope with these changes in life. I will tell you that I saw a counsellor who was a huge help to me....and I highly encourage people to seek help when they feel "stuck" in their lives. When you have a flat tire, do you keep driving it? No, it needs to be towed away or the tire changed - it's what needs to be done to get the car back on the road.....so it is the same when we get stuck, or afraid, or lost and confused - sometimes it takes someone with a different pair of eyes, and training to help us make it through.

I would like to encourage you to keep posting, keep talking, keep busy.
There are so so many wonderful people here to share, who care, and can help you through when you're too tired, or too afraid. There are many healing hearts here to help you see that hope is as close as your fingertips or a phone call. Stay plugged in to your family, friends and know that we're here to be your sisters. Sisters by choice.

I know and understand completely how you are feeling. Sometimes I feel like I was walking along this road called "life", and I went around the bend and fell into "lupus".....whoa what happened???? But I promise you, friend, believe it or not you will find there are many blessings in store for you in this journey, a journey you will never have to travel through alone.

Sometimes, it's not just a day at a time - no, sometimes it's an hour at a time. When I was where you are at, I struggled so much and now that I found my peace, I understand now that all those trials were meant for me, there were lessons learned, there were people I was destined to meet; and there came a time when I came through those trials and realized....that as I was walking up out of chaos and confusion. I became a stronger person; and you will too. I became more encouraged, by the kindness I had been shown; and you will experience that too. Finally, I realized that there is nothing in this world that is NORMAL or perfect; except for love. I know that sounds cornball, but it's true my friend.
You need to take care of you; nurture your body, your heart; your relationships - and take time out for you to relax, unwind, and breathe deep. Hang on to hope, it'll take you further than you ever dreamed.

I wish for you, peace.

Much love,

01-07-2007, 03:49 AM
Hi Adria

Like you I have so much stress, from health issues and within my personal life. It's so hard to deal with it on a daily basis.

Unlike you I don't have to worry about medicines and their side effects. Doctors refuse to give me any because of my severe allergy to most.

I am still working on the Lupus diagnosis. I have AS, FM, severe sleep apnea, severe allergies to sulfa, sulfites (in most medicines), and sulfates. My list goes on. My rashes, bruising, and many other signs of lupus are being investigated. My ESR is at 55, my ANA was negative last testing. Without a positive ANA my doctor will not diagnose me with Lupus, even though I have 7-9 (depending on the day) of the criteria for Lupus (even lesions on my brain). Oh yeh, I even have been diagnosed with Sjogren's.

I see my Psychologist on Tuesday because of the stress, and for my previous diagnosis of conversion disorder. (Landed in the hospital a year ago November, with stress related paraylsis - I was also investigated for MS.)

Adria, I find this board and others I visit for my variety of health issue, extremely beneficial. Without all my new friends, life would not be worth living. I still have a lot of stress in my life, but I am learning to deal with things, one day at a time.

Take Care

Many hugs are going your way



01-20-2007, 03:14 PM
I think all the stress in my life really contributed to the flare up I'm having right now. I'm a senior in college and last semester was really bad. I was taking 21 credits, working 35 hours a week, and lived in the worst party dorm on campus. While I was trying to sleep my hallmates were having shower parties in the hall bathrooms. I think I got 4 hours of sleep a night for a few months.

Realizing that the stress was making my soooo much more sick, I quit my job, moved, and am taking independent studies so I can stay in bed and still graduate on time. But the funny thing was that I got even more sick right after I eliminated the big stresses in my life, ending up in the hospital after the holidays. I guess it took my body a while to catch on.

I'm trying to keep the stress down and doing accupuncture, which has helped more than anything. I highly reccomend it for anyone who wants less stress but doesn't want to take even more medications. The other thing that really helps with the stress is trying to keep a positive attitude. I don't have good days and bad days anymore because lately its down to good and bad hours. But I just have to keep thinking that I could feel better and that I have a life waiting for me when I do.

My mom and I used to play this game called the Pollyanna Game. Its a disgusting evercise on optimism, but sometimes it helps. Today I'll say: "Yes, my hair is falling out, and my body hurts, and I haven't done the dishes in a few days because I can't stand up that long. But I have food in my pantry, I don't live in in a third world country where I wouldn't have access to medical care, and I still have hours at a time where I don't feel as bad"

Sometimes the game just makes me want to throw up but sometimes it makes me feel less stressed because there's nothing like a dose of "it could always be worse"

01-21-2007, 09:34 AM
Personally, I think I love your Pollyanna game. It is, actually, a game of perspectives wherein you are keeping things in perspective. There is nothing disgusting about that at all!!
In fact, you will find that most mental health professionals will have you do something quite similar when you are feeling down and depressed. So, do not knock the game that you play with your mother...I wish that many more of us would get involved in that same game :lol:

Peace and Blessings

01-23-2007, 02:19 PM
Thank you for your responses. It has brought tears to my eyes. I am tired of saddness.