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adria420
01-02-2007, 01:51 PM
:?: I am new here and have yet to talk to anyone. I am having a hard time dealing with this disease. I have always been healithy until last year when I got real sick with the flu and now I have lupus. Almost dying really messed with my head I am going to be 28 in march and feel like my life is being taken away from me. I am paranoid about everything and yet all the side effects are making me worse. The cytoxen treatments knock me down and I have to go back to work in feb. I just broke up with my long term b-friend and my emotions are crazy. We have been inseperable for over 12 years and now I am alone and diseased. I have my family who loves and supports me but I am lost and afraid that I will struggle health wise forever with these drugs poisoning me and prolonging my healing. How am I supposed to make money and get my carreer going? I have so much to say and yet afraid to talk to my loved ones because they might not know how to deal with me and I scare them. I am also having a hard time quitiing smoking ciggs although I have don really well but I will sneak a few here and there.

Saysusie
01-02-2007, 02:30 PM
Hi Adria;
I know how terribly frightening this lupus diagnosis can be. But, please do not think that it is a "Fatal" disease. Having lupus does not mean that you have been given an automatic death warrant. There are so many of us who have lived with Lupus for years and years. There are also many Lupus patients who live relatively normal lives and have found ways to manage their disease with the help of their medication, treaments and doctors. All of this is possible for you also.
However, stress is one of your biggest enemies and you do sound as if you are quite stressed right now. Lupus can be a lonely and misunderstood disease, but I want you to know that there is nothing that you cannot discuss with us!! I know you are feeling lost and hurt (especially with the break up of a long term relationship). You are grieving for the lost of your health and the loss of your relationship. There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling and you have every right to grieve and to be frightenend. But, please do not let your stress get to a level where you cause yourself more harm!
You are not alone, almost all of us have had to grieve for the loss of our good health and have had to come to terms with the fact that we now have a chronic disease. But, believe me when I say this, if you are willing to make the approriate lifestyle changes NOW, and if you continue to work closely with your doctors to determine the best treatment regimine and stick with it, you may be able to get your health back to a point where you can, at least, live relatively normally. Things will never be as they were, because you will have to change many things in order to manage this disease. But, things can be good enough for you to, once again, regain your joy for life.
We are all here to help you to accomplish that and to let you know that you are not alone. Please hold onto that possibility - it can happen!!!

I wish you the very best
Peace and Blessings
Saysusie