View Full Version : I'm afraid...

12-22-2006, 09:57 PM
Hi my name is Gabriela and I am 27yrs old. I was diagnosed with Lupus on Jan. 4, 2004. Dr's say that it looks like i had the disease for about 2yrs prior but I always thought that I was just being lazy and therfore never paid much attention to how I was feeling. When I was diagnosed I was in really bad shape that I had to leave work. I am 100% better today but find that I am still having a rough time accepting my Lupus. Its like I want to accept it but at the same time everytime I try to come face to face with my disease, I get scared. I feel like I have lost confidence in my body because it's not how it use to once be. Every little thing that I do wrong takes effect on my body. It has come to the point where I almost feel paranoid to do anything in fear that I will do harm to myself. It gives me anxiety and I hate it. I just dont' want to feel or go thru what I did when I was first diagnosed. I'm trying to be strong but sometimes I feel like no one really understands how I feel. My family and friends are great and have been there for me but to be honest sometimes me opening up to them isn't a good idea because all it does is make them worry more about me. I always have my head up, but there is just somedays where all I want to do is cry and ask myself why?.....I'm hoping that this website will help me see that I'm not alone.

12-23-2006, 09:06 AM
Hi, Gabriella - welcome. You are certainly not alone here - all of us are trying to deal with lupus as best we can, and help each other along the way. We are glad you are here to join in.

12-24-2006, 09:57 AM
Hi Gabriella! Welcome to our family. I am the same age as you and I have been living with this disease for soon to be 17 years. I was diagnosed as a child and had to grow up with the disease. It is very hard, but you can do it. I hope that we here can help you through the ups and downs. Know that you are never alone. We are here for you.
~Merry Christmas

12-24-2006, 06:16 PM
Gabriella, you will find comfort, support, advice, resources, and a shoulder to cry on here. Welcome! You should know that a diagnosis of lupus is hard to accept at any age. I'm 30 years older than you and just diagnosed last spring. I'm still reeling and learning how to live with the disease. But, I know I CAN live with lupus, and can do it successfully. And so can you, Gabriella. Take heart!

12-25-2006, 09:06 PM
I also have lupus and am 27. I got diagnosed 2 years ago and felt exactly the same way you do! I hated the feeling of not trusting your own body. I was angry because prior to Lupus I had dreams of pursuing a career as campaign organizer. But because they work 12-16 hour days I had to give it up. BUT the positive thing is that Lupus has forced me to slow down and realize that I have other talents and I can pursue other careers. I am currently in a top ranked graduate school, planning a wedding, and working 25 hours a week! This is something that two years ago I would have thought impossible. It's not that I don't get tired or my body doesn't break down on me sometimes, I have just learned how to balance it all. Believe me, if I got sick tomorrow I would drop my job in a heartbeat! Nothing comes before my health. I know this is a lengthy response I hope this is helpful.